I am tired and unmotivated and life is passing me by. There is no joy.

[mrsblanc]

Here's my life.
I have a job I like, kids and a dh I love,nice friends, no money worries.

I am tired and slightly sad most of the time. And about a stone overweight . I have to force myself to get of the sofa for the simplest of tasks.

The highlight of the day is when my family go to bed and I sit on the sofa and drink wine and eat snacks. That is very sad seeing that written down, but it is true.
The late night snacking and drinking is obviously bad for me and is conrtibuting to me general feeling of sluggishness.

How do I get out of this rut and overcome this sapping sadness?

have you had a check up at the doctors recently, it could be thyroid trouble, ( can't remember over or under) or it could be that your anaemic...

I think this could be one of two things.

Either you are simply shattered by life in general and then I wouldn't worry about lloking forward to the wine and snack at night- that is your treat in the day after all. You could alternate it witha couple of nights at the gym, swimming or just out for a walk now the nightsvare better, and see if that helps the general feeling of sluggishness.

Alternatively, if the feeling just does not shift it could be you are depressed (sounds very similar to a friend I know) and a trip to your gp would sort this out.

You could be me. I've been sitting wondering what it was all for, when on the face of it I lead a pretty charmed life.
Couldn't even be arsed to go to the doctors about it.
DH forced me to sit down and talk a couple of weeks ago (I must have been bad for DH to intervene, he'd usually ignore an earthquake). We have made a plan.
First I am going to rule out a physical cause by having some blood tests (may be iron or B12 deficiency, possibly thyroid). If nothing comes up I am going to ask if I can go on to a small dose of anti-depressant for a couple of months (a short course helped me a great deal some years ago and some of the symptoms are similar to that time, I have just done one of the depression questionnaires).
What has helped is telling DH that I didn't have the strength to sort it all out myself. He helped with making appointments, chasing things up. The blood tests are booked for Monday morning.
Also have to say, the acceptance that there is a problem here and that it has to be dealt with, has eased things somewhat already.

Walk - get out and walk.

Vit. D produced by body when you get plenty of fresh air and sunshine. Walking (or other exercise but walking works) gives you a lift. Do 15 minutes around the block and feel the difference.

drinking every night is certainly not going to help your mood and energy levels, no matter what the underlying cause. could you limit yourself to drinking on weekends only?

and then if you're clearheaded every morning could you get out for a walk or run first thing? i've just started running and i'm amazed at how positively it affects my mood, more so than other forms of exercise. it's also given me masses of energy.

i realise this sounds like quite a hefty lifestyle change but it's really just a couple of small steps that i've recently taken which are having a greater effect than i imagined on my overall wellbeing.

Agree with what everyone else has said.

Also, your whole life revolves around other people, what do you have for yourself? How much time do you have to chill out or go out and do a hobby. I do not count sitting on the couch with a glass of wine with the children upstairs as properly chilling out - I need to go out the house and drop the responsibility to feel fully 'me'.

thank you all so much.

Re the thyroid thing.
I have felt this way for years! I have been to the doc about three times - about once a year for the past 3 years. Thyroid levels always normal, everything else ok as far as blood tests go.

Springlamb I do indeed have a charmed life.The only identifiable thing "wrong" is a less than smooth relationship with dh. I do wonder f this is what is really at the source of me feeling dragged down but it is really not easy to sort out and it is not bad enough to break up the family.

prossecco I like your name! I chose mine after my fav wine and I like your comment that the wine and snacks are not a big deal so long as I dont overdo it.

ok thanks you all again. I am going to do the following

1. start taking a multivitamin 2)start forcing myself off the sofa to go for walks 3)limit wine to one decent sized glass each night - I drink too muchbecause I am sad which adds to the sadness
2. go to the doc if no better in a month
3. there is no 5, wish there was a way to tackle the relationship issue

is there really no way to address the underlying relationship issue?

my own experience with trying to limit anything that's pleasurable but bad for me is that abstinence is easier than cutting down. after a glass of wine there are suddenly an awful lot fewer reasons not to have another glass, iyswim, especially once the bottle's open.

but i've had an emotional - as opposed physical - dependence on alcohol as a "treat", to "wind down" and -mostly - to "escape", and i'm aware of what a huge step it can feel to say i'm going to live without that crutch.

I could have been you a while ago, the thing that changed things was finding a form of exercise that I enjoyed. It has a knock on effect because you tend to eat better and drink less when you've just killed yourself physically. I also sleep better and generally feel my mood has lifted. As a lifetime exercise a phobe I wouldn't have believed how much difference it has made, but I really really really think you should give it a go.

You could use a life coach. see www.associationforcoaching.com or gladeanamcmahon.co.uk