Scared of becoming pregnant again

[AreAnyNamesAvailable]

I had what many people would probably call a straightforward delivery ie no instruments however found the whole experience brutal and terrifying, labour for many hours, puching for 3 hours, head appearing and disappearing and the doctor going after it with her hand! I have now got 2nd degree tear and prolapse and am not having sex as not only worried about it being painful but also don't want to become pregnant again. Overcame embarrasment to go to GP to get prolapse diagnosed but not sure what to do about fear of childbirth. Already worried about giving DS a little brother or sister as would really like to but would want a CS and not sure you can choose without good reason. Any advice? These thoughts are taking up a lot of my time

You can indeed have an elective caesarian for a traumatic delivery (and if you had a second degree and prolapse that is a traumatic delivery).

However may I suggest you ask to go through your birth records with a midwife at the hospital to understand what happened and get some closure on it.

I had a very traumatic birth first time, ending in a caesarian and going through the notes really helped me.

Thank you so much, will ask for a copy of hospital records, wasn't sure if I was being a drama queen without a reason to be so distressed by the whole thing!

sounds pretty distressing to me. As well as seeing your records you can sit down with someone and go through them as whomoved said. Most places have some sort of after birth discussion service which you can use at any point. Your reasons for wanting an elective CS sound perfectly good.
Good luck