I've NEVER had a smear test. Someone please slap me!!!

[steviesgirl]

I really think I could be potentially risking my health, but I'm too bloody scared and embarassed to have one! I know, I'm pathetic. I'm 29 (30 this year), and have 1 dd who's nearly 3. A midwife even told me I needed a post natal smear.

Mumsnetter's please remind me that it's nothing to worry about and give me a good kick up the arse!

though I havent had one for years aways seem to be farking pregnant

go and book yourself in to have one...make the phone call tomorrow.

I am crap at going regularly enough, but when I finally went it was fine. Not painful, not awful and not embarassing

go!

oh and theres nothing to worry about

you managed to ope n your legs and squeeze a turkey sized baby out. what is so bad about a lolly stick??

sort yourself out and stop being such a baby.

Slap. Not the best day out in the world but necessary and over before you know it x

got mine on Friday, doesn't hurt one jot, speculum may be a little cold but other than that, much easier than giving birth.

And it's over in seconds.

And it can save your life.

Get
Your
Arse
In
Gear

The nurse wants to look up your fanny.
Its her job.
If she doesn't, then she gets made redundant and you live life on the edge.
Imagine having to say goodbye to your DD, never to see her again.

Trim your pubes.
Shave your legs.
Wear a tunic and jeans so when you take your trousers off you still feel covered a little.
Chat about holidays.

It is a little unusual to have a speculum popped up there but its over quickly. Its not sore. It makes sense.

Thanks for the good telling's off. I shall book an appointment, (honest).

I actually never had a natural delivery with dd, so I've never had my bits poked, lol

AND they use nice warm plastic thingies not horrid cold metal these days, so think yourself lucky!

oooh fg, do you trim your pubes? I'm too lazy for that, nursey's lucky to get shaved legs Might have to prune if that's the norm though!

seems HeadFairy's not as privileged as me in the plastics dept

I could tell you of the awfulness of my cousin's death from cervical cancer and her children trying to be brave at her funeral. I could tell you how my aunt still cries about her daughter's needless death, but I'm going to leave it to your imagination - GET YOUR SMEAR DONE WOMAN!

PS - you have given birth - you have nothing to fear from a smear.

I had my first one the other day, and my DS is 4

It was a plastic thing, so not cold at all, I had a good proper shave in the morning, and wore a skirt and leggings so I just had to take off the leggings and still felt a bit covered, though they did give me a 'modesty sheet'

It didn't hurt. Wasn't even hugely uncomfortable, and only took about 20 seconds.

Its really not that bad. AND I won't need another for 3 years!

They stick you behind a screen to get changed. Put a massive tissue on the couch, and a big spare bit to cover your bits. You put your feet together and push your feet back to your bum. Chat about the weather/holidays/kids, feel something cold - hey presto done and dusted. Then nurse bobs away while you put pants and jeans back on. Away you go....don't be such a baby. More people look at your fanjo when there's a baby (and possibly a little poo coming out) than they do for a smear. The nurse even locks the door!!!!
You'll be fine...do it! It's the smallest indignity we suffer!

Oh cat, I'm a bit overdue (due to pregnancy and a couple of mcs) so perhaps I'll get a plastic one now... gives me something to look forward to (pathetic or what?)

i'm the worlds biggest wimp when it comes to pain...but honestlty..it doesn't really hurt... you must have it done...

I won't give you a slap, but I can give you a jolly good scare story that will get you off your backside and make you go. [Grin]

In brief, I am in theory very low risk for cervical cancer, sex at 22, 3 partners, never smoked, no weird bleeding and always had regular smear tests. But at 30 I had a dodgy result after a smear and over 6 months had 2 ops to cut chunks of my cervix out as they may have turned cancerous. Have had 2 fab dc's since then. But last smear test result in jan showed more dangerous cell changes (not cancer, but close) and as a result of that I'm probably having a hysterectomy this summer as my cervix is too damaged to have much more treatment and get an accurate smear / colposcopy from. So please please please have a smear as you won't know if there are any problems until its too late. If I hadn't had smears I dread to think what may have happened.

Scare story over, book it tomorrow!!

OK all you people who've had the cold metal treatment, they've probably changed things to warm plastic in the ten years since you last went, so no excuses now!

Maybe our docs are just evil cat, cos I had one four years ago and I could have sworn it was cold metal (either that or my fanjo is so unsensitive I couldn't tell )

Mine was on Tuesday, it was metal!! Sorry to disappoint. I'm 33 and have had one every 3 years since I was 16, so you'd don't catch me out that easily!!!! Nah nah.

Well my doc is a very nice lady, not a day over 23 by the looks of it, who says its just like looking under the bonnet of a car.

Maybe yours is the same but brought a socket wrench along by mistake.

Supergluebum

two words

socket wrench

Think on't lass

at socket wrench!!!

Can I ask a dim question please? Do they use a different sized speculum if you've had a vb? Ds was born by cs so I was wondering if I have to tell them that in case they use the wrong size.

Had mine a few months ago. It was a tiny little plastic thing. It was brill (well as brill as a smear test can be). Must depend on whether your surgery has been dragged into the 21st century or not.