Menopause, D & C and then Mirena advice, please?

[dht240]

For years I've had problems with my periods and have done the 'problem solving' with the GPs. When I was 33 I had an H D & C and was told that if I was going to have children, my time was running out (for various reasons.) At the time, I accepted I couldn't have children. Done deal.

This week I went (private) to see a new gynae, as I'm sick of telling my GP that I can't take progesterone related drugs (weight gain, loss of libido, and moods - not to mention breast pain, spotting and weird hair!). The new gynae was great. He's testing FSH for potential menopause (it's in the family history), but he isn't convinced that's the problem. I'm having another D & C in a couple of weeks to help with my 19 day periods (yes, bleeding for up to 19 days a month)...and has recommended Mirena coil. He also dropped the bombshell that I can still have children. I'm about to hit 40 and am now in complete shock at this. I would love to have my own children (have two stepsons), but had accepted I couldn't.

I know I have to wait for the FSH results to confirm that's not the case, but should I really have Mirena fitted if I'm going to consider a baby?

Unfortunately, this is all a real dilemma, as my partner doesn't want any more children. I haven't told him what the gynae said yet. I get too emotional thinking about it.

sorry for the long message - I'm new to this!

Thank you for any advice or experience you may have with any of the issues here.

D.

I would say you need to discuss your need to have a baby with your partner because getting pregnant while he doesn't want any more children could mean the end of your relationship. Which do you want more? On the other hand, you only get one stab at life, it's not a dress rehearsal.

My DH and myself had fertility problems which nearly caused us our marriage and we BOTH wanted children. HTH

Please please be very careful with the Mirena coil!

You have mentioned that you can't tolerate progesterone - this could very well mean that you would have problems with a Mirena coil. You need to do a google search on and a Mumsnet advanced search so that you can see some of the problems people have had.

You can find info from the patient info leaflet at this link:

www.patient.co.uk/health/Intrauterine-System.htm

"Side-effects are uncommon. The progestogen released by the IUS mainly stays around the uterus and very little gets into the bloodstream. ....... Examples of possible side-effects include: mood swings, reduced sex drive, fluid retention, increase in acne and breast discomfort."

It seems like doctors try to convince women that any problem they report are not side effects. Obviously some people find they work fine but I am really cross that doctors are not explaning possible side effects properly.

The main thing is to be aware of the above in advance if you do go ahead with the coil.

This is my very first post on Mumsnet - I've been lurking for months and months - I just couldn't not answer your request for info.

My story is that I have a DS who is 2 years old and I have recently had a Mirena coil removed after I became depressed and anxious and started suffering from random pregnancy type symptoms. (I've previously been on the pill for years with no problems). I now have a copper coil which I am very happy with.

Have you looked into "natural" methods of regulating your cycle - Angnus Castus, change of diet (Marilyn Glenville book's on PMS etc?)

Don't have any advice on the whether to try for kids bit apart from a book "I Want A Baby, He Doesn't: How Both Partners Can Make The Right Decision At The Right Time".

Good luck!