PND & A Glass of Wine Heaven

[mands1]

It's been a nearly good day.I'm new to this cyber stuff but can't believe how many people are just sitting there like me suffering from pnd staring at their screen "off loading"

Excuse me but the wine is kicking in!

I can't talk about my problems to anyone and find this helpfull as i can ramble away and not feel as though i am being judged and at least with u guys (or girls as the case must be) know how i am feeling.

People give me advise like you all do and i know what your saying but I just can't help the way i feel.For instance taking the pills I've really deliberated put off and pondered the matter when i know i must take them and they are what i need.However i still feel a failure i normally am a very capable person and to me this is a real put down.As if i don't feel guilty enough, taking the tablets makes me feel as though i take the pills i must have the problem which means i am a bad mum.

Don't you find that when you drink chocholate goes down a treat if not a bit too fast.

I'm gonna go now but the thought for today is "why r men so attached to tele text?" perhaps it's the only buttons they can push right!!!!

mands1 - I think I understand what you are saying!

I nearly didn't reply to this as I didn't suffer from PND proper - just a few weeks of feeling like the most miserable failure and wanting to put dd up for adoption.

But just thought I'd say these things:

1. having a "problem" (whether it's pnd or any other thing) does not make you a bad mum. It just makes you a person who has problems. We all fall into this category sometimes, even if we are perfect mums.

2. Pills aren't the only way to treat depression (if that is what you have) - counselling and psycotherapy also work. For some people, counselling works better than pills.

hope that helps somehow, but feel free to ignore me as I may have misunderstood. Enjoy the chocolate

Mands1, No you are not a bad mother at all.

I have suffered PND for 3 years now, I stopped taking ad's several moths ago and know exactly where you are coming from.

I felt as though my brain/mind was all hazy, and the pills certainly helped me think clearly again. Do not see it as a failure to take this pills, as I have said before, if you were a diabetic and needed to take pills then you would do so without a second though.

Just remember that you are not alone, and if you ever want to email me directly, just as tech to send on your email address and I will be more than happy to chat to you.

All the best

Wow - mands1 I remember exactly how it felt. My mother abhorred anti-depressants. She felt that they were addictive and given out by GPs who did not have the skills to "tell you to get on with it". I remember watching other mums simply staring at their babies, telling me that hours could be lost in the joy of watching their child. I never felt or did that and I never understood why. My dd was almost 2 when I finally went to my GP and broke down in tears telling her how I felt. I loved my dd with all my heart, but she scared me. I didn't feel close to her, in fact I'd been contemplating simply getting up, walking out and disappearing. I felt it was all too much. I had a gorgeous life, why wasn't I happy, why wasn't I content? She prescribed pills, I tried quite a few before I found some that alieviated the "blackness". She also made me go to a counsellor which was an enormous help. Both my GP and my counsellor explained how normal it was and what a shame it had taken me so long to admit to. PND is normal and thank goodness there are pills and people out there to help. Like I said my dd was almost 2 when I went to the doctors, she's 3 on Sunday and I'm completely wrapped up in her. I often will watch her sleeping in bed or playing with her toys for hours now. I'm also 15 weeks pregnant and totally looking forward to the next one (albeit a little nervous from time to time). I was only on them for 9 months but I still have the counselling. It took me 4 months to admit to my mother but when I did it was because I felt so good about myself. If after the next little one comes along I feel like that again I would not hesitate to go straight to the doctors. I remember how scarey it was and it took me ages to tell anyone (apart from my dh of course) but trust me the pills don't make you a bad mother, they help you to not only be a fantastic one (which you probably are already) but to feel like one - which is so very very important. Brains/hormone generators can get sick too, just like other parts of the body. We take antibiotics to cure other areas, don't worry about these pills. Take care and relax.

Oh and keep talking.

My baby is 19 weeks old and very very challenging. She doesn't like much, not feeding, not visitors, not nursery, not bathing, not the pushchair, not the car, not getting changed.....not me!
Why isn't she happy, I do all the right things with her, sing, smile, go out, where ami going wrong?
Is it any wonder I feel down and what can I do about it, surely my mood will improve when and if she becomes a more pleasant baby?

See PND/panic attack thread sarita.

sarita - no it isn't any wonder you're fed up. If your baby is never happy there could be some sort of underlying medical problem and it might be worth getting checked out. Or it could just be she's frustrated (some babies perk up as soon as they can crawl). Much sympathy in the meantime though.

Also just looked at my post below and it is open to misinterpretation - just in case I meant to say that I think most of us suffer from PND to a greater or lesser extent and the extent of suffering seems to be fairly random. It is certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

Wills thanks for the reply.

You said some things that really struck a cord.You mentioned the "blackness" that is exactly how i've been feeling there is no other word.I've also had negative help from my mother regarding the tablets.She was every day commenting on "those pills and shouldn't i be off them and they were making me the way i was".My sister kept saying all i needed was a good night sleep and to "pull myself together". How can you explain to these people what it's like to wake up with the kids happy downstairs with their dad. nothing pressing to worry about only to jump in the shower and have a dark cloud cover you and sob away as i felt of desperate?

Where can i get a list of these abbreviations everyone one is using??? i thought "dd" was something you got nicked for after you left the pub!!! Back on the alcohol subject, talking of which do any of you drink on ad's.

Going to put kettle on b 4 i really go off on one.#

mands1 - on efexor I drank like a fish! Haven't touched a drop since finding out I was pregnant because I felt that I wasn't in the most tip top form prior to falling. Missing it terribly, however luckily if I even smell my dh's (darling husband) glass of red I want to heave. I was glad to help and please feel free to contact me directly. Send a mail to mumsnet tech people and they will forward it to me and I will return with my email address. I so understood what you were saying. Its a very easy statement to tell you to pull yourself together and it really makes me angry!

Wills thanks.

Darling Husband don't know about that one more like 3rd child.I will e-mail but have to go now.

mands