"Suffering from Stress" ........ No! ..... Not me!

crystaltips · 2003-04-28T15:41:59+00:00

I have just been told by my Doctor that I am suffering from stress. Truthfully I know that he is right as I have all the symptoms : * Trouble sleeping * Comfort eating * Mood swings It goes on... Now I have been "labelled" I am finding it hard to come to terms with. I have had a great deal on my plate for the past 3-4 years but have tried to convince myself that I am coping. I am highly organised and a total control freak and therefore find it hard to ask for help. The GP offered Prozac but my gut feeling says no. Can any of you offer some alternative Stress Busting advice please. Thanks

kaz33 · 28/04/2003 16:48

Exercise - get those endormphins going, youre feel better. Doesn't have to be mind numblingly boring gym work. I used to walk to work, great now the days are getting longer.

New project/ interest is always a good one.

Saying that all these things are dependent on that thing - time. But if you arrange it you can always find time for yourself.

SamboM · 28/04/2003 17:05

I can thoroughly recommend TM (Transcendental Meditation), NOT as madly hippyish as the name might imply! I've been doing it since I was 15 (dragged along to a course by my Dad who then gave it up after about a month, I kept going!). You only need 20 mins a day really and it helps enormously with stress and tiredness and stops you feeling so "fuzzy".

www.t-m.org.uk/

is the website.

Other recommendation is at least half a bottle of nice red wine a night...

Original poster

crystaltips · 28/04/2003 18:11

kaz33 - I know that I should be exercising. I used to go to the gym three times a week - but for the few months I just cannot be bothered. Too much effort. Somehow - I have to get myself out of this cycle - but I just don't have the energy. Catch 22 I s'pose !!

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GeorginaA · 28/04/2003 19:14

T'ai Chi is supposed to be very good for stress. Have only just started it myself (literally - just got a DVD on it today!) so I can't give any major endorsements, but I did feel more relaxed after the first session

layla · 29/04/2003 14:04

Sympathies Crystaltips,it might be good to have a consultation with a qualified stress management person.I used to know a nice one down Devon way some years ago.Maybe expensive though.I can't really add to these suggestions except maybe a self help book?

layla · 29/04/2003 14:05

Ooh,you could try e mailing the Barefoot Doctor,I read somewhere that he advises.

Original poster

crystaltips · 29/04/2003 14:25

layla - Who is the Barefoot Doctor ??? I am totally in the dark !

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kaz33 · 29/04/2003 14:31

Barefoot doctor is a man who has written a few books about holistic self help / stress busting. I have one of his books which has lots of stuff about meditation, visualisation - lots of eastern style philosophy. Personally, I don't get on with it - I come from the philosophy that a good walk or an evening out with mates getting bladdered is a more effective release.

What I do like is Stoicism - basically the philosophy that we should not worry about things that we cannot control ie: if the car breaks down as there is nothing you should not worry about it. Only put your energies into things within our control. Get yourself a book of quotes of Marcus Aurelius - great little thoughts for the day !

layla · 29/04/2003 15:17

Who is Marcus Aurelius?Now I'm in the dark.Have just checked out his website for you,Barefoot Doc that is.It's slightly wacky,I wouldn't let that put you off though.You can e mail him,I think on the bottom of the menu link it links you to it.Anyway,sorry for the rushed message,haven't time to do a link or post anymore at mo.

kaz33 · 29/04/2003 16:09

Marcus Aurelius - bit obscure really, Greek or Roman ( can't remember which ) philosopher. Suprisingly relevant - the issues that we have today haven't changed that much.

Meanmum · 29/04/2003 16:22

Stress is a very hard to come to terms with and a lot of people who suffer from it are generally people who try to be self reliant. Therefore, they find it quite difficult to admit to suffering from stress as generally it is perceived to be a failing on behalf of that person. Society makes us feel like we must cope.

