Abstaining from alcohol for a month. Anyone care to join me?

[gibbberish]

Have decided to have NO alcohol for 30 days for the following reasons:

It has become too much of a habit to have a drink in the evening

I haven't been sleeping properly and I know I sleep better if I haven't had a glass (or four) of wine

I am feeling exhausted throughout the day and look like a hundred years old due to not sleeping properly

It's too flaming expensive

I am keen to be healthier

I want to lose weight for the summer

So this is it. Commitment time. Day 1.

Is there anyone out there who wishes to do the same?

I have a lot of near-alcoholics in my family, so I am very aware of the slippery slope. My dad drinks hardly anything and is incredibly sociable, loves people full of beans so I know it is not essential for having a good time. Whereas my brothers do have a problem - as they associate relaxing entirely with alcohol. I think they are dependent. My mum is fine but I think uses it to lighten her mood, self medicate, when she possibly might need to sort out the real reasons for her stress.

Enough of this lecture, just really pondering how I feel about the stuff - ie: want to be more like my dad, and less like my brothers...
I suppose I just want to enjoy drinking and not feel it is an essential FIX.

That's interesting swan. Good that you can see where there might be a problem before it arises.

My mum doesn't drink atall. Is very against it as her dad was a drinker, albeit a very good natured one. But used to drink what little money they had away and she remembers her mum really struggling to feed them So she understandably has issues with alcohol.

My dad drinks VERY rarely but doesn't mind others having one.

My brother and youngest sister like to drink but don't go overboard. My younger sister doesn't drink atall, just doesn't like it. But my older sister drinks far, far too much. She can't go out and 'have a good time' without getting very drunk. She drinks in the house on her own all the time. It's very to see it. She does have a real problem but won't see it. I don't want to get to that stage and don't want to feel that I have to drink to be comfortable socially.

This seems relevant though I don't want anyone to feel I'm judging them - I'm only talking about me.

I am an alcoholic and I do not drink. At all.

However, I have NEVER made the decision that "I will never drink again." Just making that decision would make me change my mind, I think.

Instead, each day, I decide that, for that day, I will do my best not to drink. At the end of the day, I try to feel grateful for a sober day. Then I go to bed and, because it's been a better day than it would have been with a drink in it, I plan to do the same tomorrow.

This has worked for me now for over six years - ie I have six years of continuous sobriety with not a single alcoholic beverage (or, for that matter, any "low-alcohol" or "non-alcoholic" beers or wines.)

Just wanted to mention that in case there is anyone here who does want to stop but is seeing it in the stark terms of "taking a pledge". Not for me. I have the help and support of like-minded individuals and I do it one day at a time.

Thanks for the MIFLAW. That's very honest and extremely helpful.

It's interesting that my friend, who is an alcoholic who has not had a drink for 5 months, said exactly the same thing. She doesn't say 'never ever' just takes each day as it comes.

I think that once I am completely comfortable not having a drink through the week, and get to the stage where I don't even think about it, then I know it will be under control. I will continue to have a drink at the weekend as long as I can stick to one or two. Does that sound sensible?

Gibberish

It sounds perfectly sensible.

However, if someone has a drink problem (and I'm not saying you do, I'm talking generally) then I'm afraid sensible doesn't come into it. Your friend (is she in AA by the way?) will probably bear this out. I used to have lots of "sensible" ideas about drinking. They were workable, logical, watertight. Sadly, I would then completely fail to stick to them once the first drink was in me.

In other words, sensible can be a bit of a red herring and only the individual concerned will know whether this is the case for him or her.

Sorry - that's probably not the answer you wanted ...

Don't apologise. Thanks for being so honest about this. It certainly gives me something to think about.

You are right. If sensible was the answer I would be 8 stone because I KNOW how to eat sensibly lol. I guess it's the same with drinking. Knowing and doing are two different things. I'll just have to do as you say and take it a day at a time, and see how it goes from there.

Thanks again. I have great admiration for you.

No need to admire me - I didn't do it alone.

I'm obviously being very circumspect here because I don't know how you view your own drinking.

All I can say is what I've said elsewhere on this site:

my life was miserable because of drinking
I went to AA because i didn't have any better ideas
I followed simple suggestions and kept it very practical
it worked for me
I'm a very satisfied customer
I still attend because i still don't have any better ideas!
the worst days now are better than the worst days then

I hope that you achieve what's right for you too.

S

Thanks for that. Very balanced viewpoint.

Not sure how I view my drinking tbh. Really just started this because felt it was getting too much of a habit and I don't LIKE being enslaved to bad habits.

I feel so much better without it now that I would like to continue feeling like this.

But then again I would like to sit in the garden and have a glass occasionally. That is what I am aiming for I think. To be able to take it or leave it. Time will tell if that is possible.

