Continued support for SPHINCTER INJURIES, FISTULAE and other CHILDBIRTH INJURIES - the Ragged Bits Thread

[Jacksmama]

Hi all,
old thread here.

Cyee started this thread in May 2008 after her op, and it's been a haven of support for so many of us who have injuries to our bits from childbirth. Especially with respect to sphincter injuries, fistulae and incontinence after childbirth, there seems to be such a lack of support for women, and the entire subject seems to be taboo. It's as if most MD's think that "a certain amount of damage is to be expected after birth and you just have to live with it". Well, that is simply not the case - and this attitude is unacceptable.

There are all kinds of Ragged Bits stories on this thread. Be aware that THERE IS NO "TMI" HERE - this is the one place where you can spill it all. If you read through the old thread, which is nearly full, you'll see that someone, somewhere, has probably experienced it - whatever it is! So don't be embarrassed or ashamed... we'll tell our poo stories if you'll tell yours.

And also - there are success stories here. Several of us who have been through the medical mill have been successfully "repaired" and are "fully functional", so to speak or even expecting again. In those cases, please join us for Pervwatch - the "after action" report for anyone who is once again venturing into marital relations!

Welcome everyone. We're sorry you had to find us, but we're glad you're here.

Yes I feel the same about concerns for the future...hence my usual insommnia while my baby and husband sleep peacefully grrrrrrrrrrrr . I think once I know what the damage is then at least I will know what prognosis I have got and then you can deal with that, it's the not knowing that's the killer for me. It doesn't help that I keep being told different things by different consultants but I think I will stick with the London one as she's top of her field.

So have you had GP's appointments or consultants appointments or anything in the pipeline? I did get told by one consultant to try not to worry as they can do amazing things these days and it's rare that things cannot be fixed. I keep reminding myself of that conversation as a thread of hope...though she was the gynae and not the colo-rectal consultant any bit of hope is good!!! :)

I only found out that I may have a prolapse last week when I went to Physio. She couldn't physically examine me as I also have thrush. I also have quite painful piles (although that could also be some other damage to my rear end).

I am seeing her again on 27th march and have a consultant follow up appointment at the end of April. I can't wait that long so am seeing GP tomorrow to push for a sooner appointment.

I saw the consultant six weeks after the birth but he didn't look at me (down below) - just asked me some questions.

So far I've been told what I'm feeling is "normal" after a third degree tear.

I'm considering seeing a prolapse specialist privately - and getting her to thoroughly examine me - so I know wtf is actually wrong or whether this is alm just part of the process.

My fanjo looks (and feels) open though so I do think there's some kind of prolapse.

Yes I'd push to do anything privately if you can. I know private hospitals still employ human beings who can make mistakes but I have been so scarred by the NHS that I am hoping to find things better in the private sector through my solicitor. I am afraid I have no experience of a 3rd degree tear really since mine is a 4th degree, nor do I have a prolapse so sorry I can't really offer any help! I hope your GP can help, my GP has been absolutely fantastic and so supportive and if nothing else it's nice to have her to turn to.

I hope it goes well tomorrow. I am going away tomorrow til next week so I might not get a chance to look at this thread until then but good luck x

Hi Ladies,
So sorry you've had such an awful time . I am a bit of a lurker on this thread - much more active on the rectocle and repairs thread that's also in general health.

Hairytale - if you are in London I can recommend my WONDERFUL specialist urogynae surgeon who is putting me back together (cystocele, uterine prolapse, rectocele, ripped pelvic floor, scar tissue build up). His name is Vik Khullar - he's at the specialist tertiary centre at St Mary's on the NHS and practices in Harley Street privately. He's brilliant is and a lovely, lovely man.

Go private ladies, i did, and didnt have to wait/ see consultants doctors etc. My care in hospital was second to none, Nuffield, I was looked after very well and the follow up care was great. The consultant knew exactly what i was talking about and listened to my concerns etc....instead of just saying 'things are never the same down their after birth' (with regards to front).

I'm in Wales - we don't get patient choice here. I'm seeing GP at half three. Have managed to get an earlier appt at hosp for 30th march.

