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Original poster

****PLEASE PLEASE HELP - breast-feeding a toddler has suddenly become painful!! <wails> (Me, not the toddler...)

31 replies

Jacksmama · 03/05/2009 19:16

Also posted this in Breast and Bottle Feeding but had only one response [loser emoticon] - please, someone, anyone...

My 14 1/2 month old milk monster cut his bottom teeth at 5 1/2 months, and top teeth a few months later. No problems BFing at all. He was pretty much exclusively breast-fed until 11, 12 months (can't remember now) and then started to experiment with bits of food. He now has four full top teeth, and the top canines and first molars are halfway down. He has three (yes, only three, LOL) teeth on the bottom but the molars look like they'll be cutting through soon.

In the last week, BFing has started to hurt, and I've occasionally seen tooth marks around the nipple (not biting-type tooth marks but pressure-type). What do I need to be doing differently about his latch or position? Today I've started to show him a big open mouth before he latches on, and take him off if it's sore, but what else can I do?

PLease help, I am not going to wean him because of this, so please don't tell me 14 months is enough - I would be devastated and so would he.

OP posts:

Original poster

Jacksmama · 03/05/2009 19:27

Bumping for myself...

OP posts:

CharCharGabor · 03/05/2009 19:28

Are the toothmarks on the top or bottom of your nipple?

tassisssss · 03/05/2009 19:29

any chance you're pregnant?

LeninGrad · 03/05/2009 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Jacksmama · 03/05/2009 19:40

The toothmarks are on top.

And there is absolutely no, nil, zip, zero, nada chance that I am pregnant. If I were, I promise you - there would be a star rising in the east.
(full story on request, not necessarily pertinent here

I like the lots of gin/wine...

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FrannyandZooey · 03/05/2009 19:43

hmm, i had this happen with ds1 when (i think) his top teeth came through - i saw teeth marks also
i don't remember what happened or when it changed, sorry - no help at all! except i fed him till he was nearly 4 and it did not hurt all that time, so i guess his mouth must have grown a bit or i found a more comfortable position or something! good luck with it

LeninGrad · 03/05/2009 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

The2ndMrsSantosneeGissabreak · 03/05/2009 19:48

Ouch poor you! We go thru little phases of this sometimes. DD gets fed up if the milk flow is too slow. I rang a bfc who suggested trying to schedule in some feeds which were totally unrushed, gaze-into-each-others-eyes type affairs - sounds a bit daft but her reasoning was that it can all get a bit rushed and I needed to relax around feeding times if possible (not easy with a job, older child and all the usual mountain of mother-work). It did work and whenever I remember/can fit a session in like that I do. It mostly goes in phases though, teething, colds, chickenpox and then sorts itself out within a few days each time. One other thought - have you thought about thrush? If his mouth hurts it might cause his latch to go off a bit?

Gin and wine are good too!!

Original poster

Jacksmama · 03/05/2009 20:06

Well, he's teething like mad - the bottom molars are just visible through a thin film of gum so I'd guess his mouth hurts...
He normally has the perfect latch, but can get a bit lazy - but it hurts throughout BFing, I can fee his little teeth.

He has nipped me before or dragged my nipple - usually with a cheeky upwards look and grin... but I assure you he doesn't usually do it twice, as we have a rule that when he nips, "boo goes away!!".

I don't feel particularly rushed nursing him but will try the "cuddle down for a nurse" approach...

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The2ndMrsSantos · 03/05/2009 22:07

I'd put money on the molars - DD is cutting hers too. Sometimes she clamps on and I want to hit the ceiling . But, it does always sort itself out in the end. It might be worth talking to a bfc just to rule out any other causes. Have you done the first dental appointment? Ours wasn't very enlightening (think he glazed over when I mentioned teething and its impact breastfeeding an 18 mo old ) but your dentist might be better than DD's

Original poster

Jacksmama · 04/05/2009 14:58

no, no dental appt's yet... also missed his 12 month check-up with GP... which is probably less of a big deal, all she does is measure him, weigh him and plot it on a chart (which I do every month), looks in his ears (which I do with my otoscope), asks about his sleep, eating, and mobility (which are clearly fine), and then asks if I'm still BFing ( and sort of stifles a titter when I say yes), and then gives me the look when I try to evade the question about immunizations... so I'm not particularly keen to go...

But I will take him to the dentist in the next few months. Thanks, I needed the gentle kick up the arse reminder, MrsSantos !

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sandyposy · 03/05/2010 01:13

very old thread but - did you ever sort this out Jacksmama?

