Please can i ask you all about abortion :( really need some help.

[QueenofVenus]

Im 17 weeks, i have 3 other children, i have never had an abortion, but i met a guy last year, thought he was the one, hes not the father to my others, but he became very very abusive, and it escalated badly a couple of weeks ago, he physically attacked me in the car with my kids in the back, was very very scary. I ended it, kicked him out, he has now said he is going to make my life hell and he will have this baby and do what he wants when he wants im so scared, i want him out of my life forever. I so very very badly dont want an abortion, but i dont feel i have any choice. How long do i have to decide? How do i gp about arranging it? I just dont know anything at all.

He can pursue his rights through a DNA test, which he can get the courts to order if it comes down to that. However, if there's a history of police reports for assault, contact may be very limited. So the police report is important. The OP knows this man better than me -- don't know if he's likely to pursue this option or how much it might cost him, don't know if he will be completely caught up in abusing someone else and forget all about the baby.

oh - i really dont know what to say ,thinking of you and make the right decision for you and your kids.
whatever that may be
i would never judge xxx

Hello, have just read all posts, thanku all for taking the time. I called womens aid this morning, they put me in touch with Outreach in my area, and someone is calling me back in the next day or two. And yes, its true i dont want an abortion, but this child may have a man like that in her or his life, i have seen what his poor ds is like My poor dd only experienced one or two of his horrifying outbursts and she has been physically sick with stress. He is so quiet at the moment, the txts have stopped, the calls have stopped etc. He has one or two valuable items of property here still, and has made no attempt whatsoever to pick them up or arrange to have someone else pick them up. I should be pleased he's 'quiet' but im worried, its scares me. I cant live with this fear and worry, im so stressed, i cant sleep. What chance has this poor baby got with a man like him as a father. Would i not be doing him/her a favour by ending it. Its all so hard.

Glad to hear you called women's aid

Thinking of you, and remember if you have your baby he or she also has YOU in their lives and will be all the luckier for it.

scuse the poor grammar

If this was me , i would keep the baby and see if i could relocate to another area with help from the womans aid people ...not sure if this is an option for you x.. i really hope your ok this must be such a diffulcult time for u xx sending you lots of hugs and support

So glad you called Woman's Aid and I hope they are able to provide some support.

I would really recommend youposting on the relationship board about your fears and your worries. There are so many people there who have been through similar things, they will be able to help you.

How are you feeling?

Yes, it is his baby but it is your baby too.

If you feel you don't want this baby then that is one thing but if you want the baby, don't get rid because of him.

Report him to the police immediately.

Get an injunction so he can't come anywhere near you.

Don't put him on the birth certificate.

he would have no rights over the baby nor the right to even be on the birth certificate. Hope Womans Aid can help.

Yes, should have said what DM said. Keep him off the birth certificate, then it will be up to him to go to all the fuss and bother to pursue the baby.