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Talk to me about about sterilisation (please) .....

43 replies

SpaceTrain · 23/12/2008 10:24

I am pretty content that this pregnancy will be my lat, bar any tragedy happening to to the children.

I am therefore thinking that when I have my c-section I might ask them to tie my tubes at the same time.

However, I was wondering if there is a way that they could do this that could potentially be reversible in the future (if any tragedy were to befall our children and I felt the need for another as a result)?

I'm also not sure what the effects of such a procedure would be? Does it effect you hormonally?

Has anyone had it done and regretted it?

Thanks in advance for any advice/insights you can give.

OP posts:
Jux · 24/12/2008 15:24

FWIW I knew while I was pregnant that I wasn't going to do it again, but I waited until dd was 4 before getting it done - just to make absolutely damn certain and to be sure that I wasn't making decisions because of hormones.

I was 45 by then, and even then the hospital staff and consultant were very anxious to make sure that I wouldn't change my mind later and tried hard to persuade me to have the coil fitted instead.

There have been moments when I have almost regretted it; when dd has asked me for a brother or sister, or when I've been absolutely exhausted and thought "well, if I had had another, at least they could play together instead of me having to do this, or this etc to keep her occupied". You obviously won't have that only child regret (which actually I don't really have - just occasionally guilt gets me, though I know she's better off with two parents together rather than one sibling and parents divorced, which is what would have happened).

I would wait until you're past the 18m mark and have the coil meanwhile.

expatinscotland · 24/12/2008 17:50

if you can use the coil then by all means try it out.

i can't do progesten so it's out for me.

if someone tried to tell me i couldn't get sterilised by had to have a coil i'd raise all manner of hell till i got the friggin' op.

the coil is not an option for everyone.

NomDePlume · 24/12/2008 17:56

Why can't you use the copper coil, expat ? I can't use hormonal contraception either due to history of cerebrovascular and cardiovascular illness, but I can use the copper coil

NomDePlume · 24/12/2008 17:59

ah, sorry expat, just spotted your reasoning for the copper coil further down the thread

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 24/12/2008 18:24

Yes, I tried the coil and had 2 bad experiences. The Mirena one sent me into "labour" and afetr 6hours I gave "birth" to it. It was horrendous, as bad as childbirth.

Then I had very bad, heavy periods after the copper coil was fitted. I got an infection and ended up having to have surgery under a GA to have it removed.

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 24/12/2008 18:25

Meant to say, I would try the coil first though. I only got sterilised as it wa sthat or never have sex again, or have 15 kids. I can't do hormonal contraception.

lou33 · 24/12/2008 19:44

it's because immediately after pregnancy your tubes are more swollen, so my gynae man said, and if they clip you then, there is a chance the swelling of your tubes will leave a small chance of the clips not being properly secure once it all settles back to normal, hence a higher failure rate if done then.

he said from 3months after is best

SpaceTrain · 24/12/2008 19:47

Why is contraception so difficult? I mean, all these options we have developed over the years, yet none of them are ideal. Grrr.

It's at times like this I envy my lesbian friends. never have to worry about unplanned pregnancies!

OP posts:
Gunnerbean · 25/12/2008 22:03

Why not make life easy for yourself and just get your DH done instead?

A much quicker procedure and much easier to get reversed if you need to (although I think that the NHS should nto pay for any reversals).

I'm a firm believer in it being the default position that the man should be in such circumstances.

Women have to go through more than enough in the reproductive stakes as it is without having to endure more while men get to sit back and watch.

I have to say as an aside that personally I really struggle with the concept that if one loses a child you simply replace it with another. They're human beings not goldfish! I just can't get my head around it on any level.

asicsgirl · 26/12/2008 19:16

i'd like dp to get 'done' but he is worried (and tbh so am i) about the small number of men who have unexplained chronic pain after the op. nothing they can do about it apparently. i know it's a small risk but...

so i am thinking hard about sterilisation too as now ds2 has arrived we're sure our family is complete. my mum had it and completely recommends it. i had mirena for a v short time but it sent me loopy, i hate hormonal methods so it's that or crossing my legs i think!

Gunnerbean · 26/12/2008 21:52

Oh asicsgirl pullleeeeeessse!!!!! He's worried about the "small number of men who have unexplained chronic pain after the op" and so are you!! Do me a favour

There are risks with female sterilisation too you know.

It is a procedure which is most usually performed under general anesthetic (unless done as part of an elective c-section, which incidentally a lot of obstetric practitioners are not happy to do because many believe that for a number of reasons, wherever possible, sterilisation should be performed after an appropriate interval following pregnancy). Having a GA carries risks by itself.