My DS is 20months and its got to the point that I dread feeding him, due to deep indentations in areola from top teeth and pain throughout. I try to correct his latch, he gets furious, I get upset that I keep making him cry ? something that used to be nice has become the major problem in our day. He's just started sleeping through the night and wakes in the morning desperate for milk, and trying to stop bfing him now seems impossible ? I think he feels he needs it more than ever thanks to all the changes he's going through. Anyhow if you or if anyone has any tips, please please share; am at wits end...

zen1 · 03/05/2010 14:04

Sandyposy, my DS is 17.5 months and has about 16 teeth now, but every time a new one comes through, he bites for a couple of days (not intentionally - I think it is where the new tooth grinds on me) and then he kind of adjusts again. Has been really painful and I end up detaching him and reattaching him till it is more comfortable. I note your DS has only just started sleeping through. Mine still wakes twice a night for a feed and I wondered if yours did too until recently? (I only ask as people are horrified I still feed at night).

zonedout · 03/05/2010 21:14

zen1 my almost 19 month old ds2 still wakes regularly for nightfeeds. i just don't bother talking about it to anyone who might be horrified

sandyposy am so sorry you are having such a hard time. i don't know what to suggest other than masses of lansinoh inbetween feeds (which i only started re-using again recently having previously only used it when ds1 was a newborn) but i do find it very healing. like many pp, i have been through many painful phases which have, so far, all thankfully passed. hopefully this will be no more than a brief passing phase for you too.

sandyposy · 04/05/2010 02:50

zen1 - yes, until about a month ago he was waking 3-5 times a night, every night, for milk . And I never got the hang of feeding lying down (find it very uncomfy) so always had to sit up. He just seemed to slip into the sleeping through on his own, so hang on in there . . . Thanks also for teething point; trouble is that it seems to be all the time. He has 16 teeth too, but rather than related to teething I think it's more laziness; if he's tired, just woken up etc. And it's been going on a while now, since well before Xmas.

I am going to keep at the reattaching, and asking him to open wide. Also I explain why I am taking him off, that it's hurting mummy etc, but usually he just wails and gets furious and sometimes won't even carry on, just has a tantrum . . .

zonedout thanks a lot, I will try lanisoh, have actually never used it so far. Hope I can get it (not living in UK at the mo). Also I have found a bf group here so will give them a call tomorrow and see if I can get someone to check the latch with me.

Thanks so much for your support ladies. Sometimes I think it's going to drive me crazy . . . don't want to stop bfing but at the same time it can't be good if it's making us both unhappy . ..

Original poster

Jacksmama · 04/05/2010 03:00

Oh good grief - I clicked on this thread thinking I could help and found it was mine from exactly one year ago... what are the chances?

I did finally sort out what the issue was... it was when I started ovulating again last year. Had my first period a month after my original post, two weeks after the second time breastfeeding hurt the second time. DS is now 2.3 (almost) and still breastfeeding, and every month, for about a week, both my nipples hurt when I'm close to ovulating. It's a major pain in the arse boob but does have the one advantage that i know when to be werry werry careful .

sandyposy, does BFing hurt you all the time or only periodically? Could it be the same thing?

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sandyposy · 04/05/2010 05:23

hello jacksmama . . . hadn't noticed the anniversary . . . how odd! Am so glad you worked out what the problem was.

For me, I wish it were ovulation or something predictable! It's painful every time we feed, sadly; sometimes I can bear it ? although his teeth leave indentations, it doesn't hurt too much. But generally if re-latching fails it's a matter of trying to grit my teeth, pinch my leg to distract myself etc etc. Not good.

And, oh the irony, he just woke up crying (it's a little after midnight here), offered water which has usually been what he wants since starting to sleep through, cried more, tried comforting, screamed more, eventually tried bf but he wasn't properly opening mouth, was excruciating, had to take him off, full screaming tantrum ensued, asked his dad to take him for a while as being with me just seems to frustrate him if its milk he wants. Screamscreamscream, eventually tried bfing again.Ouch. More screaming. The thing that gets me is that he will open his mouth to scream, but then when I offer the breast again he just cracks it open a tiny notch. It;s starting to make me feel furious and I just want to stop bfing completely at times like this . . . I mean he's had 20months . . . ARGH!

Original poster

Jacksmama · 04/05/2010 17:01

Oh sandy ... wish I had some useful advice!

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sandyposy · 05/05/2010 03:36

Thanks Jacksmama. Have had an idea, am going to try nipple shields !

zen1 · 05/05/2010 13:41

Good idea sandyposy. I tried them when Ds first started teething and was leaving indents and they did take away the pain, but the downside was they absolutely infuriated Ds. Another thing I do when DS is biting is prop him up close to me so he is really well supported. I find because he is quite big now, the weight of him makes it feel like he's pulling / dragging on me more with his teeth, but holding him really close to me alleviates it to some extent.

Good luck with the shields

sandyposy · 06/05/2010 13:51

getting them today, will let you know how I get on!

Original poster

Jacksmama · 06/05/2010 17:26

Any luck sandy?

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elkiedee · 06/05/2010 17:32

I don't have an answer but was interested because I'm getting bitten sometimes by DS2 15 months (I didn't get past a week or so with DS1). I take him off sometimes, another thing I try which helps is gently pressing myself to try and stimulate the supply/flow without pain, rather than letting him bash and chew at me.

sandyposy · 07/05/2010 14:00

nipple shield report... DS took one look, said "NO, NO, NO", whipped it off threw it on the floor. Nice. Have been unable to convince him to have a go so far.

Back to square one, I think

Sorry about the biting elkiedee. Bashing and chewing sounds horribly familiar!

Original poster

Jacksmama · 07/05/2010 15:44

Oh bum sandyposy

Would it be helpful if you let him play with it? Maybe smear some honey on it so he wants to suck on it?
[grasping at straws emoticon]

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