Worried about Mum using Night Nurse every night

[sussexoldspot]

Please forgive me for a long post.

My Mum is 68 and has not slept properly for years. In desperation two years ago she went to her GP, who reluctantly gave her a prescription for a short course of sleeping tablets, which really helped her - she was like a different person, although she was only taking half the prescribed dose every night.

She returned to ask for a repeat prescription and the GP refused on the grounds that he was concerned she might become addicted (I forget what the tablets were).

I have talked her through the sleep quality leaflets we have at work (I work in older people's mental health), but she says she has tried everything to relax naturally, but with no success. She says she does not stay awake worrying about anything in particular, she just cannot sleep.

The sleepless nights continued until she fell ill with really bad flu in November and bought some Night Nurse for the first time. She has been using it pretty much every night since then, as, in her words, it 'completely knocks me out, it's wonderful'. She buys about 3 bottles of it every month.

Whilst part of me is happy that she's sleeping, I'm also worried about her using this stuff so frequently. I wonder if any of you out there have experienced anything similar? I don't know what to do, as I'm not sure whether it might be doing her any harm? If anyone has any advice, I'd be really grateful.

oh no, that does sound worrying

I'm sorry, I don't know the answers to your questions, but I can vouch for its "knock-out" qualities. The few times I have used it, I have to take it in bed, because I wouldn't even make it across the room !

That makes me think it is pretty potent stuff and shouldn't be abused in this way.

Thank you - am going to try to steer her in the direction of a herbal remedy. Mum also takes it when she's in bed already!

I don't unerstand why you haven't had more replies to this thread. Oh, well.

Herbal stuff sounds good.

All the best!

Could you possibly talk to her Doctor and ask for advice about what you should say or do?

Have you spoken properly to her? Does she listen?

Older people often DO lie awake for hours (as you will know) simply because they actually NEED less sleep. How annoying that just as you get to the stage in life where you don't NEED a 20-hour day, you've suddenly bloody well got one forced on you...

I know what you mean, anyfucker, sometimes you start a post and get nothing but tumbleweed in return! Am grateful for your replies, guys. Maybe I should have stuck this one on AIBU?

I'm going to give her a call tomorrow evening (she lives 5 hours away, which makes the worry worse, as it's coupled with guilt at being so far away from her) and have a long chat, although, no, she probably won't listen! The lack of sleep really does affect her badly, unfortunately.

An odd thing is getting to the stage in life where you've stopped getting the "You'd better not be on that cannabis/speed/LSD" lectures and now it's suddenly time to dish out the lectures yourself. Two years ago, my Dad thought it was hilarious to grow a six feet high cannabis hedge using seed he'd got from my Uncle, who works on Grimsby docks. I had to give him a right telling off before he finally dug it up.

lol sussex, your parents sound erm.....interesting

I have done this myself, it is easy to slip into, or was for me. Having a history of sleep problems and and this gives huge relief. It is dangerous and I just wnet cold turkey. Offer alternatives as already suggested.

Maybe reduce the dose and see if it can be slow brought down. Good luck x

Thank you, eve. I am so sorry to hear you've suffered the same thing and until you do, I don't think you realise how desperate people can become. I can only think back to when we were having sleepless nights with our little boy and imagine that going on for years

My parents are totally, totally straight, anyfucker. Honest!

My mother did this for years, she had a long history of insomnia and a terror of staying awake all night, when sad and anxious thoughts would obsess her (she lost a child to cancer and, of course, never 'got over it'). Night Nurse was a regular in our house but she tried many things, the thought of a drug-free night seemed to terrify her, bless her heart.

I also worried about her (although in the end she lived till 80 and her long-term self-medication didn't appear to have had any effects) but it's not easy to give parents advice, they can take it as criticism and it doesn't fit into their sense of world order, to be 'told what to do' by their children, even though you and I both know our concerns are only because we love them and worry about them.

You may not be able to do much. If she is faced with a long night of tortuous insomnia and staying drug-free, or taking a swig of NN and slipping into blissful sleep, the choice to her may seem obvious and the benefits of not having it (long-term health effects, pleasing you) may seem just too nebulous to be worthwhile.

You could try saying that if she uses it continuously, it may become ineffective for sleep purposes, which is somewhat true, and that it would be best if she saved it for 'emergencies'. And you could suggest ringing the changes, with Natrusleep or similar on some nights - even a little white lie like 'these herbal Kalms always knock me right out!' might help induce a placebo effect (as it happens, herbal Kalms always did make me feel a bit sleepy.) Or there's Medised - never used that myself but I believe it gives children restful nights and must come in a lowish dose which would be a good thing. Oh and anti-histamines are very sleep-inducing - at least for some. I tried this with my Mum - "Nothing will carry on working if your body gets used to it, Mum, so do without if you possibly can and then you know you've got a good night's sleep in the cupboard when you really need it."

I'm obviously not suggesting you support or feel happy about your mother with an over-the-counter drugs habit - just that it may be very, very difficult to get her to stop taking anything and that a few days off from any one particular drug is a good thing.

Lastly, it may seem patronising to suggest to her other simple ways of getting off to sleep, but I find myself that simple word games in my head can help me get into that drowsy frame of mind - naming flowers or girls' names with successive letters of the alphabet, three letter-words from A-z, then four-letter ones, etc- splitting a 7 or 8 letter word into two smaller ones - boring, simple and repetitive - can really help clear the mind and let sleep flow in. You could tell her how that helps you on sleepless nights and maybe she will give it a try.

Good luck. Mums are precious. I miss mine every day.