He thinks I have a mild prolapse, scar tissue still healing (inside) and an infection. Has given me some more anti biotics and some local anaesthetic cream for my botty. If not better in a few days I need to go back.

Hi all not be on for a while how is everyone doin? I was wondering if the op had her colostomy bag yet and yes im still waiting for mine so no more news really.

I'm having a really bad day. I've had really bad pain and some loose poo and a lot of pain (is even painful using the suppository anaesthetic which I've now nearly run out of and am panicking about).

I am just so upset - I feel like a freak - like I am Frankenstein down below. I don't know why I am suddenly in the last week or so experiencing bottom pain :(

Hi all. Haven't posted for a while. Am 3 weeks post op for anterior sphincter repair and rectovaginal fistula. I have to say that the surgery itself hasn't been too bad and i was amazed that I didn't have more pain while I was in hospital. Have unfortunately picked up an infection in the last week which has been agony but getting on top of that and really hoping (along with the consultant) that it hasn't damaged the repair. Am dealing with the temporary ileostomy - stiff upper lip and all that. To everyone out there who is living with the hideous repercussions of crap midwifery and obstetrics, don't be scared by the follow up surgery. It really is nothing compared to what we have all been through already - I could sit upright 12 hours after surgery. It took 2 weeks after giving birth! Hope you are all OK. Will keep you posted of the progress.

Just popping in to say hello, have skimmed to catch up - ((((HUGS)))) and and to all of you waiting for surgery and/or recovering from surgery.

I've recently felt a little disturbance in the force downstairs (so to speak - sorry all, I live with a Star Wars freak) - I tried to go for a run and felt like my insides were falling out. And had the same feeling when sneezing. And when I try to feel for it, I think my cervix is right there. I am going to book an appointment with the pelvic floor physio I saw after I had DS, four years ago. She'll give me some straight answers.

But FFS - I've had two repair ops. Just the thought of something else makes me want to weep.

Anyway - not to borrow trouble.

Please update, everyone - I'll try to check in more often.

Crap. I wanted the emoticon to give everyone flowers but posted instead.

Here, flowers for everyone:

Hi Jacks - very occasional poster and long term lurker here (gave birth to DC1 18 months ago: rectocele, cystocele, uterine prolapse, detached pelvic floor, displaced coccyx; one operation down and one to go). Just wanted to offer support (excuse the pun!) after your recent 'discovery'. It's such an awful shock combined with a feeling of 'her we go again' when this kind of thing happens. A similar thing was happening to me, although this was before any of my repairs - I'd go for a run and my cervix would descend all the way down. Does yours go back up after a while to a 'normal' place, or does it feel too low most of the time? I think seeing the physio again is a good first step, but can you go back and see the surgeon who did the repairs as well? Pouring you a big . XX

Hi CG - thanks
Going to see the physio tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

Good luck!!

So, saw pelvic floor physio yesterday. Good thing she's an utterly lovely woman, just as lovely as she was four years ago when I last saw her. I say "good thing" because I wouldn't even let DH do some of the things I calmly allowed her to do :o
Her verdict is that I have what's called a Grade 2 vertical prolapse, which is due to pelvic floor weakness, and should be correctable with pelvic floor exercises. She also said my bladder and rectum bulge into the front and back wall of my vagina when I cough. Again, hopefully correctable with PFEs.
So. I need someone to kick my butt so I make time every day to do my PFEs. Then I have to see her again in 2-3 weeks.

How's everyone else?

Hello everyone - this is a really helpful thread.

I am coming up to 6 weeks postpartum. Had a forceps delivery and third degree tear which has struggled to heal. So I'm on my third lot of antibiotics. I'm also struggling to poo and I leak small amounts of urine if I don't remember to go.

I know it's early days but it's been getting me down. Especially because I can't walk very much or leave the house very often. And I love walking - I take guided walks which I'm not sure I'll be able to do during the summer. :(

I've not taken a mirror to look at my undercarriage but have noticed my lady bits have been rearranged.

