Diabetes, memory loss and bad behaviour

[Upwind]

My FIL was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes about three years ago. He does not control it well, and since that time has become increasingly forgetful and badly behaved. He is adamant that things did not happen, which did. He asks the same questions over and over again. His behaviour has become unpredictable, he seems much less aware of others and is sometimes aggressive and out of control. Has anyone had similar experience of a relative or friend with diabetes?

FIL eats more sugary and sweet things than he ever did before and is probably irregular about his medication, the last time I asked he had forgotten to take any that day.

My mum is like that - she's pretty good with her glucose control when she's at home, but will forget it easily if her routine is broken. I've been told she probably has the beginnings of vascular dementia. She responds very agressively if anything is mentioned about it though.

Mums main things is that you have the same conversation over and over (and if you say she's said it she won't stop), she can't remember the names of things (its like one of those childrens books where you fill in the names of all the objects having a conversation with her), and the development of this very uncharacteristic agressiveness.

My husband has type 2 as well - he is 55 years old. He is fanatical about taking his medication and eating really healthy food. He drives us crazy because going out anywhere with him involves packed lunches etc.

However, he is still forgetful and asks the same questions over and over. If he is getting to the time when he needs to eat he gets angry and very outspoken.

He takes very good care of himself but still has the same symptoms you are talking about.

My dm has type II diabetes and is quite forgetful but I always put it down to her age (almost 79)

Her diabetes is very good, so much so that our dr has taken her off all her diabetic meds as he was wary of her going into a hypo (her control is that good)

I am quite shock the two could be linked tbh.

This is really interesting - we had been wondering about vascular dementia, it was actually my BIL who suggested that the problems started just before the diabetes was diagnosed so it might be directly connected. It is not clear whether FIL's doctor is even aware of his memory loss since like cmotdibbler's Mum, FIL also gets defensive about it and seems unaware that it is the tenth time that morning he has asked some banal question.

Shabster, if it wasn't for your post I would almost be inclined to blame FIL for his own problems since he has refused to adjust his alcohol consumption and does not seem to control his eating at all - family get togethers, especially Christmas and weddings are complicated by this. Everyone tries to hide treats from him, but the real problem is that a few drinks now have a huge effect.

OMG Upwind you could be describing my husband. He has always enjoyed a drink so now if he is going out for a few pints he eats to raise his blood sugar level because, as you know, alcohol lowers it.

If he has just a couple of pints he is truly horrible.

I used to be married to a man with a brilliant sense of humour, now I seem to have an elderly man who's diabetes has changed him beyond belief.

Shabster, that must make life so difficult for you. Is it that he doesn't remember his own horrible behaviour? Is there any way of recording him in action and playing it back so he understands what you have to deal with?

In my FIL's case, I guess the alcohol consumption is due to a sort of macho pride. Yesterday his behaviour was atrocious and as we left he shook my hand, crushing it very painfully, perhaps because he did not know his own strength. My hand hurt for a long time afterwards and I just kept thinking that I could not trust him to even hold my newborn. Which will be extremely hurtful to him.

Before the diabetes he was not good in drink to be honest. But his condition has made him much worse.

He does know what he has done and said and it is, and always has been, the worst part of our 30 year marriage.

'In sickness and in health' often rings loud in my mind.

Shabster, I hope that if I am ever in your shoes I can take that attitude. My DH has already had to when I was depressed.

Shameless bump, because I would love to hear more stories or examples of where people have been able to manage their diabetes well, and not had memory loss/behavioural changes...