A friend has told me I could be dyspraxic - help?

[lunavix]

It seems really strange writing this!

After talking with a friend today, they've suggested I ask the GP for a referral as they think it's possible I could have it, they said they see a lot of things in my life that mirror their sons, who has it.

I always thought dyspraxic people were dyslexic too which I definately am not. I can spell and count and do basic math very easily. In fact I'm one of the best people I know at those sorts of things lol!

But, the things that made her suggest it. I can't drive. After 9 years of driving lessons, I simply don't have the ability. And I forget, within a week I've forgotten every thing about driving. And no coordination to do it.

Similarly, I can't ride a bike. Again, I briefly learnt as a child, but couldn't master it. Can't swim, couldn't play any sport at all at school.

I'm really clumsy, if I reach for something I'll knock 4 things over in the process. I walk into things all the time. And I can be clumsy with little things too. Can't put makeup on to save my life, and sometimes I brush my hair and find a huge matt in it an hour later.

She also mentioned memory, I have a really poor memory. A friend asked me to go upstairs and get something at her house recently, I went up and came back down then looked at her as I couldn't remember. Did that twice! I also have a really bad mid term memory too. If I do something like write a letter, I'll start and end up on a different tangent. And sometimes when I talk I repeat the same thing a few times, and then realise as I've said it for the third time.

I don't know, it seems a bit stupid writing this, like I'm just being very hypochondriac. There's nothing wrong with me, I'm a normal mum! But my friends got me worried now.

you could well be from the examples you have given and you certainly don't have to be dyslexic to be dyspraxic. However, I'm not sure that you'll get a referral from your GP, and what it would be for. It's not an illness and it's difficult enough to get any help for a child with it (speaking as a parent of one). I don't mean to be unsympathetic and there may well be things you can do to help yourself. Try the Dyspraxia Foundation and The Dyscovery Centre websites for ideas.

I am dyspraxic but not dyslexic (but I do have Asperger's). The dyspraxia doesn't bother me that much, apart from it gives DH a good laugh as I'm so clumsy!

lunavix I have recenty been reading a lot about dyspraxia because I'm concerned about a teenager.

Things I've found useful, both to help decide if you are (seems likely), to discuss how to get a diagnosis if you want one and with real practical help for how to cope if you are

Dyspraxia Foundation www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/services/ad_symptoms.php

Dyspraxic adults forums www.dyspraxicadults.org.uk/forums/

Living with dyspraxia Mary Colley

You may also want to look at books by Madeleine Portwood, Amanda Kirby or Victoria Biggs

Well, you could be dyspraxic (my son is), but you live what sounds like a perfectly normal life, there is no 'cure' but it's not progressive or dangerous, so I'm not sure what you would achieve with a diagnosis. The great thing about being an adult as opposed to a child is that you don't have to ride or bike or be laughed at!
You can train your memory. But I have a blooming awful memory too. I think mine is just overloaded!

1 in 20 are to a degree so you may well be . Many live perfectly functional lives and, given the struggle we have to get help for our 10 year old, I suspect there would be very little nhs support available for adults unless you are at risk of harming yourself or others.

Even if your are dyspraxic, why label yourself? You are you, you share some traits in common with other groups in the population, one of these groups is possibly dyspraxic people. But think about what a diagnosis would give you. Would it be useful to you, or would it just be a label to hang onto? I don't think it's a "condition" that's treatable, and you've probably already adapted over the years to be able to live a normal life. Why waste time worrying about it?

I have a friend exactly like you except for the memory thing - she had an exceptional memory. She finds communication difficult and often rambles so much so her nik name is scooby doo! She collects things and has small obsessions for example she had to stop doing the christmas shoe boxes as one year she actually collected enough stuff for 40+ boxes. She also isn't that emphatic and often takes things you say as literal missing irony and jokes. She has never been diagnosed and leads a full life with a very respossible job.

There is very little NHS help available after primary school age but sometimes people find recognition that they are not the only one who has a problem helpful. And there is a little help for those at the more extreme end of the spectrum.

