Hi Looby, I'm afraid I understand what you're going through too. DD was born very quickly and I tore quite badly and had episiotomy. I was very very sore afterwards, sitting down hurt and I knew something was wrong despite midwife saying otherwise. After a month I got an infection and was given steroid cream, which didn't seem to help at all. At 6-week check doc agreed things were not right and said to come back at 3 months if things still not right. The infection did clear, but sex was very painful, so I did go back. Got referred back to hospital and went to see consultant who said stitching had not been done too well and scar had not healed properly and I'd need surgery.
Got a date for 8.5 months after the birth. The op itself was absolutely fine. Just day surgery (though under general), so only in for a few hours. Came round feeling no pain whatsoever, and felt completely fine and walked home with dh. Even did the housework that afternoon, I felt so well!
Had sex about 4 weeks later and was still not that great, but better than it had been. It has got better still, but there is still discomfort. I went back to consultant last month, for a check up 1 year post-op. Unfortunately he felt that another area still needs work, so I have got to go back in for another op in the next couple of months.
DD will be 2 in July, so it's upsetting this has dragged on so long. I am really worried about giving birth again, as we do plan to have more. Still, worse things happen, and in the great scheme of things this is not too bad a thing to have to go through.
Hope your experience is more positive than this! Let us know how you get on.