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Original poster

umm... urinary incontinence!? help please... TMI warning

26 replies

beaniebaby25 · 10/12/2008 21:46

hi. This is very embarassing. I'm only 26, have no children, yet I have a really bad problem with holding on to my wee.

I think I drink a normal amount of water a day (around one and a half litres), go to the loo what seems a normal number of times (4/5?) but sometimes, maybe once every few days, I won't be able to either get to the loo in time - i just HAVE to go, I get about a 3 minutes warning. It happens most when I'm walking home from work, will get 5 minutes away and just have to go. I will end up wetting myself. this is really embarassing and i'm too ashamed to go to the doctor yet. This is happening more and more frequently, to the point where I'm getting worried about going out because a) i have to know where the toilets are and panic if i think there'll be a queue, and b) I don't drink as much because i'm worried people will notice i'm going to the loo often, and c) whether i'll have an 'accident' on the way home.

I've ignored this for ages - probably been going on for about 6 years? - and I hit a low point tonight, which has made me post on here.

I was round my friends house, and really needed to go to the loo even though I'd only just got there. I get conscious about the number of times I go to the loo at friends' houses, and so I tried to postpone the urge. Thought I'd made the urge go away, so left it another ten mins and stood up to go, 'casually' rather than dashing IYSWIM, and I was standing finishing the conversation and i felt dripping by my feet. she didn't see, but I didn't even feel it come out

I dont know what to do. just looked online and saw that if i went to the GP then his examination might involve a vaginal, pelvic and rectal exam which sounds hideous.

I've tried doing kegel exercises but can't seem to stick to them ... do i just really really try to remember and stick with it?? or is there anything else i can do? I'm getting desperate.

sorry for long post if anyone's still reading

OP posts:
MadameCheese · 10/12/2008 21:52

don't be sorry. Could you make an appointment with a female GP?

wrinklytum · 10/12/2008 21:55

AWW Is there a female GP at your practice?Would you feel any better if you could see a female?How about appt with female practice nurse instead?Initially they may just do urine tests etc before going for anything more invasive to rule out infection etc.

The other thing would maybe see if you could contact a local NHS continence clinic direct and see if you could self refer??

My dp has had severe continence probs over last year due to rare illness and I can relate to the feelings of embarrassment as he too is young and has found it really embarrassing.

However,I think that if you sought help then things can be done to help you with it alland in turn you will be ablre to control the situation.

Hugsxx Wrinkly

Original poster
beaniebaby25 · 10/12/2008 21:55

I've been ignoring it for so long that I've never bothered... but tonight was the kick i think i needed but I'm scared they'll do this pelvic exam, which from what I just read includes: " The uterus womb and ovaries are felt with the fingers to detect swellings or other abnormalities."

BLEEUUGHHH can't think of anything worse. Is there any other way!? I suppose i should bite the bullet and just go

OP posts:
MadameCheese · 10/12/2008 21:58

Honestly I would make the appointment. You've got to think that this would be the first step to finding a resolution to the problem. She/he could then refer you on to someone with expertise in this area.

Original poster
beaniebaby25 · 10/12/2008 21:58

thanks madame and wrinkly... i think i'll ring tomorrow and try and get an appointment with a female GP, and hope she goes the non-invasive route first. But won't she just tell me to keep doing the exercises and come back in say 6 months? I don't think i can take any more of it. my DP, bless him, knows i have a problem but i dont think he's aware of how much it's affecting me. which i've realised tonight it does affect me, and it's really knocking my confidence

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 10/12/2008 22:00

it sounds like "urge incontinence" bb25

do a google search on that, see if you recognize it

it is very treatable, but you will have to see your doc, it won't just go away

btw, have you ever had a smear? A pelvic exam is no worse than that. A bit embarassing but the doctors have done it a zillion times!

MadameCheese · 10/12/2008 22:01

I put off having a smear for similar reasons but found that the actual examination wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

Original poster
beaniebaby25 · 10/12/2008 22:01

thanks for confirming what i guess i already knew... off to the GP for me then. hopefully they can help me. I read today that around 1/3 of pregnant women get this problem, imagine if i get pregnant (which hopefully will be in the next few years or so ) and dont manage to treat this, i won't even be able to leave the house

OP posts:
wrinklytum · 10/12/2008 22:02

I think you need to emphasise how much it is affecting you.If she is worth her salt she will refer you to to a urologist or somesuch.Write it down if it helps.