I wish I'd known more about this before I gave birth. I was thinking about my experience of labour (which really wasn't awful) and wonder why we sign consent forms after hours of labour when we have often taken drugs and are knackered. I don't know what I signed but I signed it as I wanted my child delivered alive.

Hi Biddylee, (small name-change here, I'm the OP, should still be recognizable though :)) - I'm sorry you had to go through that. I really do feel your pain. :(
At six weeks I wouldn't have had the courage to check things out down below, either - but don't leave it too long, if something isn't healing right, have it looked at sooner rather than later.
A third degree tear is tough to recover from. Plus, forceps often bruise and temporarily damage the pudendal nerve which partially supplies sensation to your bladder (among other things). And then the pelvic floor takes a beating, too. Have you got a pelvic floor physio you could go see? Is your GP sympathetic or is he/she a bit crap?
I went through that same not-wanting-to-leave-the-house thing. And no-one I knew had gone through anything remotely similar. It feels very alone, doesn't it.
Keep talking to us here. The thread moves slowly at times - it's obviously not a fun chat thread, but most of us check at least every day.
(((((((HUGS))))))

Hi all, just wondering if I could ask for your opinions. I'm in a complete quandary over whether to push for an ELCS or go for natural birth - I'm 36 weeks into second pregnancy with a moderate cystocele after birth of DS 20 months ago. I'm quite worried about pushing another baby out. First birth was an attempted home birth that ended in transfer to hospital after pushing for two hours. I was then made to push for another hour in hospital. No tearing luckily, just the prolapse which has been fairly stable since it was diagnosed about 4 months after last birth, even now I don't feel it is much worse as I've been extremely careful not to lift etc and haven't spent much time on my feet this pregnancy as I also have terrible lower back pain when I do.

Up until recently I've wanted to go through with a natural birth second time in the belief that it is pregnancy that would do any further damage rather than the birth. Think I've also been a bit over optimistic in the assumption that this second birth will be easier as the ?way is clear? so to speak ? what if the baby gets too big/ has a funny presentation / comes out with one arm above its head?
I?ve also read that the damage to the pelvic floor that occurs in pregnancy mainly happens in the very final weeks, as the baby?s head descends. So by having an ELCS I would be avoiding this stage.

Wondering whether I'd be silly to risk what I have left in tact by going for another vaginal birth - I am fairly symptom-free as it is and would really like to stay this way and preserve what I have left. Should I be pushing for a C section? I think I may just about have time, but need to act fast I know..

Many thanks in advance for your advice

Hello Lady - I can only tell you what I would do, which is go for ELCS. But I'll be the first to admit that I'm probably not the most unbiased person out there. Could you make an appointment and speak with a consultant, planning to push for ELCS - if anything they say changes your mind, it's easier to pull back from a planned section than it would be to push for one at the last minute, if that makes sense.

Hi CaptainJack

I had my 6 weeks appointment yesterday with my GP. She said the interior seems to have healed but the exterior is slow in healing. She is sympathetic but I suppose it's how the healing progresses and if it presents any problems.

I will be off to the hospital on Tuesday for checks and will be seeing a physio in May - though that feels a long way off. I have small leaks form my bladder and bad constipation at the moment. I just can't get anything out. Any recommendations of an over the counter treatment? I have stool softeners but they don't seem to have much noticeable impact. Also tried prune juice -which seems to have some impact. And also the senna tablets but again not sure what they are doing.

Had two different lots of diarrhea the other week so can't seem to win and it make sense why it's struggling to heal.

:)

Lady, I found dried apricots the world's best stool softener. Next to magnesium glycinate, that is, if you can get it. They sell it on Amazon. One 1000 mg capsule at night (two if desperate) - relief in the morning!

Sorry, I meant Biddylee, not Lady!

Lady I haven't been on here for a while but I chose vaginal birth with existing sphincter injuries (unprepared 3rd degree tear, incontinence etc). & it was fine but a gamble. I was pushed towards CS by the hospital but found an independent MW and had dd2 at home.

Can you speak to an IM about what they'd recommend?

How do you feel about CS? What's putting you off?

Hi Jack!

bookmarjs to reply to biddy

Battery too low right now.