Why am I so tired???

[spookycharlotte121]

I am constantly exhausted. I had glandular fever just over 2 years ago and since have had 2 kids. I never have any energy, my sleep patterns are erratic and I can never settle properly untill about 2 in the morning and end up sleeping till about 10 in the morning which is unfair on the kids because they want to get up and instead have to stay in their cots and leaves me feeling very guilty.

My house is suffering because I dont really have any energy to do housework after I have dealt with the kids and Im sick of feeling like this. I try to have a good diet and eat meat and veg, I dont really do much exercise because I can never get anyone to watch the kids but do do an exercise dvd.

Im also at uni and Im worried that Im going to fall behind with my work. The previous 2 years my tutors have been very understanding with the pragnancies but im worried they wont be quite so this year and I dont feel I can keep asking for extensions because its not a realistic behaviour to have when I will have to go an get a job. I feel preety feable atm. I am about to start taking iron tablets but am worried that they will make me constipated and dont really think they are going to make a great deal of difference.

Can anyone help? I just want my life back.

If you are anaemic then iron tablets should make a massive difference, but probably best to get it checked with your gp first

Is it normal or not?

I was exhausted with 2 kids in less than 2 years and I was a SAHM, not studying, had DH to clear up the mess in the evenings when he got in from work.

I napped an hour every day with my children and still could not sit on a soft chair for longer than 15 mins without dozing off.

I think you need to try to get to sleep earlier as sleep before midnight is more restorative.

Hot bath, relaxation CD etc

Is your evening routine a bit hectic? I find I really have to wind down properly if I want a good night's sleep.

did your dr prescribe the iron for you... did he test your thyroid?

I agree with OTC.

I try to go to sleep early but I really struggle. I have bought some oils to try and help me relax so hopefully they will work. I am starting the iron tablets today. How do do they take to have an effect?

scattyspice, which bit do you agree with?

It's normal when you have 2 kids in 2 yrs?

or

Sleep earlier?

I was totally exhausted and went to see a nutritional therapist who told me that I probably wasn't getting enough protein (even though I eat fish). She highly recommended that I up my intake of eggs and also mushroom (shitake - apparently high in protein and also brilliant for the immune system) - I now also make a protein smoothy in the morning and she told me to have 10 portion of fruit/veg a day for 6 weeks (urrgh).
If you are able to see a nutritional therapist, I know they are expensive, it may just give you some useful pointers. They look at everything that has gone into your body over the years, not just food but also, antibiotics, epidurals etc etc, all of which can over time have adverse effects on our bodies. Your body / immune system has taken a massive hit in the last 2 years, not just with a viral infection but also the 2 pregnancies/ labours and maybe you also had epidurals / csections? so I think you need to really look after yourself - can you get help with the housework/cooking? If you don't feel like exercising then don't as your body is telling you something - you need to rest. Don't sweat the nitty gritty right now. Any chance you can defer your uni course (you may not wish to) - might just give you the chance to catch up with yourself?
Hope you feel well soon

thanks minkybetty. Both babies born without pain relief but with ds I had to have a spinal block afterwards because I had to have surgery to repair a third degree tear, so I dont know it that is the same as an epidural?
My family dont really help out that much. They have got better recently with babysitting so I can have the odd night off but no one in my family is hot on doing their own house work so I doubt they will want to come and do mine for me.
I am however in the process if seeing if I can get someone from homestart to come in and help me so I get chance to catch up on the housework or can study. I dont want to defer from this year of uni as it is my final year and I need to get a job and start paying back my student loan and try and save some money to buy a house with.

I had exactly the same as you, no pain relief, 3rd degree tears and then spinal block - mind you by that point, they could have sawn my legs off and I wouldn't have cared!!! All I could say (alledgedly- sorry about the spelling) was "the irony of it...48hrs, no pain relief and NOW you give me the spinal block!!!" I was absolutely done in after all that. In fact 3 days after baby I went to buy some runny cheese (as I had missed it so much during pregnancy) and when the lady asked me what I wanted I just burst into tears and said I didn't know - the choices were camembert or brie so not hard - ho hum - DH looked at me as if I was mad! 2 weekes on and All the NCT girls were busy meeting up and I was still wincing as I sat on the sofa and was too afraid to go out... 8 months in and I think I suffered mild PND and had panic attacks - fine now though) - I guess all I'm trying to say is that I think that we underestimate how hard it is and we always try and be so perfect and try to emulate some of these "uber" mothers (who let's not forget probably have an army of paid helpers or family to hand). My family aren't involved as they live abroad. DH's family, mother very old and frail and father up north with 3rd wife (and a bit of an emotional pygmy albeit a very nice man!)
I think that you should give yourself a huge pat on the back for forging on and doing your degree. You are working so hard and you will see that fantastic things will come your way for all your effort. I hope that the homestart manages to give you some relief too but in the meantime don't worry about the housework - let it go (even if it pains you to do so) - you and your health are so much more important than that, so next time you get a choice of doing the hovering or sitting down and having a cuppa, go for the latter.
I know you don't have much time to yourself, but if when you do, have you considered doing any yoga? I started doing this when I was pregnant and just continued. I love it and it's so great when I am stressed as it is my one hour of me time - mentally and physically it makes you strong and helps you let go....
anyway, sorry I have wittered on - I just want you to feel better soon - take care

Hahaha minkybetty thats exactly what I said. I had been in labour all that time and managed ok, well actually I tell a lie I had gas and air and begged them the whole time for an epidural and they wouldnt give me one and then I had to have one.... sods law really isnt it. I know that wincing feeling too.... I was still in agony when ds was 4 months old and I totally dreading going to the loo. It was like passing massive shards of glass!

Im hoping all the hard work of uni is worth it. I was looking at a few of the logistics of buying a house today and realised It really is expencive!!!! AT the moment I live in a council flat but I dont want to forever and houses are soooo expencive in bristol. I worry too much.

Anywhoo thanks for the sound advice. Its nice to know Im not alone.

Sounds to me like you're doing a great job at keeping everything together.
Actually, read in the paper last night that some property developers of new house builds were cutting their prices by 50% so you never know they could be some little gems out there... Am sure you won't be where you are forever as you clearly have ambition .

OTC - both.
I found 2 DCs in 2 yrs exhausting (and still do sometimes lol).But I agree you need to get to bed early to stand any chance of making it throughthe next day. DD is now 3.7 and starting to sleep through the night. I am starting to get my evenings back (until now I have had a bath then gone to bed not long after DCs lol).

In my experience, your life really does go on hold until your DCs are 5+.

Are you serious scattyspice 5+ - I feel like everything is falling apart and mine is only 2.

You might be luckier than me minky lol (or more organised).

Neither of mine slept throughthe night until 3.5yrs at least. DD is 3.7 and still not properly potty trained (day never mind night!), she is starting to sleep through the night and starting to not need the buggy (very late walker though).

Ds was pretty non compliant and very difficult to get to bed at night (and get dressed in the morning) until nearly 5yrs. Now he is very easy to live with (phew).

I'm sure many of these difficulties were of my own making though .

Please go to your GP and get a blood test for your thyroid, its my latest fave topic as i have recently been diagnosed. V common to have problems with under active thyroid after pregnancy apparently. Tiredness, hair loss, dry skin/hair, strange periods, headaches, sleeping problems, 'brain fog' all symptoms. Worth a try?

Hi Spooky, hope you are feeling ok. Awhile back you gave me some advice on Glandular Fever, you also mentioned that you have afternoon naps to control the tiredness. Maybe try to skip the afternoon nap (easier said then done) and eventually you may be able to settle earlier to bed.