I don't know what to do for my friend.

[PurplePumpkinWitchyOne]

I've known my mate for years, although I haven't seen her for 2. Major dissagreement and falling out. Drugs and shit but thats not the issue.
I knew her DD2 had been diagnosed with a brain tumour 2 years ago and had started chemo when we fell out. Me and DD's had been up to hosp to see her DD2 just after the op.

Mate has just contacted me on MSN out of the blue. Her DD2's cancer is terminal. She has 10 tumours and it's spread to her spine. DD2 is in a wheelchair and is now partially deaf with visonary problems.
Her DD1 is throwing a party for DD2 on Sunday and we've been invited up. I haven't seen her for 2 years. I know it's time to bury the hatchet as she was a soulmate to me...

What the hell do I say to her? Should I take gifts?
Cancer has never ever affected me like this before.

And her DD2 is only bloody 14 years old.

Anyone affected by cancer, please pop by and say a few words. I honestly don't know what to say to her. Lest I hold her and burst into tears...but knowing my mate, she has built up huge defensive walls and won't hug me nor cry. She takes drugs to stop her from 'feeling' and letting her emotions out.

Any advice? MTIA x

Very little experience of friends with cancer, but I would say take presents and help her make good/great memories, for those will be very important to her in the future. Take the lead from her but above all be there for her in the future when she will need to let go of her emotions.

Oh fck, that's terrible. Could you just tell her that you don't know what to tell her and ask her what she needs?
Gd, how awful for her.

so sorry to hear about your friends child, I think you should go to the party, I am sure you won't be the only one who doesn't know what to say or do, forget about the past, your mate need you.
My lovely DH died from a brain tumour 20 weeks ago.

We went to the party last week and all had a wonderful time.
Obviously, her DD2 is very very ill.

She died last night. It would have been her 15th birthday next week.