Started smoking again!!

[smokingagain]

Hi everyone

I have been feeling very stressed for a while now and fed up about everything. I have had this nagging desire to go out and buy cigarettes for a few weeks and yesterday I did!

I had one last night and it felt so good, i've had 3 today. Is it much much worse to smoke than to be stressed?

At the moment it is my big dark secret as dh doesn't smoke and never has and he would be very disappointed.

What do you think?

I dont think keeping it a secret is a good idea as then it becomes a bit like it was when you were 14 and hiding it from your parents. Having a fag doesnt take the stress out of life really, you just think it does....so says non-smoker on Day 51. Good Luck on whatever you decide. Oh and remember that smoking really isnt good for your health!

I think it's a real shame and you should stop again if you can. You CAN stop, since you've already done it once, but you shouldn't let this lapse damage your resolve. You might think the cigarette relieves your stress, but it doesn't, not really. So if you're looking for someone to tell you 'yeah, go on, smoke, better to smoke than be stressed' you haven't found her in me! However stressed you are the stress is highly unlikely to be as damaging to your health as smoking. Life is just as stressful as it was before you lit up, with the added stress that if you carry on you'll be a smoker again. Presumably you didn't want to be a smoker which is why you gave up in the first place? I do know how hard it is, honestly - I was smoking on and off for 19 years (frightens me to even see that written down) and I've found it hard this time, despite being pregnant. But I have done it and I'm not going back to it. Anyway, probably not what you wanted to hear, but you did ask! Good luck and sympathy.

Thanks for replying. Not sure what I was hoping to hear really, but I didn't expect people to tell me that smoking was ok.

I gave up smoking when I found out I was pregnant in March 1997 and haven't smoked since then. I've always felt quite proud that I didn't start smoking again after I'd had the baby when so many other people do.

You are right that it hasn't altered my stress, but it does make me relax. I'm not sure if that is because I have to sneak off on my own and that I can't do anything else while I'm doing it.

I was hoping that when I first had a puff it would be revolting, but it was like I'd never stopped.

Smkingagain - I gave up when expecting dd. I was often very tempted to start up again especially when stressed. I just kept thinking about being a smoking mum and the effect that would have on dd - the smell etc. This worked for me and now 3 yrs on I have got it out of my system. Give up for your own health and also for your kids

I went back to it 'in secret', twice. Who was I kidding, dh knew immediately but didn't say anything initially. Eventually he challenged me over it and I lied which led to allsorts of problems with our marriage.

So, IMHO, smoke if that's what you want to do but don't be a secret squirrel. But 3 will become 20 by the end of the week and you'll have fallen off the wagon and will be a smoker again.

smokingagain- sympathies. I know how difficult it is to give up and stay given up and I too am most drawn to smoking when stressed- though I liked it at any time really! I think only you can decide whether you think it's better to smoke than be stressed or if there are other ways you can fight/cope with stress. It does sound from your posts like you have some reservations though, especially if you're unwilling to admit your smoking to your husband. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

Sorry that came out harsher than I intended, it is bl**dy hard to stop and stay stopped; but nicotine is really good at making the brain kid itself that everything is OK.

Me too smokingagain. I do know what it's like, sorry if I sounded harsh.

You didn't sound harsh at all, either of you. Thanks for being honest with me. I'm probably looking for someone to talk me out of it, so you are helping.

smokingagain - such an easy trap to fall into isn't it? Stop now, before it gets a bigger grip again. Think of all the reasons why you stopped the first time. They all still apply.

At least your partner doesn't smoke. Tell him and enlist his support in stopping.

Anyway all this good advice is pretty hypocritical. My DP smokes, and I have real probs constantly resisting Mr Nic's advances. Have been having 1-2 each night for the last year, and feel SO bloody stupid, but somehow just can't let them go... Ridiculous, huh?

You stopped for nearly 6 years !!! Gosh, I have stopped for about 4 years and hate to think that I could start again.

I went out with a couple of old friends that I never see a year or so ago - I knew that we would get very drunk and that I would probably smoke. So I just gave in and smoked well over 20 in one evening.

Though I enjoyed it I didn't really want to start again - I just went back to being a non smoker. Can you look at it that way ?

You are still a non smoker.

smokingagain - can I say my SIL did the same as you. When she first started smoking again she was secretive but we all knew she was doing it because frankly you could smell. A few cigs led to her smoking openly in the end. Her toddler son also stank of cigarettes even though she said she did not smoke in his presence.
My 16 year old son comes home stinking when he has been at his friend's, whose mum smokes. He is disgusted by smoking so hates smelling like that.
So hold that thought - you do not want to start smelling like an ashtray do you? Chuck the rest of them out. Take up some other passtime to relieve your stress.