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I'm worried sick about my dad

12 replies

helsbels4 · 02/04/2009 16:50

As I said, I'm worried sick about my dad. He's sixty eight and has been a smoker since he was very young (he actually stopped about six weeks ago). He had a really bad cough and his GP prescribed antibiotics but it didn't clear and he was given another prescription. The cough still didn't clear, although it improved slightly, so GP sent him for chest x-ray.
We have waited two weeks for the result and GP has now said that something showed up on the left lung and he would contact the hospital this afternoon to arrange a side-on x-ray to see if whatever it was, is inside or outside of the lung. My dad has also seen the nurse and she said that he has obstructive airways and gave him an inhaler to use.
My dad is imagining the worse and tbh, so am I. Especially as my mum died of cancer nearly four years ago. I'm terrified of losing my dad as well. Things weren't great after my mum died and he found a new partner relatively soon after but time has passed and things are different now and we're becoming closer again.
Although my dad's partner says he lost his appetite and was tired a lot, he says he hasn't lost weight and he even says that although he still has this cough, he feels much better than he did six weeks ago.
Another thing that plays on my mind - and his - is that he used to work with asbestos and I remember one time he came home from work and he was really shaking and had to lay down (my dad never seemed to be ill when I was young) and my mum said something about asbestos poisoning. I was only young but I suppose I've been dreading this time for years. .
I suppose I would just like to hear if anybody knows about this sort of thing and could it be something really nasty even though he feels relatively well for an oap (seems strange to think of my dad as that!)I'm getting myself in a right tizz and just keep crying since he told me.
Sorry this was so long and thanks if you stayed with it

OP posts:
helsbels4 · 02/04/2009 18:23

No-one?

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Doodle2U · 02/04/2009 18:29

I think you need to calm right down for a start - blimey, you sound like me after I've Googled "headache" and self-diagnosed myself with a brain tumour.

It might be summat sinister, it might not.

As well as cancer, it could be a really bad infection, pneumonia etc.

Until you get some actual results, you can only guess yourselves into a right tizzy. I'm a smoker and I've had x-rays which have shown stuff up and it's turned out to be other things.

Remain positive and let's deal with facts rather than guess-work! Will you come back and let us know what the results are?

helsbels4 · 02/04/2009 18:42

Oh Doodle2U, thank you! I know I need to calm down but I am the world's worst worrier and when my mum was first diagnosed with cancer, we all told her to be positive as cancer isn't always the end but her cancer was too advanced and she wasn't offered treatment. That's why my mind is running ahead of me.
The reasonable part of my brain says to worry when I have something definite to worry about but the emotional side is running away with itself
I sound like a loon don't I?

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MIAeatingeggs · 02/04/2009 19:10

You don't sound like a loon at all, I posted recently worrying about a very minor situation, so if you are, then I definitly am!

It's perfectly natural to worry but as Doodle2U said it could be any number of things that wont be as bad as you are thinking. He's your Dad and you just want him to be well but you don't know what it is yet and hopefully it won't be much longer to wait. I think the waiting is so hard in this situation.Good luck

MuffinBaker · 02/04/2009 19:14

When will you get more news?

It is only natural to worry. He is your dad and you love him.

I hope it is something minor.

Good for him giving up smoking.

helsbels4 · 02/04/2009 19:43

Thank-you both - your replies mean so much to me! I'm googling and wracking my brains as to what else it could be - what else could it be?
Muffin, he had to wait two weeks from having the last x-ray until he rang for the results today. The gp said he would ring hospital this afternoon, so my dad has to now wait for the appointment and then however long it takes them to get back to him. The waiting is so difficult.
I just know that my dad is thinking the same way as I am and I'm terrified

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MuffinBaker · 02/04/2009 19:48

I know it is hard, but whatever is wrong, won't change by worrying. Try and get your dad to build up his strenth so if he does need an op or treatment, he will be able to manage.

ballbaby · 02/04/2009 20:05

My mums a heavy smoker and has had a bad cough for 3 or 4 years now. She had a "shadow" on her lung which was a worry first time she had it scanned but they think it might be mild tb that she had when younger. She goes for a scan every now and then but it hasn't changed so everything seems ok. She doesn't like leaving the house now - partly because her cough's so bad she ends up with tears streaming down her face - she gets embarrassed but doesn't stop her smoking 40 a day.

My dad's also been a heavy smoker and was recently diagnosed with emphysema - he has an inhaler. He gave up but has to passive smoke mum's smog. I was really upset when he was first diagnosed but there's no sign of him going anywhere yet! As far as i know people can plod on for years with it.

I have always despaired that they both smoke - it has in turn upset me and driven me mad!

You seem to be fearing the worst but there may be a less scary outcome - here's hoping.

Sidge · 02/04/2009 20:08

Fingers crossed it's nothing sinister.

It could be a zillion things - TB, cancer, COPD, asbestosis, a shadow on the X-ray , you won't know for sure until he has further tests.

Good on him for giving up smoking - whatever he has, that will improve his health so give him a pat on the back. And hopefully the inhalers will help with his COPD so he will feel a bit better soon.

Hope all goes well.

helsbels4 · 02/04/2009 20:55

Thank you all . I know I have to keep it together until we know for definite but as I said before, I'm the world's worst worrier even without my mum being diagnosed and then dying. It's just my mind is working overtime. I'm doing things to take my mind off it all but it's hard. I dread to imagine how my dad is feeling.
It helps to hear from people though. Even if it is to tell me to pull myself together! I'm a twonk!!!

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100mph · 02/04/2009 23:21

It will be impossible to stop worrying completely but good to try and balance this with thinking of the positives. If something is going on, the main thing is to have it identified as a possible issue and followed up as soon as possible. It looks like that's happening so an uncomfortable wait - but at least you're not living in ignorance. As mentioned by others, sometimes things can show up - even asbestos related conditions like pleural plaques - which might not necessarily cause any major problems.

best of luck, 100 mph

helsbels4 · 03/04/2009 06:33

Thanks 100mph, you're right in saying I should balance this with thinking of the positives. If something is going on then it is better to know than to bury our heads in the sand.
ballbaby, you must be so frustrated with your mum but well done to your dad for giving up smoking, even though he still has to breathe in your mum's smoke . We've all tried to persuade my dad to give up smoking for years but he just didn't want to. I think this persistent cough has scared him this time together with his age and past career of working with asbestos.

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