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My Dad wants to 'delay' going to the GP - what should I do??

3 replies

Legacy · 10/02/2009 22:42

My Dad is 76. After my Mum died 5 years ago he moved closer to us. I am only near relative, therefore have sort of assumed the responsibility for him .

He lives alone in a retirement flat, and has mostly been OK so far.
But in the last 6-8 months he has developed a tremor in his hands - firstly one, and then both. I think he is also showing other signs of a health problem - speech a bit less clear, less steady on feet etc.

When I first mentioned to him (about 7 months ago) that I thought he should see a doctor he just evaded my comment, and said he was 'fine', and that he was due for a check up in the 'New Year' anyway.

As I've seen things progress I recently asked about his check up and he says it's not until May.
Although I suggested he make an appointment sooner (saying I would go with him if he wanted) he is basically ignoring me and saying he'll 'think about it' - which means he won't...

I really don't know what to do. As his only close relative who sees him regularly, I feel I am responsible for making him take his health seriously
BUT his preference really seems to be one of 'ignorance is bliss' as if he doesn't want to confront any diagnosis. I can sort of understand this, as he had to nurse my Mum through a long illness, and knows how depressing the whole NHS/ hospital thing can be.

But if I don't persuade him to go, and then we later find out that it's something that has progressed beyond a treatable point, then I will forever feel like it's my fault, and I am to blame?

I suspect he probably has the beginnings of Parkinson's.

I don't know how to handle this.

OP posts:
hifi · 10/02/2009 23:01

lots of men are like this, my dad is one. if mum has a go at him he ignores, if i do he goes. is there anyone else who could have a quiet word? would the Dr come out to see him?

my mum was putting off bypass surgery, i called a private hospital and i managed to get one of their consultants to phone her. she was in within a week.

good luck, sorry couldn't have been more help.and no you wouldnt be to blame for anything, hes a grown man

frumpygrumpy · 10/02/2009 23:07

I agree that you could phone his doctor and explain your concern.

If you are really worried, could you just be very forward with him and tell him its making you upset to see A, B and C and you really want him to see the doctor, for your sake?

Otherwise, it is kind of up to him.

sundew · 10/02/2009 23:13

Legacy you could try phoning his GP and seeing if they will arrange to drop round for a visit. Alternatively you could ask your dad if he would like you to go with him to the GPs. There are more treatment options around for Parkinsons and alzeimers which can help delay the symptoms so the earlier he starts to get diagnosed the better.

Good luck

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