I'm wondering if I might have Aspergers

[knotswapper]

I work in a specialised part of IT (cue much gavel slamming on diagnosis) - I am the only girl in a group of 30+.

I am completely rubbish at talking to people and in conversation have to remind myself to make eye contact and "make small talk", which I can never do - I can with a bunch of IT boys talking about gadgets, that's easy. Not about feelings or what people should do/offer advice to a broken hearted friend.

I love DD more than anything, but I have to remind myself to do hugs - we do lots of other things together, and tickling games, but I don't ever spontaneously hug - I have to remember.

(I do all the time, so she gets lots of hugs and kisses).

I am great with playing games with her, we do lots of things together, but as I get older I realise that more and more I need to follow rules, It was easy when she was a baby/toddler/pre-schooler, but now she's at school and becoming her own person I can feel myself floundering a bit.

Do you think I'm a bit Aspergers, or just somebody who needs to work on their social skills a bit?

Normal - Apergers - Autism - it's all a continuum (or normal distribution if you're familiar with the term).

the fact that you recognise that you may have some issues suggests that you are most definitely on the close to normal end.

If a label helps - then take it. If not then don't. Either way then work on the social skilss and give lots of love to DD. All you can do is your best.

Thanks for answering Dophus, and yes, I am used to normal distribution. I like maths .

I don't know if I want a label tbh - it's a double edged sword. Right now I'm doing just fine being a slighty odd girl with a slightly odd career choice. I cope well with engineering and stand my ground with the men.

If I get a label I might change my behaviour and I don't want that. I'm doing ok.

It's just always baffled me that I'm so rubbish at talking to people! I'd love to just sit and relax and chat. And of course, I want to be the best possible parent to DD.

I'm a scientist so also work in a male world. You can analytical and not an extravert without having Aspergers.

Just stay within your comfort zone and don't try to be someone you're not. However if your social inhibition is shyness and/or low self-esteem then this is something you can work on.

Howeevr if you are happy the way you are then don't try to change.

"Just stay within your comfort zone and don't try to be someone you're not. However if your social inhibition is shyness and/or low self-esteem then this is something you can work on."

Really agree with this. I think my brother has AS and my Mum was always trying to change him when we were teenagers years ago... IT drove me mad. He achieved an unbelievable amoutn of success in a short time (academically that is) and he has a very kind heart and is so loyal and generous to family. He isn't a party planner type though. And he was hopeless at small talk.

Having a great job and loads of money HAS given ihm the confidence boost he needed. Instead of being surrounded by school assholes who thought he was a geek, he now goes into work and has the friendship with more like-minded colleagues. He set about learning how to be sociable a few years back, in his typically obsessive way. He ordered about 5 books over the internet and read them, and took it all on board!!!

My son is on the spectrum too. He has a dx though.

I think you should discuss it weith your gp

Hun, i am there with you. I am in exactly the same situ but find that i don't do relationships as can't handle people in my emotional space -I use logic and rationalisation to process any situation which involve emotion. I avoid all social situations but have found making an effort so that DC had suitable exposure to social environments whilst at young age helped a bit but will admit to constantly having a size 5 boot that regularly gets put in it.

Put found that I adore programming and that male logic makes far more sense to me than girl logic (i just don't get the best buddy stuff/hangout together stuff my ex was more of a girl than me ) Found when looking into behavioural issue for dc found that more of it applied to me than dc. Know and ADHD which prob doesn't help. My advice - just keep making the effort to remember. Whether it is spontaneous or not as long as the love in unconditional it all that matters.

oh good grief - please forgive spelling am also dyslexic and it seems to be an off day!