My advice, always easier said than done, is to not see the fact you have stress as a failing on your behalf. It's not. What you may find is that the first few weeks you will feel guilty for not being able to cope and feel like you are letting people down. You need to understand in your own mind that it is not a failing and you are not letting people down by having stress. It can be a very serious problem especially if you don't receive help when you need it.

Hopefully you will move on from these feelings to understanding that it is acceptable to have stress and from that point you will then be open to finding ways of dealing with it. Stress will never disappear it is a matter of you learning how to deal with it when it arises in your life.

Personally, swimming always helped me deal with my stress as it gave me time alone to think through the events of the day gone and what I had to do for the day coming up. I don't swim nearly as much as I used to (not at all at the moment) and am just looking at ways of rectifying this.

There is so much more I could say but I won't monopolise this thread. I am thinking of you though and happy to talk whenever you need to.

Meanmum · 29/04/2003 16:23

Stress is a very hard to come to terms with and a lot of people who suffer from it are generally people who try to be self reliant. Therefore, they find it quite difficult to admit to suffering from stress as generally it is perceived to be a failing on behalf of that person. Society makes us feel like we must cope.

My advice, always easier said than done, is to not see the fact you have stress as a failing on your behalf. It's not. What you may find is that the first few weeks you will feel guilty for not being able to cope and feel like you are letting people down. You need to understand in your own mind that it is not a failing and you are not letting people down by having stress. It can be a very serious problem especially if you don't receive help when you need it.

Hopefully you will move on from these feelings to understanding that it is acceptable to have stress and from that point you will then be open to finding ways of dealing with it. Stress will never disappear it is a matter of you learning how to deal with it when it arises in your life.

Personally, swimming always helped me deal with my stress as it gave me time alone to think through the events of the day gone and what I had to do for the day coming up. I don't swim nearly as much as I used to (not at all at the moment) and am just looking at ways of rectifying this.

There is so much more I could say but I won't monopolise this thread. I am thinking of you though and happy to talk whenever you need to.

Original poster

crystaltips · 29/04/2003 16:31

Please please feel free to "monopolise" as you call it. I need as much support as I can get at the minute. You have just summed me up exactly as someone who thinks they are letting the side down by having too much stress than they can cope with.
After all we are ALL busy mums/to be and that in itself is stressful - it goes with the territory doesn't it - and for me to be beaten by it annoys me beyond belief!!

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Meanmum · 29/04/2003 16:49

Chrystaltips - I've just asked mumsnet to send you an email with my details on it. But, in the meantime I'll go on to say I'm not a doctor and I don't know how bad your stress is but I would try to stay away from the drugs if you can. I suppose you need to ask yourself the question about how bad is your stress and whether you feel your doctor is doing the right thing for you by prescribing the drugs he/she has. You may need them in the short term but not the long term.

I think your note on mumsnet shows that you are already looking at alternatives to handling stress other than drugs and this is a positive. I'm sure you will get a lot of advice which you will be able to look into and decide on what is appropriate for you.

Unfortunately you are the only person that can reconcile yourself to the fact that you are not failing anyone else, nor yourself by having stress. Others can support you, show they care, and help carry the burden but until you realise you have an illness that YOU need to get better from this won't help. I think it is the hardest part of recovering from stress but once you let go of the feelings of inadequacy, failure and weakness your recovery will commence.

You are not inadequate, you are not a failure and you are not weak.

I know we don't know each other but I am sure you cope exceptionally well with all life throws at you.

Stress is your body's way of showing you that it needs a break otherwise something even more serious/life threatening may occur. Listen to the signs your body is giving you and work with your body to overcome this.

Meanmum · 29/04/2003 16:51

A quick note. I don't feel I am expressing myself well as this is something I am very passionate about.

Meanmum · 30/04/2003 13:33

Crystaltips - how are you feeling today. Bit worried about you and want to know you are OK.

Original poster

crystaltips · 30/04/2003 18:00

Thanks Meanmum - I'm doing OK - I have sent you a rather heafty e-mail !
Thanks for that

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