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Original poster

when do teens start seeing GP on their own.?

46 replies

brimfull · 05/11/2008 23:20

I am taking dd to see GP about her irregular periods..but I do feel a bit like she should be doing this on her own now. She is 16 ..17 next month and quite happy to have me there..in fact I think she expects it.Am I mollycoddling her?

OP posts:
shitehawk · 05/11/2008 23:22

At 16 she is capable of doing it on her own.

She also still needs her mum for some of the more scary things - and seeing the GP about your periods when you're 16 is probably pretty scary for her.

Sometimes she still needs her mum to hold her hand - that's what you're there for.

Original poster
brimfull · 05/11/2008 23:28

thanks that's what I thought,I wouldn't go with her if I thought she didn't want or need me there..

OP posts:
gigglewitch · 05/11/2008 23:30

agree with SH.
At that age you have to decide whether you're a kid or a grown-up, and you don't have to be one or the other for all of the time.
I had to do precisely this sort of stuff on my own at 15, which was scary. I think it is fab that you are there for her. She will let you know when she's ready to do it alone.

ravenAK · 05/11/2008 23:37

Have you asked her?

Maybe she assumes you will - you say you think she expects it - you could possibly just say 'Do you want me along for this one, or shall I butt out & you can tell me what she says later, if you like?'

Original poster
brimfull · 05/11/2008 23:39

she wants me to go

I was unsure whether I should be encouraging her to go on her own or not.

OP posts:
TinkerBellesMum · 05/11/2008 23:44

She'll get to a point where she doesn't want you there, encourage her to go on her own for some simpler problems and as she gets the confidence to go alone she'll want to go on her own more.

I still sometimes take my mum with me to the GP, she comes to as many antenatals as she can and if I have an appointment for other things she will sometimes come with me too if I feel I need the support.

SlartyBartFast · 05/11/2008 23:50

i went on my own at 16 to go on the pill, however if there is something you need to say and she wants you, i don't think there is any harm in your support.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 06/11/2008 08:59

dd has lots of medical appointments. She's 15 now and we're sort of making a gradual approach to this transition, she goes in for her tests on her own now but I go in for the consult.

It's tough - I do know what you mean - she's comfortable with you there which is lovely but should you be encouraging her to go it alone? I think maybe this isn't the 'right' appointment to start with. Is it with a lady GP ?

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 06/11/2008 09:00

Perhaps you could go in to begin with - help her to explain the problem then leave them to it?

twoluvlykids · 06/11/2008 09:03

Depends why they're going. My dd (13) is going on her own for a follow up appointment with a lovely lady doctor, about eczema, as I can't get time off work.

If it was for something more serious, I would just go with her and take unpaid leave from work.

Original poster
brimfull · 06/11/2008 09:07

yes female gp

will have to stop myself from doing all the talking

OP posts:
Original poster
brimfull · 06/11/2008 09:07

it's about pcos which I have and she may also have

OP posts:
twoluvlykids · 06/11/2008 09:09

I'd go in with her, then, if she wants you.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 06/11/2008 09:10

I think if you have experience of the condition then it's probably a good thing to go with her. But keep yer gob shut

Original poster
brimfull · 06/11/2008 09:11

lol
farkin impossible!

OP posts:
jesuswhatnext · 06/11/2008 09:55

i'm glad someone asked this question! i found myself saying to my dd (16), on sunday night, that i would take her to the doctors in the morning as i thought she was coming down with tonsilitis, then, i wondered if i would actually be allowed to go in with her now?, at what point do you step away? i think i have more or less decided that i will go with her if she asks me to, otherwise i will leave her to it, particuarly if it is a fanjo releated problem i think i would have happily died rather than have my mum in the romm with me at that age.

3littlefrogs · 06/11/2008 10:05

IME 16 - though you can go in with them if they want you to. The gp should offer them the choice.

Marne · 06/11/2008 10:07

I think my mum started sending me in on my own when i was 12/13, she sent me in at 15 to ask for the pill.

stleger · 06/11/2008 10:17

I was in with my dd1 who is 15 - fainting during periods - because she wouldn't tell the gp why she was there. (Iron levels were tested, high drama getting blood, they are excellent...) My dentist sees them alone for checkups from about 8, and I only go in if there is anything to be discussed.

MaryAnnSingleton · 06/11/2008 10:26

my mum came with me when I had minor surgery and I was in my thirties ! I would go alone now.

MaryAnnSingleton · 06/11/2008 10:26

I started going to the doc on my own at about 14

emma1977 · 06/11/2008 20:37

As a GP, I find that most teenagers start attending alone between 14 and 17. It really depends upon their maturity and confidence.

I feel uncomfortable seeing under 14s on their own, although appreciate that it is necessary in some circumstances. I also find it a bit odd when anyone over 18 attends with their parents (particularly men), unless they have SEN.

If you do go with her, make sure you take a back seat and encourage her to do all the talking and get involved in any decision-making.

Original poster
brimfull · 06/11/2008 23:20

thanks emma-good to have your pov. Will keep it buttoned.

OP posts:
higgle · 07/11/2008 12:00

My ds1 -17 recently had some strange syntoms that he needed advice on - didn't seem to be completing the growing up process and all leg hair fell out - turned out he had prolactinoma - pituitary tumour which can be, hopefully, resolved with drug therapy ( bitscary though, you can go blind and infertile if it is not sorted out) He goes to GP and to see specialist for routine appointments on his own, but I went with him when he went to see specialists for diagnosis session and to discuss important things about treatment. You can always go out of the room if they want to talk about anything embarassing and it would be terrrible to leave him on his own if surgery was discussed.

TinkerBellesMum · 07/11/2008 17:01

ggirl, I've been to the GP with my sister (married and 22) because she has the same condition as me and I understand it better than her and even a lot of GPs. Because of that I can take in more than she can and explain it to her after.

jesuswhatnext there's never a point where you're not allowed to take someone, it's up to the patient. If your daughter has tonsilitis she may appreciate you being there! I had a double appointment when we both (me and Tink) had a chest infection and tonsilitis and I could barely speak!

LOL Emma, I still take my Mum sometimes (more with antenatal because of how high risk I am I appreciate someone to hold my hand) and I'm 27.