Feel free to suggest what you think is wrong with me

[WindyEnd]

Namechange

Symptoms are

Constant wind
Constipation
Windy fanjo

Any ideas?

This thread has made me laugh out loud, mainly because I'm also the not so proud owner of a windy fanjo!

It happens when I try to hold in a fart, and sometimes it just blows off of it's own accord when I move with no prior warning. God, it's embarassing! I'm absolutely dreading going back to work as I can't stop it happening. Dh thinks it's hilarious and I laugh it off but I'm seriously worried. Don't fancy asking my gp about it though

I think mine is as a result of childbirth and it doesn't seem to be improving despite me desperately doing my pelvic floor exercises.

I don't have any advice for you, windyend, but you have my sympathy. I'm watching this thread with great interest.

Windy, about your insufficent smears. If that happened last time you should be referred to a consultant to have the repeat smear test. Go get that done, sweetie, then it wont be at the back of your mind.
As for the wind, I dont know. Dont you have a nice GP you can trot along to?

In the meantime try eating a bio yoghurt daily. Really useful for a couple of chaps I know with appalling wind.

And regular laxatives. Every day, and keep going with them. Try califig if you eat a high fibre diet. Constipation is self fulfilling. You get constipated, bowel gets saggy, doesnt contract very efficiently, turd piles up, bowel gets saggier, contracts less efficiently, etc etc.

You need to get it moving, then keep it moving, whilst it re-trains itself to not be a useless bag of shit. Honestly, it needs time with stool moving through regularly to tone up.

Windy fanjo is beyond me.

Have you tried looking it up on the NHS direct website?

Thanks for the replies,will try some of the suggestions.

I do have 1 GP i could go to see but she only works 2 days a week and i get so stressed because you can never get a damned appointment at our doctors.Its like getting blood from a stone so i just think i cant be bothered.

To the other windy fanjo on this thread -has it ever happened to you at work or in public?

Will try nhs website.

keep doing your pelvic floors-it really helps!

I can't comment really as like little stawberry I had a hysterectomy and I'm like Cheddar Gorge up there -it echos and all