Positive thinkers, what are your best tips for keeping the black clouds at bay?

[sinkingfast]

I've always been a fairly positive thinker but am increasingly finding that I'm struggling to keep positive in my day to day life. Little things worry or niggle at me far too much and I can end up spiralling downwards quite easily. I really want to get on top of these feelings - does anyone have any strategies they use? Would therapy or counselling help?

I found CBT useful when my thoughts/anxieties were running away with me. CBT info here -- plenty of info online, or you could ask your GP for a referral.

I always think of the things I have to be grateful for. Things like

health
dds' health
having clothes & shoes to wear
having good friends
living in a nice friendly area

etc etc

I always remember how lucky I am to have my parents still alive and things like that. I make lists and realise how many things I have to be thankful for.

I don't dwell on the negative stuff. Sometimes I write down and plan what I can do to sort out problems, or I bounce ideas off friends. That helps me anyway.

Thanks both. I think quite a lot of it is hormonal - I've just gone back on the pill to try and even things out but am still feeling far too negative for my liking. PestoMonster, that's what I've always done in the past but it's not working so well now which is why I'm floundering - feeling like this is alien to me. Will check out the CBT link, thank you.

exercise. also go to your gp to discuss the pill you may need to change.

Hi sinkingfast. I used to have similar feelings of feeling ok for ages, then out of the blue, I would start to feel edgy and anxious, and then everything started to feel negative. I knew that this could get out of control, and end up in a depressed state.

In the end I did something called "positive affirmations". It is a structured thing, where I had to write down at least 10 statements, all in the present tense, all possitive. I had to make the statements personal to me, about things I was struggling with.

For example, if I was feeling bad about my confidence levels, my statement was "I am feeling confident and relaxed"

If I was struggling with an activity I had to face but didn't feel like it, like doing the school run, my statement would be "I enjoy walking to school. I feel relaxed and happy".

I wrote at least ten statements (I actually had 20!) and the important bit was to read them out OUT LOUD three times per day. When just out of bed, middle of the day, then in bed.

I also had to write out things before bedtime, things I needed to achieve the next day, such as school run, shopping, phone call, dental appointment, etc. Tick them off once done, and a mental slap on the back.

It worked absolute wonders, I cannot tell you what a difference it made. Years on, I am now naturally a positive thinker.

Try it!

Lots of great advice here.

I had a little self help book called 'Don't sweat the small stuff', I think. That helped me as I was getting down about very small, unimportant things (like not doing something perfectly or misplacing a book) and losing the bigger, more important picture.

good luck, good vibes to you. Have you had fresh air today? Get out of the house!

Oh thank you everyone, this is what Mumsnet is all about

I'm dashing out now but will come back and read these posts properly but I just wanted you all to know, you're great!

I also do lists like Twoisplenty.

I list what I am doing each day and cross things off. I also do a list in the evening of things for the following day.

When you cross things off as 'done', it really is a bit of a boost. It makes things seem like less of a hurdle if you can break them down into do-able portions.

Also, if I have a whole heap of things to do, I prioritize, rather than get overwhelmed by them. I ask myself if all those things need to be done now and if not, then I slot them into my schedule to do later. Maybe later in the week, or even the following week. It just really helps me not to get too bogged down with stuff.

Have you done some lists yet?

I have done my own positive affirmations like twoisplenty suggested, think it's a fab idea for you to try.

When I used to do yoga regularly my teacher gave me a mantra to repeat to myself. Basically like the affirmation, so when I got stressed or negative thoughts started to get to me I would stop, breathe adn repeat this to myself until I felt better. The breathing deeply while doing it helped me.

Best to do it in 2 steps-

1 Recognise a negative thought as it's happening
2 Zap it- replace with a positive thought- have a list ready!

Make a daily list of 3 things you have achieved- small or big.

Write your own list of affirmations- I am a great mum/good cook/ good friend....whatever- and post them around the house.

probably not particularly great for my mental health, but what has always worked for me is to put whatever it is to the back of my mind, i mean really ignore it, and then when I am calmer, more rational and more able to deal with it, pull it out from the depths of my mind, rant about it, perhaps have a good cry and then move on. Often though I find that when i do drag it out I can't really remember it at all, or it no longer bothers me and I have to tell myself how pathetic I am

If i still bothers me after that then i have to adress it, ie talk to the person who has caused it, or find alternative ways to deal with things if it is my own behaviour that has upset me (rare )

like i say, it might not be good for everyone, but it works well for me, and i am a very positive person (i have my moments of course, and am constantly anxious in a minor way, but that helps keeps me thin (ish) right? burning up calories )

hormonal misery is dreadful isn't it? I'm often like this around that time of the month

I imagine I'm standing in front of a mirror (or actually stand in front of a mirror if there's one around) and that I'm seeing myself as someone who really loved and cared for me sees me, and I feel their love and approval and amplify that until I feel fab and then I carry it around with me.

I may be nuts, but I'm happy about it!

Another thing I do (commit me to psychiatric care if you wish!) is to stand in front of the mirror when doing my hair, and give myself a big smile like this . Sounds ridiculous, but it gives my subconscious a big boost, it starts the day off well.

You could try post it noting the niggles on seperate post its. stick up the ones you can change in order of needed to be sorted. Scrunch up and throw away the ones you can't.
Fix one of these issues or try to every week.

then look at your list again.. what is actually important?? .. scrunch and trow away the ones that aren't.

Then write down the nice/ good / thankful things... they will always out weigh the bad stuff.

when reflecting on the day in the evening.. pop over to your calander/ dairy and either put a smilie or a sad face on that day.. according to how your feeling at refelection point... I like to do this after I have looked at the dc's sleeping!

this gives you a really good idea when you refect back over the month of how you have generally been feeling.. too many sad faces over a long time... maybe it's time to pop to the gp.. happy faces?? then remember that when your feeling down.

There's some great tips here, thank you. I just went and looked at the CBT website linked below and the scenario they give is completely what I would do i.e. if someone ignores me, I'll fret about what I've done to upset them (and plunge myself into a gloom) rather than thinking "oh, I wonder if there's something up with them?"

I am a big fan of lists anyway, but you're right, I think I need to expand them to be used in a positive and affirmative way.

Thanks again for all your help