Am I being a good friend by NOT mentioning this?

[worriedfriend2]

My friend has been overweight since her teens but recently, has put on quite a bit more weight. She's now 45 and a single parent. It worries me particularly because (a) she's on her own and (b) both her parents and sister died young.

Obviously it's her life and her choice, although I know she would love to lose weight but I'm wondering whether I'm being a bad friend to her by not mentioning my concerns re her health.

What do you think? I just want to do the right thing for her.

I'm sure she is aware of the health risks. If she brings it up then you can support her but I am not sure that she would welcome unsolicited advice.

Tricky one, i dont think you should mention you think she is over weight, or even that you are worried about her health, not directly anyway, but maybe you could encourage her to be more active, suggest you both start going to a keep fit class, or even a slimming club

I know she wouldn't welcome advice, but I'm just wondering whether by pussyfooting round the elephant in the corner, I'm not actually helping her - there's no-one else who is in a position to speak frankly to her IYKWIM and I think she's buried her head in the sand.

I've tried to get her to come walking with me - she would never go to a class or a gym. Oh I don't know .

Could you ask her to join you in walking/a gym/swimming or a slimming club?
Make out that she's doing you a favour?

x-posts!

I've got to go out now, but if anyone has any further thoughts I'd be really grateful.

Well only you know your friend but bear in mind if you say anything there is a probably a decent chance she will be massively hurt and it could badly affect your friendship. I know you mean well but it won't be news to her that she has put on weight and what the health impacts of this are.

Overweight people know they are overweight - so friends telling them this are not helpful.

I do agree with all the people on the thread but if you are the closest thing to family that she has then it might be worth considering. It sounds as though you would be tactful, mention concern for her health and what can you do to help if anything. Obviously if she brushes you off don't push it, but I think it's nice that you care about her enough to move beyond wanting to keep the peace or not hurt her feelings.

I do agree with all the people on the thread but if you are the closest thing to family that she has then it might be worth considering. It sounds as though you would be tactful, mention concern for her health and what can you do to help if anything. Obviously if she brushes you off don't push it, but I think it's nice that you care about her enough to move beyond wanting to keep the peace or not hurt her feelings.