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Original poster

Not sure if I am posting this in the wrong place but here goes! Would you tell DDs teacher that she has started her period?

44 replies

pinkbubble · 29/12/2008 22:04

DD2 is in YR6, bless her, although she is one of the eldest in her class, maturity wise she is still fairly immature.

Just really feel for this young lady, guess its a bit of a shock for both of us, just wondered if I told her Teacher just in case it happened at Sch she would have a port of call. Don't think I could tell her TA as she is a bit hard to talk too.

I keep thinking that in 9 months time she will be at Secondary Sch, I know I definately wouldn't tell Teachers there. Guess I am not ready yet for DD2 to grow up yet - unfortunately her body is telling me otherwise!

Sorry if I have posted this in the wrong place, have no idea where to post it.

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Fivesetsofschoolfees · 29/12/2008 22:06

I think it is a good idea to let the teacher know - it certainly won't do any harm.

littleboyblue · 29/12/2008 22:07

Maybe. My best friend had her period when we were still at primary. Would you tell your dd you've told/plan to tell teacher so she knows she has someone to talk to?

TheOtherMaryPoppinsDiets · 29/12/2008 22:07

If you think she might not be able to cope if she suddenly comes on then yes. Is she quite good with sorting herself out?

abbierhodes · 29/12/2008 22:08

Yes,I would. At primary school it is quite unusual,so it would help her to have someone to turn to. Teachers will be discreet and supportive.
There will be no need at secondary school, as facilities are already available, and there is usually a nurse or first aider to go to if she needs pads in an emergency.
I am a secondary school teacher btw.

wilkosroastingonanopenfire · 29/12/2008 22:08

my first reaction was NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

but i think you are right that she may need some support at school

maybe tell the teacher she has started her period and to keep an eye on her, but in no circumstances to mention that she knows to your dd?

MyDingalingmerrilyonhigh · 29/12/2008 22:08

As a year 6 teacher, i have been told by many parents when their daughter has started her periods. I think it is a good idea to tell your DD's teacher so, as you say, she has a port of call if she needs it.

ramonaquimby · 29/12/2008 22:08

Yes I certainly would - just keeps the teacher in the know

Original poster
pinkbubble · 29/12/2008 22:13

Thanks guys, really appreciate the advice.

Poor DD2 this morning was shaking and sobbing. Luckily since then she has got on with it. Think its going to cost me a fortune in sanitary towels though! she had gone through 7 by lunch time (least of my worries)

This is such a shock as although she is fairly advanced in body development, she is such a slight thing, and no way does she way 7 stone - more like 4 stone! so that blows my theory out of the window! (I was watching DD1 weight and she did start around 7 stone)

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Original poster
pinkbubble · 29/12/2008 22:14

way!!!! should say weigh!!!!

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IllegallyBrunette · 29/12/2008 22:16

I would tell them yes, but can i ask what you'd do if the teacher were male ??

Dd is in yr6 and i'd not be surprised if she started her periods soon, but her teacher is male and i know she'd not want me to tell him.

I think there is a pastoral person who dd likes, could I tell them ?

Sorry for hijack.

Original poster
pinkbubble · 29/12/2008 22:17

I guess you could speak to the pastoral person or even her TA, I just know DDs TA is really not the most subtle of people and not very motherly IYKWIM!

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solidgoldstuffingballs · 29/12/2008 22:19

FInd out first who your DD most likes and trusts if she isn't that fond of her class teacher (ie school nurse or someone?) If she's that young then it would be a good idea for her to have someone in school to turn to as AF is often pretty irregular in young girls so she might not always know when it's going to happen.

ChasingSquirrels · 29/12/2008 22:19

mooncup?

Original poster
pinkbubble · 29/12/2008 22:22

There is no sch nurse. She has job share for Teachers, both are lovely - one is as mad as a hatter, the other very calm etc. I would tell the 2nd teacher and ask her to pass on information I think.

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Original poster
pinkbubble · 29/12/2008 22:23

Mooncup!!! I have never tried one of those!

TBH, I would love some advice on sanitary wear for her as regular sanitary towels are like nappies on her!

