I hated not knowing what was wrong with me, I was very frightened. Once I'd had my diagnosis it got easier though because then I could get on with treatment and finding out more about it.
I was very angry for a few months after my diagnosis, I think I went through the grieving process when I realised that I was always going to have this condition. I had to tell myself that it was bad, but it was controllable, and that I could have it a hell of a lot worse.
In answer to some of your earlier questions:
Is RA genetic - no. Doctors still don't know what causes RA. It's an autoimmune response.
Can you reverse it - unfortunately, no. Once you have it, you have it. The 'flares' of inflammation can be controlled with drugs though. There are quite a few different treatments that you can try. I'm on sulfasalazine for instance, because you can still get pregnant and breastfeed while taking it. The website links can tell you more about the other available treatments.
What can you do to stop it getting worse - generally looking after yourself will help, but there isn't anything apart from drugs that will ease your symptoms. Some people claim that diet can also help. Again, the RA society and your doctor/rheumatologist will be able to advise you.
Pain relief - if you aren't already taking it, ibuprofen can help as it is an anti-inflammatory. That didn't touch mine, so I was put on Diclofenac Sodium (Voltarol over the counter, but weaker than prescribed DS) while my sulfasalazine kicked in. While it helps to ease the symptoms, you can't take it for too long as it can have nasty side-effects. Worth asking your doctor about. A rhuematologist may also give you steroid injections to help ease the pain until any treatment starts to take effect.
I know how you feel about wanting to cry. If you feel like you need to, then my advice is to do it. I cried a lot when I was first starting having my joint problems - DD was 6 months old and it manifested itself after I stopped BF - and it helped me. Don't bottle it up
Whatever the outcome of your meeting with the doctor this week, try to focus on the pain being a transitory thing. At the moment, you don't know how long it will last, but you're on the way to finding out what is causing the pain and being treated to relieve it. Take care