My worries.

[SmilePlease]

I posted a thread on here about a month ago addressing my immediate thoughts that my infertility could be linked to my previous years of suffering with an eating disorder. I arranged for an appointment with the GP. I cancelled it from fear.

My past is beginning to creep up and punish me. A saw a friend from school last week and her facial expression dropped in suprise to see me. It is only natural with my then skinny build now moulding into a functional woman's frame.

Now that i have developed some fat, i feel the need to shift it. Not by the usual means i was fazed with but with an ordinary diet. At least if i ate healthily i could increase the chance of my fertility. But does this sound dangerous? Like i might spiral down the way i did when i was young?

Embarrasingly i have to confess that things with DP have not been running as smoothly as i would of wished. Sexually we are struggling because i've become suddenly aware of how much weight i have put on and it is becoming less frequent. He refuses out right to turn the lights off or let me be semi clothed. I have angered him and he believes he understands where i am coming from. How is this possible when i don't even know where i'm coming from myself?

This is more of a spill my heart out session then me looking for answers. You don't have to post any messages in return.

Many thanks.

hi smileplease. i know that feeling of bumping into an old school friend, seeing the surprise on their face!

so sorry to hear you are feeling down. you are dealing with lots of things at once.

i cannot really say if watching your weight is the answer, in the way that for me losing a bit of weight would increase my confidence in starting to date men. it is a different matter when you have an eating disorder in the past.

why were you scared to visit the GP? was it because you don't want to make the link between your disorder and your fertility? or that you really want him to give you a reason for your fertility problems?

i think you know the answer. you must make that call to the doctor. it is fantastic that you are considering your emotional strength before launching into any diet changes. you obviously want to be happy and healthy and you must reach out for a bit of help. perhaps when you explain this to your dp he will calm and see that maybe he doesn't know everything but that you are taking steps to mind yourself. please try not to worry.

Couldn't let this go unanswered. You sound so . Have you explained how you feel to DP? Hope this bump bring someone a little more knowledgable.