diarrhea and allergies

[JJ]

So I've got a stupid question.. what do you do about diarrhea that is caused by allergies (maybe?)? How do you tell the difference between that and whatever normal diarrhea is? Can a child have normal diarrhea without any other symptoms? Could someone let me know why my son is sick tonight?

He's allergic to milk and peanuts. We've never had a bad peanut reaction but many fairly horrible incidents with milk protein. He's growing out of it, so, I'm assuming, is much less likely to have another anaphylactic reaction. I let him have a chocolate Chuppa Chup (one of those little lollipops) this afternoon and it might have had milk protein in it. He's not too sick tonight, but not happy and has diarrhea as well as a bit of asthma. I think both can be explained by other things, but... I dunno. This isn't like any other reaction and while I don't think he's going to start having a bad reaction in the middle of the night, I've got the epi-pens within reach.

What I want is someone to tell me that diarrhea (with no other symptoms) is a normal thing for kids. Plus, I'd appreciate it if someone could clue me in to the proper British spelling.

My kids have had diarrhoea with no other symptoms - is that what you mean?. Most noticeable in the one still in nappies obviously but the others sometimes tell me if they're a bit squiffy in that department. No temperature, not off their food. When it happens I keep them off dairy for a day or two and that usually does the trick.

Thanks. Yup, that's what I wanted to hear.. except the keeping them off dairy part. He's supposed to be off dairy, expect I'm just getting so damned frustated with the allergies that I don't check the lollies each and every time. (Sorry, I don't mean to sound angry with you.. just angry at life in general at the moment. He was supposed to be better by now.) Thanks. I thought it was a normal thing. It's hard to tell sometimes. It's nice to know where the "o" goes, too.

JJ, I don't know whether it's useful to you, but I am allergic to sulfites. If I eat some by accident (usually from food cooked with wine) my reaction consists of stomach cramps, followed by explosive diarrhoea, followed by a severe asthma attack. It really sounds to me like your son had a reaction to the chuppa chup. Sorry, it must be really difficult with the allergies. I find it hard enough as an adult trying to avoid food cooked with wine and trying to explain to people that cooking the wine may burn off the alcohol, but it doesn't get rid of the sulfites.

SofiaAmes, I checked the package this morning and the second ingredient was skimmed milk powder. It was definitely a "worst mother ever" moment. He's ok today, though and the good news is that he's obviously getting much better allergy-wise. I will be more careful in the future. Do you take anything other than the inhaler when that happens? It's good to know what to look for.

My 20 month old son also fell down the stairs yesterday. He's ok too. My mothering skills were at an all time low, although they've recovered somewhat today.

Being allergic to sulfites must be difficult! Especially when people refuse to understand.

No, I just use the inhaler. But I now know what to expect when I get the first hint of symptoms. (And therefore always grab my inhaler before going charging off to the toilet!) And also, panic can make asthma attacks worse, so knowing what to expect certainly helps. I've really got it pretty much under control nowadays. I used to get several attacks a month and now only get a couple a year. I think also sulfites used to be much more widely used in foods than they are now. Please don't add yourself to the bad mother club. It is impossible to keep on top of everything.

SofiaAmes, thanks again. My husband and I really appreciate the info. We considered giving him an antihistamine, but I was worried the reaction would progress just without the histamine component (which, for my son, is the most obvious) and bad things would happen. But yours don't, right? (Your reactions sound much worse than my son's was on Friday.)

My son is going away to camp tomorrow with his school. On Friday I gave them a long lecture (for me) about how he was feeling left out because they didn't make sure that he had good (by "good" I mean equivalent to the cake the other kids were getting every now and then so good by his standards) treats to eat when everyone else did. And he has come home in tears because of this very frustrating, especially as he goes to an extremely small school (less than 20 kids in the school). Anyway, I sent them a note that included the following (and I quote myself):
" He's been getting more and more down about not being able to eat what the other kids have and I don't see any reason he has to be left out at camp. There are plenty of things he can eat and, of course, all you have to do is tell me what you want and I'll get the variety he can have. Reading the labels isn't that difficult, either."

The bad mother feeling hasn't quite worn off yet, but I'm getting there (neglected him while he watched TV today, so not too terribly much guilt).

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So funny Bron! My second son was not supposed to have nuts before his 3rd birthday.. Conscious me checks everything, only to miss the first ingredient of his most loved fruit bar (hazelnuts). He's not allergic to them and I'm so glad -- very willing to give up that obsession.