Was out at a party last night and had not a drop Arranged to pick up people and be the designated driver so that solved any temptation problems. Actually, never missed it atall and had a great time! Didn't bother me in the slightest that others were having a drink. A Good Sign methinks.

Okay everyone, what are you all up to this weekend? I know a few are allowing yourselves to have a drink at the w/e. Hope you enjoy it but don't overdo it

Gibbberish, hope sunny weekend was fab for you, in your new/usual colours too.

Meanwhile, I have taken one small wine glass of Italian bottled beer after ds2's party, thinking it would make me feel wonderful, (and tht I deserved it) but ACTUALLY, just made me woozy. With no desire for a second glass .

Could I have detoxified to extent that I can no longer drink at all?

Anyway tis all to the good, am really enjoying all the other soft fizzy things like shloer and special sicilian lemonade.
So nothing more till next Sat, if then.

Hello ladeez. Have been away for the week and so am v impressed to see how well everyone has been getting on.

Unfortunately I have been completely pathetic away from the watchful eye of Mumsnet and under the wayward influence of DP. So have indulged on my holiday and my wrinkles are very wrinkly.

I have however been doing lots of healthy walking fresh air etc etc.

Given my bad slippage - have decided to revert to Day 1 again starting from tomorrow. This seems a bit crap, especially as you have all been doing so well.

I can see a lot of discussion has gone on about various attitudes to alcohol. I view the whole thing as a bit of a habit that, since have had DCs, have decided is less acceptable - just feel the need to stay healthy.

Still abstaining here. Mild desire for alcohol, I think to mark "evening and dc free time" but managing to survive without it.
How is everyone else feeling?

I'm doing well after holiday lapse. Find it much easier when at home and not in holiday mode. Everyone has gone rather quiet on this - are they down the pub?

I think I know what you mean about the 'holiday lapse'! It's much easier not to drink when you are in a regular routine. Dh and I are trying to cut down as it's so awful these days having a hangover. Last night I felt quite pissed on one glass (small) of wine, and didn't drink any more. After that the moment was gone and I read my book instead and started another one.

I find my drinking depends a lot on what I have to do. If I have to wake up with a clear head and have decisions to make, I don't drink at all. I think it is a frame of mind.

Totally agree with you about frame of mind PP. That's why I never find it an issue if I have to drive. I know I can't so I don't even think about it.

Hello!

Sorry for going AWOL. Work Mondays and Tuesdays so never find the time to get on until a Wednesday!

Still going fine here and feeling brill. No vino since I can't remember when! Very pleased

Speaking to my friend last night. She has gone, not for five months without a drop as previously though, but NINE months

Absolutely brilliant. So pleased to see you are all doing well 12 days or thereabouts to go... has flown by

Had my small "weekend" glass of pink wine last night, so that's it for the week.
Feel fine. Could feel myself wanting two glasses so diluted the end of the first with lots of water to make it last longer!
Then no more, so think I hve cracked the single drink policy.
Still, nothing for the rest of the week

Still abstaining here.

Being pathetic here. Hate myself

Hope you are alright Elenor.
Had another (single) glass of pink last night with dh.
Oh dear, suddenly running out of abstaining zeal. But then felt completely high, and couldn't sleep for ages, so it was not really a good idea.
How are you Gibbberish, and other ladies?

Bumping this for Cistus
and still abstaining till Sat (one glass)

Yes the month is up, and I've realised I really do not need to drink at all often, and then usually keeping it to half a glass.
Drank half glass of red last night and stopped very firmly.

Well done! It's good to know that less than a glass is quite enough to feel that buzz and lightheadedness. For me, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I've been thinking a lot about triggers for drinking too much. My father will almost inject you, and my parents' house has always been a party house, awash with alcohol. Anyway, that's their house. It's a new way of doing things when you are expected to entertain without alcohol, or there comes a time in the evening with friends when it would be nice to have a drink (is that boredom or tiredness, I wonder?)

How not to feel the pressure from self to do what you've always done, to break the mould, and to recognise that all the fun comes in the first glass or 2.

It is still quite a conscious decision not to have a drink every evening, that pivotal part of meal has been ever so politely shiftedt one side by dh and I. He is drnking much less too.
But I am now able to have a glass every few days without it triggering any addictive pattern. Usually I don't really want one, but sometimes it feels like a tonic, almost medicinal. Perhaps the answer is to buy some grape juice - that would do the trick without the alcohol.
So I wouldn't say I'm abstaining any longer but drnkng very very lttle.
(sorry i key has been broken by dd..)

oh gosh id have joined you for all the reasons the OP stated...

ive just done 3 days without a glass of wine...ive allowed myself some tonight and will tomorrow but ive stopped buying boxes and will get one bottle per week to enjoy at hte weekend!

i was getting really worried that i was dependant on a tipple but ive done 3 days without with no trouble so im a bit happier to allow myself a couple of nights off!

now im waiting for the weight to start coming off! no luck so far!