Dieting for 11 yr olds - your advice please

[roisin]

ds1 (11) is overweight - not drastically, but he is getting decidedly chubby around his tummy, and I would like to nip this in the bud.

Next week dh and I will start serious dieting again, and I would like to encourage ds1 to join in in some way.

Please give your opinions as to which of the following I should/should not do with ds1:

1. Exercise more (I guess this is the obvious one. He has a very sedentary lifestyle.)
2. Eat more of certain foods and less of others
3. Ban some foods completely
4. Keep a full diary of what he eats
5. Count calories, or some other scheme
6. Weigh him regularly (say weekly)

1-4 especially 1

not 5 or 6 deffo.

i am of the strong opinion IME that children get in shape rather quickly with exercise.

my neice was a fatty before she moved here - whee she has to walk to and home from school each day - she is now aged 15 size 12 - perfectly reasonable.

my dd has her fathers natural build but she is slim and in proportion becuase she walks and cycles and has a paperround.

ds1 is like that yukky guy from red hot chilli peppers or iggy pop he is thin, but he is moving, cycling, walking all the time.

I think it is VERY common for 11 year old boys to get a bit pudgy round their middle - I work with that age group of boys, and it often happens just before a massive growth spurt - they suddenly grow loads, get broader shoulders etc. So I wouldn't worry un-necessarily, but just make sure food available is healthy, and he gets lots of exercise. I wouldn't make a big deal of it at all - so I would do number 1 and 2, without him realising and not do any of the others.

I think cutting back on junk food, substituting crap for healthy snacks, and also upping the exercise are all you need to do.

And if you do it as a New year thing for the whole family, he won't feel 'in the spotlight' if you like.

Good luck!

ds2 - should add skating, he is skating all the flippin' time.

Also agree 11 years old is a common age for filling out around the tum..as he grows and stretches up it will even out.

I really wouldn't make him aware of it at all - it really isn't healthy for an 11yo to be on a diet, as such. I think that the general wisdom at this age is to maintain weight and let the height growth take care of any slimming down.

I would just make healthier meals served with loads of veg, not buy anything at all for snacking other than fruit, no squashes or sugary drinks, sweet money once a week only.

Do family cycle runs, walks, swimming trips etc at every opportunity.

You don't need to weigh him, you can tell by the fit of his clothes whether he is slimming down.

I had a friend whose DS blimped at this age and then had a HUGE growth spurt a few months later which turned him into a rake again!

gwet him exercising
don't buy any crap so there are no tempatations-and by that i mean n biscuits/sweets/chcoclate-anything

fill the fridge with tons of fruit/veg/healthy snacks

don't cout calories, dn't keep weighing him, don't make him very aware that he is ON A DIET

I would call it a health kick rather than a diet at that age, you don't want him conscious about and worrying about weight.

Watch his portion sizes, cut right back on junk food and try to get out and about as a family, swimming would be good, or a walk or kick about in the park.

Not much experience of 11yo boys (yet!) but if you were talking about a girl I would say definitely don't do 4, 5 or 6. I had an eating disorder as a teenager and it started with this kind of thing, very dangerous imo.

Emphasis should be on healthy eating, reasonable portion size and plenty of exercise. And on becoming more healthy, not losing weight.

1. Yes
2. Yes
3. No - bans are counter productive imo. If you push 'healthy eating' rather than 'dieting' you'll have more ammo for the "Why can't I have....?"
4. Hmmm.....I wouldn't bother tbh. Hard to know at his age what he eats in your absence.
5. Again, wouldn't bother. I'd go for 'healthy' and see the results of that before I go to the bother of counting calories. Cut down on junk and fat. Read ALL packaging - they do like to sneak the fat in when you're not expecting it imo. See nearest sliced loaf.
6. Nope. In a month or so, check his weight and height. Then in another month. You'll know more from looking at him imo.

I would also check up on the amount of calories he's supposed to be having. As I said I wouldn't count calories, but I would be aware of them.

A lot depends on how much he's aware and/or compliant. I'd give it a month and if it's working, stick with it. If you don't think he's lost weight, then start to get more organised.

Please bear in mind, this is coming from someone who is quite disorganised and lazy

Please please don't make him think he needs to diet. I remember being made to take part in a "sponsored slim" at around 10 or 11. I remember being fed bran flakes for breakfast (ick) and basically being repeatedly told by inference that I was fat. It made me feel pretty awful, and it was the start of me accepting that I was fat - so when I really did get fat, I accepted it - after all, I was already fat so what did it matter if I was a bit fatter.

I understand you care for your son and want to do the best for him, but from personal experience you'd be much better off not saying anything about your concerns, and just implementing some family rules for healthy eating, and some exercise - together as a family.

Good luck with your own diet anyway!

The main thing about dieting is that it doesn't work. It just doesn't. (Simply by saying that you and DH are dieting again gives the game away!)

Don;t diet (you or your kids). Don;t count calories. Just eat more healthily and take up some family sporting activities / walk more, and you will all benefit for much longer.

Dont ban.
Dont weigh.
Dont calorie count.

Oh thank you all so much: you have backed up my gut reactions, but this is what we've always done, and he's got so chubby, so I was wondering if we had got onto the wrong track.

His diet is actually pretty healthy, but he does have large portion sizes, and recently he's started snacking in the evenings.

Obviously we've had loads of junk around for Christmas/New Year and we seemed to get a huge amount of chocolates, sweets and biscuits given this year. But once we've finished it all off, the house will revert to its normal state - no crisps or biscuits, just a few cakes.

Dont mention the D word or weigh him.
Dont buy any cakes, biscuits, sweets, crisps.
Do buy more fruit and leave it around.
Do get him to exercise more.
can he walk to school?

He can't walk to school, and I think this is making the big difference tbh. At primary he always walked there and back, and at c.0.7 mile each way, that was a significant amount of exercise each day, plus enforced outdoor playtimes too.

He's now at secondary and it's a bus journey away, but not far to the bus stop at either end iyswim. Theoretically he could cycle, but he's not very confident on his bike, and his bag is usually quite heavy, so I really don't think he's ready for that yet.

We tend to do quite a bit of hiking as a family, but not much at this time of year. I need to make an effort to do more active things in the evening and at weekends.

My dd is at secondary school, and now gets 1 sport session per week! Fortunately she can walk there.

Evening sport classes? they are difficult to get the chidlren to, if they can't walk there though.

There is a leisure centre very close (easy walking distance), with a youth gym and swimming pool.

There's certainly no excuse.

I just need to work on motivating us both at that time of day! Well all three really, because ds2 will have to come as well.

I guess if I plan a regular timetable, that would work best for us.

You say you don't do much hiking at this time of year. Have you heard the saying that "There is no such thing as bad weather; Only inappropriate clothing" It's not entirely true - just think ice storms, hurriacaines...

Does your ds have a pannier on his bike that he could put his school stuff in? Does the school do road sense for cyclists? I think it used to be done by the police.

If it wouldn't hurt you too much, you could be brutal and turn off the central heating!

How would turning off the central heating help him to lose weight?

hee hee
Well dh took them out today for about 4 hours and it never got above freezing. But they were ambling about between hides (birdwatching) rather than doing anything closely related to exercise! They've got the gear and don't mind being cold ... but I do!

I am just realising that he is seriously unfit though. We got a Wii Family Trainer for Christmas, and he just collapses exhausted after doing the 'heavy exercise' or whatever it's called for just 5 mins.

That's great that they're out of the house! You need to be doing some kind of physical activity when you're outside or you'll get cold!

I think ski clothes are properly insulated. Really, with warm enough clothes, the outside is great!