Robin, Garvey's gone the other way-- he knows what it's like to have a horrible reaction so never really minded it but now that he's getting more social (eg a normal 5 yo) it bugs him more. And this is one of the reasons I chose this school! What they don't realize is that I'm loyal to my son and not to them. I always loved big schools (loved being lost in the crowd) and think now that that might do him good, too. We'll see. Amazingly pissed off, I am. Although I think your daughter and you have it harder. It's easier just to live with it from the start, no matter how frustrated I get.

Yup, still in Switzerland. We have a lovely doctor here (just obtained a new one.. I'm horribly picky). I still miss our London doctor and we hope to be back there in a year or two.

Hopefully he will have outgrown it by then. We still can't fly direct from here (Zurich) to Atlanta because the only airline that does it (Delta) serves peanuts. So it's BA and a couple of days in London. Poor poor us. ( Imagine that said in a "rolling of the eyes" type voice.. I'm looking forward to it.)

Oh Bron, it's not so funny-- just the way you wrote it. The "fallen foul" bit...

Honestly, it has to suck.

But my son is going to get better. YOU HEAR ME? My son is going to get better, all you powers that be.

And there you go.

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Robin, thanks. I've been thinking about you -- so sad to hear about your mum. I hope you're doing ok.

After you wrote that, I had a look around and my son does have lactose regularly (it seems to be a common ingredient here -- Milchzucker (milk sugar).. is that lactose? I'm assuming it is), so I don't think it's that.

The "other children" thing has really hit me. I do think it would be better for my son to know other kids in the same situation. We're thinking of taking him out of the school he's in (v tiny international school) and putting him in one that is about 500 times larger (ours is a very small school) if only so that he'll have someone else who is the same as him. I had hoped the school would be able to deal with the allergies --I've always loved big schools (when I was a student) so this was one of my main reasons of putting him in a small school.

Anyway, it's really good to know that having someone like him helps. We're in the position that we can change schools somewhat easily, so I will investigate that. My son is social, but, um.. he's hard to explain. He never misses anyone, I guess. He's a bit different and lives in his own world and he has friends at the other school who know and like him, so changing just really wouldn't be a big deal.

Sorry, kind of babbly.. I'll change computers and send you the email I sent to my son's school after the camp. Just because it makes me feel better.

Robin, all my love. I hope.. well, I don't know what to hope.. I guess that it's all going as best it could.

Here's the email (replacing all names):

[My son] had a great time at camp. Thanks for taking the kids. I know it was hard work and [my son] did mention wandering around one night, so I'm guessing you guys didn't get a lot of sleep.

Thanks, also, for preparing dinners and lunches that he could eat. I have to admit, though, I'm upset that his breakfast wasn't considered. The cereal might have contained traces of peanuts, no one thought to buy him soya milk, he couldn't eat the pancakes (he was upset about that today) and he was disappointed the margarine contained butter. You guys obviously made an effort to include him for the most part.

The reason I'm so frustrated is that I offered time and again to help with the shopping and buy whatever you needed. In fact, last Friday, when I picked [son] up from school, I had just gone shopping and offered to give [his teacher] some soya milk and whatever else she thought he'd need. I would have also gladly gone back to the store, as I mentioned to [the person buying the food] earlier in the day. In [my son's teacher]'s defense, she thought that it wasn't necessary and I assumed (stupidly, obviously) that also.

Part of the reason we decided to go with a small school is that we thought it would be easier to deal with his allergies there. There is more individual attention and therefore we assumed he would be more catered for and not feel so different. The problem is that, while you have been great about keeping him safe, I'm not happy with the way he's singled out for foods. In a larger school, I'm sure the same would happen, but there would be more of a chance there would be kids like him who couldn't eat this or that for whatever reason.

I'm not sure what exactly I want you to do about all of this, but just wanted to let you know my feelings. I had hoped that camp would quash the misgivings I have had. Obviously, that hasn't happened. Food allergies aren't rocket science; I'm sure you have the ability to deal with them, what seems to be lacking is the willingness.

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Anyway, I should have been more aggressive, obviously, but they were adament they had it all under control. There were things that luckily worked out -- my son got chocolate bananas becasuse luckily I stuck in some chocolate bars in his bag. Otherwise he would have had bananas... sheesh what's chocolate to a 5 year old? (And they are very PC.. no celebrating of holidays... give them someone who's actually different and all this "we accept and will accomodate everyone" goes out the window.)

Hmmm. I will not cut off my nose to spite my face. But by god, I will make them sweat. And no, I don't play games, if the other school is better, my son is there.

(not quite calmed down yet from the episode...)

JJ seems to me that unless people suffer from allergies themselves they seem to think they don't really exist. If they had to cope with the resulting illness and irritability they might think twice!!

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