Friend just diagnosed with breast cancer - help/advice much appreciated

[ClausImWorthIt]

Lump was picked up during a routine mammogram. Initial prognosis was good, as it was a very small lump, and they were fairly certain there would be no need to remove any lymph nodes. However, during the op to remove the lump, they discovered that it has spread, and therefore would seem to be a very aggressive cancer.

It's now looking likely that she will have to have chemotherapy, and she is terrified of this. I'm not sure exactly what she's frightened of or if it's just a general fear, but I was wondering if there was anything that could help her get through this and make it slightly better for her?

My mum went through this back in 2001 (sadly she later died in 2004 from advanced breast cancer), and she found acupuncture really helpful as it kept her energy levels up - but I'm also aware that in the last 7 years there may well have been advances in the whole process/treatment anyway.

What would you suggest?

Anyone?

aWW cLAUS.a VERY RELIABLE WEBSITE IS cANCERBACKUP.

Sorry for shouting!

Hopefully your local trust will have specialist breast care nurses.If your friend rings the hospital switchboard they should be able to put her through. xxxx

I'm sorry your friend is going through this.

My mum is over a year down the line now and has had a good initial checkup that shows no sign of recurrence of a fairly aggressive tumour. Like your friend, the lump(s she had 2) were very small but the tumours turned out to be quite aggressive with spread to one lymph node. She had a mastectomy and removal of the lymph nodes in that arm.

Every case seems to be different including the type of chemo that will be appropriate, and different chemo regimes will have different side affects (and people will react differently to the same drugs!). What my mum found was that chemo was not nearly as awful as she'd feared and that was partially down to the doctors and her breast nurse taking any side affects very seriously and almost always being able to find something to ameliorate them. I suspect in the last 7 years there will have been massive progress in helping people with the side affects of chemo/treatment.

I hope things go as well as possible for your friend. My mum started chemo just before christmas last year so I know it's a shitty time to have all this going on - having said that, we still had a great time - I just had to do all the cooking for the first time in my life (was scary!)

My friend has just finished a year of chemo and radiotherapy for aggressive breast cancer (she also has to take Herceptin for a further year). She said that the expectation was worse than the actual treatment. Although she's had some side effects, she's managed to lead a remarkably normal life throughout.

There are a number of complementary centres throughout the UK (eg the Penny Brohn (sp?) centre in Bristol) which aim to provide therapies alongside conventional medicine - if your friend could access one of these it might help?

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April this year and have nearly finished my treatment. I had a grade 3 aggresive tumor and had chemo first. It was hell - no other word for it. The steroids made me very paranoid (something no one warned me about)and i caught lots of silly infections due to my immunity being so low. HOWEVER, i am now the other side of it and having just had a mastectomy, i am feeling great. I didnt look into "alternative" remedies , but my sister in law gave me an invaluable piece of advice - she kept telling me that i had to "own" the cancer and not let the cancer own me. It made me feel like i was in control and in charge. It helped me anyway. Do you know what combination of drugs she is going to have?

No - it's all a bit too soon. She is seeing the oncologist on Wednesday and we'll get an update then.

She's terrified and not handling it well at the moment. She has come home from hospital today, so I may try and go and see her tomorrow, just depending on how things are.

Thanks so much for the advice.

Just seen this. You know, chemo is hard, no doubt about it, but the meds for the side effects can really work well. My step grandmother just felt tired throughout chemo. It does depend on the chemo drugs she is going to have, however - some are less hard work. My experience with FEC was that it was really awful for about 5 days, then I just felt tired and a bit delicate for a week, then I felt ok until the next cycle came around at day 21. The effects can be cumulative, and I found that by cycle 5 and 6, the time that I felt really awful had increased to about 9 days. But still felt OK for the rest of it (apart from the time my dd, then 3, got d&v and gave it to me in the last week of the cycle - i just felt crap the whole three weeks then!).

Your friend might be scared of the media portrayal of chemo - for me, it wasn't that bad. I did take some time to get my head around the fact that all my hair was going to fall out. But no-one points or stares and once I realised that nobody thought I looked spectaculally different from everyone else, I was fine.

Hope things have moved on a little for your friend now and she is starting to feel less frightened.

Thanks, lalaa.

I think part of the problem is that my friend has a medical background so knows more about chemo/meds than many of us may do.

I haven't spoken to her recently because we've all been caught up in the pre-Christmas whirl, but I do know that she is having a scan to see if there is any evidence of cancer elsewhere, and that her chemo starts in the New Year.

Unfortunately, as my mother died from breast cancer, I'm not a good person to talk to really as I can't talk about positive outcomes.