Phobia of Being Sick - Got Worse Today

[mumtochloe]

CM told me as she was collecting DD that her and whole family all have had a horrid sickness bug at weekend as have a couple of minded kids. I froze and said that I would keep DD at home, then realised I couldn't as work would make my life hell plus I have not enough holiday left anyway.

Feel scared and really anxious now - just know we are all going to get it and I can't handle it

They tend to just hand out pills - and they make my mouth so dry that I drink lots... very quickly... and then throw up

Seriously, have you oncsidered adopting?

Apparently you feel worse with sickness having a girl. Maybe if you got pg with a boy this would not happen or at least not happen as bad. However there are no guarantees of having a boy so don't know what to suggest really. Is there nothing at all medically that can be done for this? How does your DH feel about your phobia? Is he supportive?

He's very very supportive, although there isn't much he can do.

I'm determined not to let it get in the way of me carrying a second child (we are TTC now) - I am just very very prepared. I am trying to get myself as healthy as possible, hoping that if my body is in a good state, then it might handle a pregnancy better and stop the sickness.

I'm also on a strict routine of denial . While there is no sickness, I am convincing myself that I will be fine... for me, it is when the queasiness hits that I start panicking.

Good for you FS - think you are really brave and right too. Imagine if you let this prevent you from having another child, then regretted it in years to come when you were too old to TTC

mumtochloe,

I can symphasize with you, since I suffered from scarlet fever as a child I have had a severe phobia of being sick.

I have only actually been sick three times since I was younger. Once when having DD and twice with food poisioning.

Somehow I have managed to turn my insides into steel because of my phobia but if I do ever feel sick I have severe panic attacks.

hence to say I'm not doing too well while going through the first trimester of pregnancy. I hope you find help soon but the only advice I can give is in these situations probably best to stay away from the sickly people. It just isn't worth the fear that comes afterwards.

I freak out over being sick too (it's called emetophobia). Thankfully, I can cope if the DD's are poorly, I'm determined not to pass this on to them. I'm sure my mother passed it to me - she used to panic and pretty much hide if one of us caught a stomach bug. I've managed not to throw up since I was eight, following a really bad bug, apart from the time I reacted to an antibiotic.

I find homeopathy fantastic!
Flamesparrow, I know of a homeopathic treatment you can take for morning sickness. Probably best to see a homeopath if you are interested .

Hello, fellow sufferer here. (I have changed my name this week, as old one too obvious!)

I think my phobia started because I was very carsick as a child and as I got older I was scared of "making a mess" in the car. My mum was a bit like yours, BB, even though she was a nurse! One of my school friends was sick in our car (aged 10) and parents were SO ANGRY!!!!My mum still talks about it!! And, no coincidence,
i have not been sick since!!

FlameSparrow - Good luck ttc, you are very brave!!

Those of you who HAVE vomitted since your phobia began - did it not cure you??? I have always thought that if I could just throw up once then I'd be ok. Is that not the case? (depressing thought)

Nope... didn't cure me.

Since the pregnancy I am sick very very easily once I feel queasy.

I always think to myself that I'm just being silly, and that its probably not going to upset me as much as I'm thinking... then I'm sick and we're back to square one.

I thin kthat's how I'm doing ok with the TTC - Its been a while since i've had a bug or anything, so I'm back to "its fine, you're just being silly"

BB - My friend is great with all things homeopathic. She's got me set up with Nux Vom at the moment, and says to see how we go with that for the time. Since I've been taking it in everyday life, I haven't had hangover queasiness or travel or anything. Its magical stuff!!!

Hello Everyone and hello to all you new confessors!

A common theme seems to be parents reactions to this. My mum was always awful to me when I was sick as I was never able to make it to the bathroom in time, and once rubbed my nose in it like a dog.

Unfortunatly I did not find vomiting cured me - it made me worse. I caught a bug last year and was practically hysterical each time the waves of sickness came. I can honestly say it terrifies me.

I hate the fear when someone at work insists on standing really close to tell me how sick they have been recently or when DD tells me a child in her class at nursery has been sick.

How long has everyone suffered for? Can you all remember exactly when your fear began or what triggered it?

mumtochloe, I can't believe your mum rubbed your nose in it, that is just awful

I have actually met a couple of people in real life with this phobia, one of whom is actually my husband's ex-girlfriends. When I confessed to him about my phobia he rolled his eyes and said "it must be on my contract"!

Have "met" several emetophobes on an eating disorders website I used to be on - NO Coincidnce. I am so scared of eating, even normal food makes me anxious.

I never ever talk about it with anyone except dh though, it's not something that comes up (lol) in everyday conversation is it? But I am SO concerned about not passing it on to my children.

