I. HAVE. HAD. ENOUGH. (warning, strong language used)

[TinyWhiteFeather]

of my fucking body.

Went to the docs today as I had discovered a lump, which even I suspected might be a swollen gland, but,.......

I have,
Very very iron deficient,
Extremely low blood count,
Both leading to severe anaemia,
A low grade urinary tract infection(?),
A low grade cervical infestion(?),
Abnormalities on my cervix, including 'erosion of the cervix' and possible cervicitis.
And thrush.

My toe nail dropped off (), not unusual apparently.
Bloody miracle I have achieved anything at all over last six months all considered and Doc thought I was doing well not to have spent last six months in bed.

So I have been referred as a matter of moderate urgency, (before actual toes start dropping off!!), to a lovely gynaecology specialist.

And am being blasted with iron, and anti-biotics when he can figure out exactly what to give me.

And it is not my fault and he has officially told me I am NOT going mad, even though it has started to feel like it over the last ,well feels like forever.

I will improve, but he says it will be at least SIX bloody MONTHS, Before I am back to anything like normal.

Oh fucking joy.

OK. At least I know some of what is wrong and from there we can start to put this poor little body of mine back on track.

ONE huge whinge, that my weight loss has been a huge bone of contention between H and myself and have said all along that I am not 'dieting' anymore, that I can't eat sometimes, it makes me sick and I can't swallow. And I simply don't 'feel' hungry, so I do it because I know I am supposed to, not because my body is reminding me too with hunger signals. And that stress (Lololol) triggers this.
And I was right..............
However, water under the bridge.

And everything, almost, that I have moaned or complained about for however long, chronically exhausted, insomnia, aches and pains everywhere, (toe-nails dropping off!), etc etc, could all be linked to the above so I might be able to look forward to feeling something close to normal at some point in the future.

I am attending my aunts funeral on Friday
So I am going to have a couple of days feeling monumentally sorry for myself, and then give myself a sharp kick in my rear (do join me in this), in being 'pro-active' about getting myself well.

So fuck, wanking, shitty, CRAPPY start to yet another year, and this is MY bloody year so if anything else wants to happen, get it over and done with now cos I will be kicking ass for the rest of the year.

So there.

I have eaten three chocolate biscuits in the writing of this post, but no goats were hurt.

Oh sweetie. Just read op. Hope you feel better for having a rant.

(((((((((((((lots of hugs))))))))))))))

Jusat dropping some {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}} in here for you because I can't find you anywhere else.

Well done for getting to the root of it though eh Tiny?

Might not take 6 months, I had a Hb count of 5 when I was a teenager, had a couple of trnsfusions after being rushed back to hospital but def didn't take 6 months... That was just anaemia though, not all your other little delights on top.

Hope you get well soon.

Absolutely Osba, and how lovely to to 'see' you.
Didn't feel sorry for myself for long though...so much to do so little time, and am very very pleased to hear it might not be 6 months...that was dwelling on my mind a litle.

I think the iron is making me feel quite sick at the moment and will be glad when that has passed.

And pink...I did rather get it off my chest didn't I lol, not sure if it is a good or bad thing to post when I am that stressed...I very rarely use language like that in RL!! I was worrying about you...I hope you are OK.

Thanks for hugs an' all....

I wonder if it takes long for the sick feeling to go away from getting the iron onto your system....bleeuuurrrggghhh!

TWF when I was really low in iron (they were contemplating transfusion and I was nearly fainting all over the place) I managed to get my count up in a week to a level they expected in 3 weeks by having lots of carob. You can get it in bars - but its got lots of things added to make it into bars - I tend to get a bag of carob powder and then add a teaspoon to breakfast, to yoghurt for a pudding, or even as a drink. Its sort of a chocolate substitute, but doesn't really taste like chocolate, so as long as you don't expect it to taste of chocolate its quite nice. And it doesn't have any of the bad side effects of iron pills, and shouldn't make you feel sick either.

Hope you feel better soon.

Oh, I might look into that mistlethrush, thank-you.

I know you often feel worse before you get better one way or another so just need to be patient.

Had similar anaemia problem - took 6 months of full blast wretched ferrous sulphate to get my iron back to norm. Dr gave me glucose syrup to stop constipation - hello wind...!!! Stopped that and upped intake of fruit and veg - good for you I've heard - worked anyway!

You will feel A LOT better (and warmer!) once your iron levels get up a bit so it is worth perservering.

Odd bottle of wine in a luxurious bath helps too!

Good luck !

Oh it is so good to hear recovery stories..I know the only way is up from fere (fingers crossed) but it has been so long I have forgotten what it is like to just be averagely healthy.

And the cold dOglover!! It feels like my internal thermometer is broken.

I might be able to switch my electric blanket off this summer then!!

Thanks..

Feather, I have three packets of carob powder in the cupboard.
Come to think of it they might be out of date.

I'll check and let you knowe. If they're okay you're welcome to them

3!!!! Even I don't have more than 1 and a bit at a time - despite ds requesting it fairly regularly....

I keep forgettimg I have it.
Also forget that the dcs don't like carob cake

TT - ds likes having a bowl of cereal with some carob added... It makes the milk go 'chocolatey' !!!

Thank-you Toot, it is a pity apple pie isn't full of iron

You could add iron filings.....

mistlethrush, unfortunately mine are too used to the idea of chocolate and so find carob odd

That's why I always warn people that its not chocolate and doesn't taste like chocolate. If you're not expecting chocolate its fine. Its like seeing a drink, expecting tea and finding its weak coffee...

I had to have an iron infusion when i was pregnant with 2nd. Big bag of black stuff on a drip. Took 8 hours of lying on a bed watching it slowly go down.
Think some people are more prone to being iron less than others. I take iron in the form of water with iron in it every morning - can't take tablets as they give me the worst stomach ache ever.
It is always good to know what is wrong with you so it can only get better from here.

Absolutely saramoon...I actually started fantasizing about what I will be able to achieve when I am back on top form.

I am still curious as to why it was so low when I eat a fairly iron rich diet though.