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What would you say or do?

3 replies

parker1313 · 17/02/2009 17:48

I recently discovered that my dh has spent £300ish on food whilst out working in jan (works on mob fone masts all over country)
He has done this in the past but Iv sort of not checked the bank and Iv feel I dont want to be checking up on him.The bills are paid etc so I had no reason to worry.
Lifes too busy to be checking him all the time anyway!
I approached him about it and he decided by himself (no mention from me)that he would cut up his bank card and if we needed to pay for anything then he would transfer the money from his to mine and that way we would be more aware of what money is being spent on.He also agreed that he would take food(pack up) to work.
He has just returned from work.Dinner was almost ready.He sat down on laptop,stated how tired he was (gets up at 5ish most morns&returns 12 hrs later)&did some work then dived in the bath and then came down and ate his dinner with us all at the table.
I asked him what he had eaten today. He replied with a packet of crisps and a coffee!!
I suggested that that could be why he is feeling more tired and he agreed,he then proceeded to tell me that whilst driving on the motorway he had tunnel vision and that he went in to a glare and nearly dropped off &driving on the white line made him come round!!
I aske to to not carry on talking to me and refuses to listen to and said I am upset that he hadnt eaten all day and that he doesnt care about his health and I dont want to hear his stories regarding driving.
He stormed out &slammed the door and is now laying on the bed leaving me to clear dinner &put kids to bed.
Im really cross.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 17/02/2009 17:52

Why didn't he eat his packed lunch?

purpleduck · 17/02/2009 18:02

300 seems alot £15 a day...? Surely there is a middle ground...?
That would be a tough job in the bad weather, and I can see how he would want something warm/satisfying.
Can't there be a compromise? Half that amount a day? Or a few times a week, and the rest of the week maybe he can make more of an effort with his lunch so that he looks forward to it?

parker1313 · 17/02/2009 18:50

Well yes I agree about him having some money.I wouldnt want to take control of him at all.Im not like that.
A while a go I got him a flask that holds stews and started to do him stews and soups and he then kept forgetting to take it&said he didnt really want it.
Its sandwiches,crisps&cakes he is spending his money on&breakfast croissants etc.
He said he forgot to do a pack up!
Why doesnt he do it the night before-He's too tired!!
I just think that working the hours he does means he needs to make even more effort to take care of himself!

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