I remember my mother's reactions to it from a very young age. She did try, but children are perceptive! She was obviously extremely tense and angry (as if I should have some control over it) as I got older, she'd go into hiding or air her anger (and so her fear). My brother who's 18 months younger is emetophobic too.

My sister who is 5 years younger isn't. Unsurprisingly, it was me rather than my mother that looked after her if she was poorly, since we were quite small. At that age, I wasn't scared of it and so negative feelings didn't rubb off on her. When I was in my teens, my mother once asked me to miss work (while she went to her job) to look after my sister because she was sick. It turned out to be meningitis.

I became phobic of it after a particularly nasty bug when I was eight, during which I was repeatedly punished for not making it to the bathroom in time.

The only time I have been sick (well ok, I dry retched!) was when I reacted badly to an antibiotic when I was pregnant. With 'every day' bugs I'd rather sit and struggle for hours, or days if necessary to avoid throwing up.

I wish I could be as matter of fact about it as my sister is. It's just such a non issue for some people!

My pet hate is being caught out when watching tv. Just on occasion, they manage to shock me with someone being sick, even if it is an actor (but worse if it isn't) it makes me feel queasy for days.

So many of you seem to have a reason for your phobia. Am I the only one who has had it all her life? I was trying to explain this to the CPN last week: to me, my phobia is an adult extension of the revolt I thought all children felt when faced with vomiting. I wasn't sick much as a child and so I felt I never really got to grips with it - it never became normal IYKWIM. Now though, I am not so sure that all children do feel revulsion towards vomit and vomiting. When I taught, a child was once sick all over the floor of my classroom. I at once removed all the class to the playground until the caretaker could clear it up but realised I didn't have something I needed once I got outside. To my astonishment, one of the boys in my class volunteered to go back and get it for me. I remember saying in utter astonishment, "but don't you mind?" and he just grinned and said "no"! So not all children do feel the way I felt as a child.....

Also, my parents were not unkind to me when I was ill. Both my parents are doctors and have a pretty matter-of-fact approach to all medical matters. But my mother was never blase about my illnesses, she didn't leave me to cope alone. Even when I was a grown up and was once sick because I had over eaten rich food at a restaurant, and I got her up in the middle of the night like I would have done as a child, she didn't show anything but concern and support. So I really don't know why I have my phobia.

Also, a question that really stumped me when I saw the CPN was what exactly am I afraid of? When the kids are sick what do I think will happen? I know the answer is not just that I fear I will catch it because I have never been sick from my children - a bug will go through to my bowels - sorry if TMI. Anyway, say I am scared of catching the bug, the question remains, what am I scared of? Can anyone answer that for themselves? The CPN didn't seem to think much of my inability to describe what my actual fear was.

To any emetophobes who have not read as much about this condition as I have, you may be interested to know that if you are an emetophobe you can almost literally steel your stomach not to throw up as Horseshoe described. Apparently that is common and explains why I get diarrhoea but not vomiting. But not much help to those of you who know you can still be sick at the drop of a hat.

Oh BadgerBadger, so much of your last post (your reactions to vomiting on TV etc) are so familiar to me!

I sense some resentment towards your mother as if you blame her for your phobia. I can understand that and yet at the same time I feel for your mother because I completely relate to her behaviour too. I am awful to my kids when they say they feel ill although I try to make it up to them afterwards by being very sympathetic and my ds1 now knows mummy has a porblem with this. I try to tell him it is not normal behaviour in an adult so he doesn't grow up copying me.

Hi lonelymum, I was wondering if maybe something happened before your concious memory began that made you feel that sickness was something terrifying??

A story my mum told me recently makes me wonder this. Apparently when I was very tiny, 1 or 2 years old, there was an incident with our dog being sick. He was upstairs and rather than stay in one place, he ran down the stairs to try and go out in the garden, and was making a terrible mess (sorry if tmi!!) So my mum was frantically trying to stop him. But because I was too young to understand what was happening, I was TERRIFIED and SCREAMING. My mum said she couldn't understand what scared me so much but I was inconsolable. So much so that the neighbours came round to see if everything was alright! Perhaps I thought the dog was exploding or something, who knows. After she told me that, i wondered if that was the incident that set the seed in my subconcious that sickness is scary, and the later incidents just confirmed it.

Maybe something similar happened to you? Our subconcious mind does very strange things sometimes.

(Lonelymum, I do resent my mother, but for far more serious reasons than passing on her emetophobia. We haven't had contact for years, but that's another matter entirely .)

Hello. Another fellow sufferer. I am amazed at how many there are. I always thought I was alone in this and anyone I have told about it has always thought I was mad.

