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Swine flu: the movie. AKA "OINK!"

6 replies

OrmIrian · 06/05/2009 21:48

UK. 2009. Autumn.

The first wave of swine flu has left the population largely unscathed. It affected a few pockets but it was mostly harmless, raised temperature, sneezing, sore throats, aches and pains. But now, 6 months later, it's back and this time it's a real swine. The symptoms are worrying All over the UK as the normal symptoms of flu recede, people are developing new, previously unheard of aftereffect. Hard growths on their feet and hands bearing an alarming resemblance to trotters. They are getting hairier. Their noses are becoming flatter and damper. They develop a liking for rootling in allotments. And eating leftovers. Only those who caught the first wave of infection are now immune. They are the new still-human minority. They have to face a future of endless snorted conversations over the breakfast table, pig swill at every meal, the scent of pig sh*t always in the air and ....no bacon ever again

OP posts:
PurpleOne · 07/05/2009 01:21

They all came out in rashers and died....

steviesgirl · 07/05/2009 01:27

Lol!!

solidgoldSneezeLikeApig · 07/05/2009 01:34

It will, of course, star Kevin Bacon...

(oooh, thanks for starting this thread when everyone's asleep so I get to be the first with that joke)

And he is a werepig.

OrmIrian · 07/05/2009 07:41

OMG! Were-pigs! That's brilliant SGB. Adds a whole new dimension.

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 07/05/2009 10:34

In fact I suspect DH may be a were-pig. Judging by the mess in the kitchen when i get downstairs some morning. When he has had a late night rootle in the cupboards after a few beers....

Perhaps the swine are already amongst us!

OP posts:
solidgoldSneezeLikeApig · 07/05/2009 16:14

My mate used to have a list of celebrity werepigs (ie people who have that nose thing, like, er, Kevin Bacon). But I can;t remember any of the others now.

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