Female sterilisation is a far more complicated and invasive procedure than vasectomy which is performed under local anesthetic and often does not even require admission to hospital and can be carried out in the treatment room at a GP practice. Sterilisation is usually done using the key hole laparoscopic method. This carries the risk of damage to other organs within the abdomen such as bowel and bladder which may necessitate opening up the abdomen to put right at the time.

Some surgeons use clips and rings to block the tubes (as opposed to severing them or burning them to seal them closed) and some women suffer complications with post operative pain due to the these clips and rings which can last for months. If the pain does not resolve it can necessitate a further operation to remove the tubes altogether.

There is a risk that if the sterilisation is not successful and the tubes rejoin, there is a far higher risks that any subsequent and resulting pregnancies would be ectopic. Ectopic pregnancies can be life threatening for women.

Failure rates for female sterilisation are around 1 in 200 (and slightly higher if the procedure is performed at the same time a C-section is done) as opposed to 1 in 2000 for vasectomy.

A vasectomy is much easier to reverse than a sterilisation. The reversal of a sterilisation would be a major operation as it would require access to the abdomen. It carries a success rate of around 1 in 10. Rates of success for reversal of sterilisations are also lower if the sterilisation was originally performed at the same time as a C-section.

Periods can also be heavier following sterilisation too.

The incidence of post-vasectomy pain is relatively rare and often spontaneously resolves after a few months. It has also been argued by some urologists that a lot of this pain is psychological.

What about women? How long does it take for a woman to feel entirely back to normal and free of all traces of discomfort after giving birth? Weeks, months or maybe even never after some extremely traumatic and complicated births.

Bearing in mind all these factors, most practitioners encourage couples who are considering a permanent method of birth control to consider vasectomy before female sterilisation.

I tend to agree.

If I were you asicsgirl, I'd tell your DP not to be such a bloody wuss and get himself along there. He needs a kick up the arse, not you humouring and encouraging him to let you take all the strain.

He sounds like he's only thinkig of himself to me and you're being far too accommodating!!

asicsgirl · 26/12/2008 22:05

crikey!

ElectraInExcelsis · 26/12/2008 22:11

I'm considering this too, as this is my third pregnancy, abortion is not an option for me and I seem to be extremely fertile. This pregnancy came to be because I had a copper coil that came out. But sterilisation seems very final and I'm still quite young - 28.

Gunnerbean · 26/12/2008 22:47

Never trust a coil - at the end of the day the body will always view it as a foreign body and will try to expell it. That's why it's vital to check regularly to feel the threads to checks that it is still in place.

The scary thing is that it doesn't need to be very far out of place from where it is supposed to be high up in the neck of the womb for you to actually get pregnant.

If you must have a coil have the hormonal type, far more reliable than the normal non hormone releasing metal ones.

SpaceTrain · 26/12/2008 22:48

Gunnerbean - in no way do I view my children as goldfish

They are not replaceable at all, so it is not a case of "simply replacing" them.

Let me tell you a family story. My dear SIL had always wanted 3 children. It was how she always pictured her family. 4 years ago, she felt her family was complete upon the birth of her 3rd child. Tragically, however, he died of cot death at 11 weeks old.

Had you asked her after Matthew's birth would she have another, she would have said no, her family was complete. But she has now gone on to have another child. Not to "simply replace' Matthew. But because she wanted to.

It is with her tragic story in mind, that I can never say never. How do any of us know how we would react if we lost a child? But to insinuate that keeping options open to allow you to deal with any such tragedy in a way which best suits you and you family, means that you view your children as replaceable as goldfish is insulting and heartless.

I really hope my SIL doesn't MN, as views like yours would destroy her.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 26/12/2008 22:48

problem with vasectomy here is that my husband would need to travel quite a distance to get one AND to give samples till he got the all-clear.

v. my getting sterilised and it's done in teh day.

ElectraInExcelsis · 26/12/2008 22:50

Yes Gunnerbean - that's true - agree about it being a foreign body, makes sense really. I did check the threads every month and as soon as I noticed it had moved I went to the clinic but I had already conceived.

Gunnerbean · 27/12/2008 23:32

Hi Spacetrain

I think that you've answered your own question with your story...

If you have any inklig whatsoever that you might want another child in future (for whatever reason) then sterilisation is not for you.

The possibility that a woman might regret having the procedure done is the principal reason for practitioners withholding consent to do it.

And if you're looking for the easiest procedure to reserve with the highest success rate - vasectomy wins hands down.

I'm sorry if my goldfish analogy upset you or your SIL. It's just that your comment "if any tragedy were to befall our children and I felt the need for another as a result "seemed a little flippant to me...

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