My phobia is much more other people being sick than myself. That's quite unusual I think (from what I have read). I have been sick myself fairly recently and although it has not cured me, I suppose it has helped slightly - I survived and I think the fear of the unknown, particularly if we have suppressed the vomiting reflex for years (for me over 15) as many of us seem to have, does not help. On the other hand, as I am worried about others doing it, I think that if it can happen to me then it is much more likely to happen to others who can't (or even don't want to!?!) suppress it as I can.

I have also coped with my son being sick. Like others, I am very concerned that I may pass it on to my children. I was on my own with him at the time and I actually managed to hold him and said "You're OK, I've got you" etc. It didn't feel real to be honest. I was concentrating so much on saying those words (and not looking!) that I almost suspended belief in what was happening. Not an out-of-body experience or anything but definitely a conscious feeling of having to get through it and dealing with it later. Afterwards though I was a state - nightmares, crying etc. So I have mixed feelings about it. I'm proud of dealing with it (in the past I have found myself sprinting bare foot down the streets of Edinburgh at 3am to avoid someone being sick. God knows what would have happened if I hadn't been dressed at the time - I dread to think!) but at the same time it has retraumatised me if that makes sense.

Lonelymum, I have also been asked what I am scared of. Like you, it is definitely not that I might catch it. If I had to make a choice (not a sort of choice that would ever arise), there is no doubt that I would prefer to be sick myself than someone else. A counsellor once asked me if it was because I thought they might die. I know it is definitely not that. The only way I can describe it is that it is the worst thing that I can imagine happening and that when it does happen it is the worst thing in the world. I thought the whole point of phobias was that they are irrational fears. I'm surprised we have both been made to feel inadequate for failing to pinpoint why it scares us.

I can't watch it on TV either. I have a few people in RL who know. There have been lots of times where I have had to trust people to get me out of somewhere so I wouldn't see or hear anything. I always get one of them to "vet" films before I watch them!

It is very interesting to read others' experiences, at least so that we don't feel so alone in it. Good luck to everyone.

I think this sounds horrendous and really feel for all of you. Have any of you tried hypnotherapy? Isn't this sometimes good with phobias?

Sorry to gatecrash your thread ladies but I wanted to ask Flamesparrow, Is Nux Vom safe to take in early preg? I, too suffered with hyperemesis, 7wks in bed, sometimes hosp bed, living on water and the occas. bit of stale bagel?!? Absolutely terrified to get preg again although just started trying and really keen IYKWIM. I'd rather go through labour every day for 7wks than the sickness I felt!
So did it work and can I take it early on?
Thanks

Steala, I relate to you so much! I do have a fear of being sick myself and I get into a terrible state if I feel even a bit nauseous, but, apart from three quite minor incidences involving too much rich food and tinned mussels (NEVER again!) when I was in my early 20s, I haven't been sick since I was 9 - 31 years ago! So, I suppose that helps me live with my fear of being sick - it isn't very real because I don't have to face it. Also, I do feel that if the worst came to the worst and I was sick, well, it wouldn't be pleasant and I wouldn't handle it very well, but I would get through it and it might even make me stronger. For all I know, it might cure me completely!

But dealing with other people's sickness is another matter entirely (how daft is that? I can't even explain it to myself!) Like you, when I have had to deal with my children being sick, I can put my hands on their shoulders, I can say "It's all right, I'm here" and I can clean up the mess (the worst consequence of vomiting IMO - if only my children could vomit cleanly into a loo!) but oh Lord the state I get into afterwards! Every time my children are ill I am plunged into a terrible black depression for about a week or two afterwards, and then I hate myself so much I often iwsh I could be dead. I just feel I am such an incompetent mother. I even realised part of my loneliness is due to this: I don't want to mix with other mothers because I feel my inadequacy when compared with them.

Sorry, I don't know why I am writing this. It is not helping me right now.

From the sound of it, a lot of people feel this way. There must be loads in RL too.

I am fine if I see someone else being sick on the TV, or even if I know I cannot catch it myself. However the thought that I may get a tummy bug fills me with fear. The only way I can describe it is I am frightened of the feeling, of the nausea, of the taste, just of everything. I am the same as you Footprint and part of my problem is I have a severe phobia of choking too which means I cannot eat in front of people. I remember reading in a magazine about a teenager who was really ill (not drunk) and who died after choking on his own vomit. This REALLY scared me and I remember thinking that being sick was something to avoid too.

Got to go but its good to be open and honest about this. Back in a couple of hours. Please carry on posting - its nice to hear others feel the same and can share experiences

xx

Sorry - missed you!!!

Yes, Nux Vom is safe to take early preg.... unfortunately I only found it after pregnancy, so I haven't first hand morning sickness experience. My friend swore by it though.