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ChasingSquirrels · 29/12/2008 23:43

if you don't use one then maybe more difficult to sell - but I am converted. If I had dd's I would definately go down that route.
Don't think I ever used pads, straight to tampax.
How much is she bleeding - would liners contain it?

islandofsodor · 29/12/2008 23:45

My dh has had several parents tell him of their daughter's periods. He has always been very discreet and usually the child was not aware that he knew.

lilolilbethlehem · 29/12/2008 23:56

pinkbubble, I started in Yr 6 and "looking at the evidence" think my Yr 6 DD will start soon.... have just been thinking about preparing her for the eventuality:

i) she will go back to school with a discrete panty liner and spare pants plus wipes and nappy sack hidden in her school bag plus a chat about what to do if it happens and I'm not there

ii) a discussion about who she will go to in school when it happens - unlikely to be her form teacher even tho she's female, more likely a previous teacher DD gets on with really well

Obviously your DD is past that already. I still think you should let the class teacher know, discretely. There might be times when she has to leave the classroom/might not want to do games/might want to go and search out a teacher she can confide in. Am sure yr 6 teachers are used to this and would rather know than put your DD (and themselves) in an embarrassing position.
When it happened to me, mum wrote to my teacher (male) who told me to go and talk to the school secretary, who was WONDERFUL!
I think DD will know who to go and talk to in her school but am planning the chat about that in the next few days.

A favour please pinkbubble: please look out for me when I am posting on this subject in the coming months. Good luck to you and your daughter on this in the meantime

Original poster
pinkbubble · 30/12/2008 10:33

Lilo, of course I will lookout.

She too heavy for just a panty liner. Not sure she is ready for tampax yet, took my other DD at least a year of having AF before using them, plus she was 18mts older when she started in the 1st place.

Thanks guys

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SpaceTrain · 30/12/2008 10:43

i started my period in primary school (just before the school trip) and would have been mortified if my mum had told my teacher. But then I was a very mature 11 year old, and probably coped with getting my period very well compared to most. You know your daughter best, so trust your instinct.

Oh, and I went to tampons (Lillets) almost immediately. I hated panty liners, and like your daughter, my period was very heavy to begin with and i was soaking through them very fast.

I am now an avid Mooncup fan, so it's definitely an option to consider. The best thing about it for your daughter, would be that she wouldn't have to carry panty liners/tampons into the toilet when asking to leave class etc.

FourArms · 30/12/2008 11:01

I don't often use tampons as I find they make my period pain a lot worse. I've found Always Ultra long to be the best sanitary towels. They have the wings on the sides. Your DD could probably get away with the normal size though. I have the 'night' version too for overnight as they're longer still, so perhaps the normal for day, and long for night might suit her?

Would agree with telling her teacher. We were advised to during that talk at school. I started at 10 so a bit earlier than the usual and was regular as clockwork from then on.

Tortington · 30/12/2008 11:09

yeah let the teacher know. remember to tell her tricks of the trade - like putting school jumper around your waist if you think you have leaked.

using toilet paper if you are caught unawares.

my daughter was absolutley thrilled tog et free sanitary towels through the post - if you go on some of the manufacturers sites - they give free ones away sometimes.

my daughter read the sites for info ( scan read) and ordered the free ones. set up a seperate account for this if you can becuase you do get lots of junk mail.

I bought dd a new outfit as i wanted to make it a celebration, maybe you can do something like that - necklace or something that signifies she is a woman and its to be celebrated.

Original poster
pinkbubble · 31/12/2008 00:06

Will let her know about the jumper Custardo.

Also will look into the manufacturers sites about getting samples - she may find something that suits her petite build other than what I have given her.

I am amazed so far how she has coped with this so far, because when she came into my bedroom sobbing yesterday morning, I honestly thought we were in for a real rough ordeal! So well done DD2 (even if its costing me a fortune in sanitary towels!)

Will definately have to think about tampax/lilets etc as she is heavily into dance.

Trouble is she looks so young and petite I hate having to discuss these things with her. I guess it doesn't help her being best friends with her younger sister who is 8, and all morning the have played quite happily at Sylvanian Families.

we have tried our hardest as parents to try and make DD2 a bit older, trouble is she is not actually ready yet!

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katemash · 31/12/2008 12:32

Pinkbubble, you poor thing. I don't have any experience with daughters (yet!) but I'm a specialist childrens hormone nurse and I see a lot of girls in my clinic with early puberties - much younger than year 6! We always recommend for the parents to tell a trusted someone at school if the girl has started her periods at primary school - it will hopefully provide someone to be there who will be more understanding, ie, the need to miss swimming, the need for extra facilities - ie, for the disposal of sanitary products, etc etc, although it really does depend on the situation. You'd be surprised, but girls starting their periods at primary school is becoming more and more common, and more primary schools are gearing themselves up for such eventualities. There's also some great books out there for younger girls that give great advice - I can't remember off hand, but I have them at work - I'm back next week so can give you the titles then, if thats any help? Easily obtainable from amazon. Best thing though is mummy cuddles

Original poster
pinkbubble · 31/12/2008 19:27

That would be great to get some titles of books. I have now realised that when I had had a chat with DD2 she didn't know what on earth I was talking about!

Thanks katemash

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