Good luck xx

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 10/12/2008 22:03

pelvic floor exs are less useful for urge incontinence than for stress incontinence (which doesn't sound like your problem to me), although they will always be of some use

MadameCheese · 10/12/2008 22:03

Good luck beanie

Original poster
beaniebaby25 · 10/12/2008 22:04

I dont really mind smears, I have had regular smears since 17. Had a few irregular results but last one was about 6 months ago and it was clear.

Thanks anyfucker, i read about urge incontinence and it mostly rang true. it's so bad though, if i know i REALLY can't go like say trapped in traffic jam or something (worse nightmare) i get what i can only describe as convulsions, red in face, hot sweats, and a physical almost retching. it's horrible

OP posts:
Original poster
beaniebaby25 · 10/12/2008 22:05

thanks everyone for your comments, really appreciate it

OP posts:
Ivykaty44 · 10/12/2008 22:11

I dont know if this of help to you - it may help you feel a little more secure when out, you can get special pads to pop in your pants.

Boots or supermarkets sell them, like tena lady or such like they are special as they will absorb leakage and in a totla different way from sanitary pad.
Dont worry about buying them either lots and lots of men and woman have problems with their bladders.

Many many men that are high flyers have bladder problems in the night (chamber maids know these things) - so dont in any way think this is just you - it's an untalked about issue that effects a wide range of the population.

Original poster
beaniebaby25 · 10/12/2008 22:23

thanks Ivy thats a really helpful suggestion. I always thought 'they werr for old people' but i think i'll have to try. It might work in another way as well. My DP reckons there's a psychological element to it, ie when i know i can't go, thats when i need to the most. not sure about that, but maybe if i knew that if the worst did happen then it wouldn't necessarily mean massive embarassment. or strategic clothing placing. and so i wouldn't get so anxious about it, thus potentially helping. maybe.

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 10/12/2008 22:46

good luck bb25, hope you get it sorted (you will)

now make sure you make that call tomorrow, don't put it off any longer!

KatyMac · 10/12/2008 22:51

beaniebaby the pds are great - you can get disposables or washables (if you want to save the planet & a few pennies)

Urge incontinence can be caused by a reaction to foods/drinks so it might be worth keeping a food diary for a while to see if you have a trigger

It is also possible for it to be connected with your period so keep track of that at the same time

honestfriend · 11/12/2008 07:57

It sounds like over active bladder- have a look at www.cobfoundation.org and you will find lots of help etc.

Original poster
beaniebaby25 · 11/12/2008 08:11

thanks hf i'll have a look at that website, looks interesting. will also phone GP today, try and get an appointment for before xmas.

OP posts:
hohoholepew · 11/12/2008 08:17

I take vesicare for urge incontinence it really helps.

dreamingofagreenlawnchristmas · 11/12/2008 12:05

Urge incontinence is treatable by physio/drugs - don't go on suffering like this! You need to be referred to an expert, not just see your GP, you're way too young to have it written off as just one of those things.

If this makes you feel any better mine got no worse after having my dcs, despite having large babies (normal deliveries) so don't despair

Original poster
beaniebaby25 · 12/12/2008 10:06

Thanks for all your messages. I've booked an appointment this morning, 10.30. Apparently my GP practise doesn't have female GPs so I've opted to see the nurse first, see what she says. Will report back

OP posts:
KatyMac · 12/12/2008 14:58

How did it go?

Original poster
beaniebaby25 · 13/12/2008 16:20

Well she just said i needed to make an appointment with the doctor. So prett useless really! she told me to start doing kegel exercises. She also said that the doctor would likely refer me to either a gynaecologist () or a urologist. She also said that it might take a while to get referral etc so if i worked on my kegel exercises thaty would stand me in good stead.

She actually looked really shocked when i told her, and kept asking me if i was sure i had never been pregnant, and asked me twice if i'd had any miscarriages...! how many times do you need to say no!? anyway, hopefully i'm on the right track now to getting it sorted. I just hope the doc is more helpful

OP posts:
Original poster
beaniebaby25 · 13/12/2008 16:56

and thanks everyone for giving me the encouragement to go to the dr. if i hadn't discussed it on here i doubt i'd have taken the first steps to sorting anything out. thanks

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