If you visit the dyspraxic adults site you'll find people who are happy to be self dignosed and other who have gone for a diagnosis. The Living with Dyspraxia book is written by adult dyspraxics and includes tips on things like what make up colours are most forgiving in not showing up smudges.

Personally I think it could be helpful to all dyspraxics to explore why some people with dyspraxia go on to live normal lives and others don't. For example our child has had a fish oil supplement since age 8 - maybe its significant, maybe not but it would do lunavix no harm to try it. It is also suggested in books about dyspraxia that gluten and casein free diets may help. A diagnosis, even a self-diagnosis, may be the door opening on an easier life.

The reason why I've brought it up is I've just started university and I'm very very unorganised. I have problems with essay writing as well, the rambling thing continues into my written work and often half way in I'll be on a different topic and nothing will link.

Also, on an aside, riding a bike was supposedly part of uni-commute lol.

I'm worried that if I say nothing to the uni, and my first lot of work is abismal and I get all confused and disorganised with it, I'll only have myself to blame for not doing anything.

Are there any study skills seminars which could help you with essay structure and planning ? I'm sure your tutor would give you some extra input on this even if you just said it was something you had problems doing without pursuing any formal diagnosis. Mind maps for example may be a useful technique.

However if you are having to sit exams it may be possible to get extra time or use of a laptop and again the tutor or student support dept (whatever they are called now)can advise, help identify if that is possible and what you would need to have had in the way of a formal evaluation to qualify. Dyspraxia is independent of dyslexia btw although they can co-exist- think of each sld as one of teh olympic rings, sometimes they overlap once or more often, sometimes they don't.

I'm studying too, and set myself strict deadlines, its the only way. Some subjects are easier than others. I try to choose "factual" essay titles which don't allow much room for rambling.

There's no study skills seminars or anything like that on essays, they only cover literacy (spelling and grammar), maths, and IT (I got 100% on each of them, much to my tutors shock so I don't know if she'll even agree this is a possibility anyways!) Those are like the only three things on this planet I'm any good at, basic spelling (good for scrabble) basic math (good for brain training) and basic IT (good for mumsnet!)

Anything more complex and I fall apart. Or sport eurgh.

I will discuss with my tutor, although when a friend mentioned her dyslexia she said she had no idea about any of it and just to go to student services (which incidentally isn't based at our berks campus but the london one!)

That's interesting about the obsessive thing. I suffered from some obsessive complusions as a child (in particular balancing, eg touching something with right hand and then left, still have that minorly), a perfectionist need when writing for words to be spelt right (I still do, I'll tear a whole sheet of work up if I spell one word wrong on it. However no worrying about my handwriting which is awful and I'm sure noone could read it spelt wrong anyways) and also one for if I think a bad thought or need luck I have to touch wood. Gets messy as then I have to do it evenly with both sides)

That's probably just me being a frootloop now and totally unrelated

I didn't learn to write a proper essay till I was 25 and had a really dedicated supervisor in college who loved language. You might get lucky like I did!

In case it's helpful, the key for me was structure structure structure. I can't just start writing otherwise I can ramble all over the place. I write 3 bullet points - beginning, middle and end (even if they're just the words "intro", "discussion", "conclusion"). Then I expand each into 2/3 bullet points, and continue from there expanding the middle points until I'm sure you cover everything I need to. Move them about so they follow in order. Then each bullet point becomes 1-3 sentences. It's not a freestyle easy flow way of writing, but it's a way that keeps me on track (I wrote an entire thesis by this method!)

lunavix there is no need to see dyspraxia as "something wrong with me". It's different not wrong. Some universities are better than others in terms of support for dyspraxic adults - check out the dyspraxic adult forums for details of who students can see to get help. You may be able to get help with essays. And do consider changing your diet - I could go into the kitchen and forget what I'd gone there for before giving up gluten. Don't think I'm dyspraxic but my memory is certainly a lot better without gluten acting as an opiate on my brain!