Come and use your powers of persuasion to make me book a dentist's appointment

[BloodshotEyeballsintheScarySky]

I'm shit scared, really, terrified, phobic, not just a slight dislike to it. I haven't been in over 20 years. I need everything doing, root canal, fillings, bridges, crowns, bleaching. It will take years to put right and thousands of pounds.

BUT, I now have DD and she is teething and her little white teeth are appearing, all perfect. I want her to have lovely teeth, and if DH takes her every time, she's eventually ask why I don't go. And I really don't want her to have a phobia, it's not fair to her if I can avoid her feeling like I feel. And I'm frightened mine will fall out one day in the near future.

So, I want to make an appointment with DH's dentist. If I can get there for a consultation, he can tell me exactly what I need doing and roughly how much it will cost. I will put it on the mortgage if necessary just to get it done. I really want to go, really really. But this is all in theory. Picking up the phone is a different thing. So please persuade me to do it.

Go, or it will get much, much worse. You don't have to have anything done at the first appointment. Just go and have a check up and find out what the damage is. Then address the things that will cause tooth loss & poor health first.

A good, sympathetic dentist will have seen people like you loads, honestly.

Maybe consider a woman dentist: their hands are much smaller and they are not as strong so use less force! Honestly: it was a revelation the first time I saw a woman dentist!

Hi, I was exactly the same as you. I hadn't been to the dentist for over 15 years until I had my dd. I knew had to get over my fear for her sake.

I booked a women dentist and went in on my first appointment and told her I was terrified. All she did was look at my teeth and take some x-rays. You will probably find you don't need as much work as you think. I was convinced I would need every tooth pulling out, in the end I needed 4 fillings, 2 root canals and one crown.

I'm half way through the treatment now and am very proud of myself for dealing with it. Book the appointment - you can do it!

It's really silly. I'm worried they'll look in my mouth and recoil in horror at the most revolting teeth they've ever seen! But I know it'll get worse if I don't. I don't want them to tell me off either. The last time I went he gave me hell about cleaning them properly and there wasn't even anything wrong with them then

Go, it will only get worse. When I went for the 1st time in about 12years, I only needed 3 fillings. The rest was done purely for cosmetic reasons (whitening etc) and I was happy to let him do it as I was lucky enough to find a great dentist who understood my fear.

Oh.. re: the worse he will have ever seen.... the 3 fillings i needed done were replacements mainly of the old ones, iykwim, and when he took away all the old fillings leaving only the tooth showing, I was left with pointed fangs (all at the front too) .

Bloodshot you must phone

I have always HATED the dentist and I needed a lot doing too. I went to a new dentist and after being very scared (although probably not phobic), I can now sit in that chair and have pretty much anything done. I think having a good dentist makes all the difference actually.

Like you feel, I was so embarrassed at showing them my teeth as I was completely ashamed of them, but the whole experience was SO much better than I thought. Just remember they will have seen much worse, however bad you may feel yours are.

Tbh the biggest shocker is the cost, but you sound like you're prepared for quite a big bill.

Good luck,

because if you don't, this is what the dentist will be scraping off your teeth. (mine put a sample on a microscope attached to a LARGE tv screen - that did the trick here!!)

If you don't go, you will end up in my situation... I need an emergency appointment tomorrow due to my neglected tooth crumbling

Bloodshot, here is my story:
I hadn't been to the dentist for years, too scared. The wise people of mumsnet advised me to mention to my GP that i would like something to help me get over it. i thought she'd make me feel stupid but was great and prescribed me some diazepam and gave me the name of a lovely lady dentist. I went to the surgery to have a look, burst into tears at the reception, but chatted to the lovely receptionist and made an appt. I vomited on the way out, i was so het up.
however, i took my diazepam and kept my appt. the dentist was lovely and said she didnt need to look in my mouth if i wasnt comfortable with that. we just chatted and then i told her she could look. she didnt use tools, just her hands and after asking, a mirror.
I was gobsmacked to learn that apart from a good clean and 2 fillings needing replacing, i didnt need any other work.I was offered sedation but didnt want it.I went back for the cleaning, she proceeded totally at my pace (i took the diazepam again) and i was so pleased at how much nicer my teeth looked. I have an appt for later on for the fillings.
I was like you, didnt want my dd to get the fear. i never thought i'd get myself there but i am confident that i will be a regular attender and dd will have the best possible start. i told the dentist i was embarrassed at the state of them but she was greatand said she's seen allsorts.

good luck, go for it, it's really worth it.
apologies for the essay but i want you to see it can be done and mumsnet will chivvy you along.

cheers!

• see, look how shiny they are now! watsthestory- were you one of those who bullied chivvied me into going?

i thought it was you! thanks again! You see bloodshot, we're all with you.
pick up the phone....(ok, maybe wait till the morning!)

Supposing I need them all out, or I've got some hideous gum disease or the dentist vomits in the corner?

Can you tell I've got ishoos? (incidentally, MN is about the only place where I can grin freely! )

Not sure is it was me that suggested this to mankymolars or not, but get yourself to the GP before you go to the dentist. I found lorazepam worked when diazepam/temazipan didn't.

Or, find a dentist that does sedation. My one does, and if I need treatment, I can have so much sedation I can recall only going in and then coming home in the car. Obviously you need to have someone with you then

If you want to overcome your phobia (as it sounds you do), then try hypotherapy or CBT. GP should be able to help with that too...

Good luck!

I do. The dentist won't have a free appointment from now till the Olympics once I'm in the chair.

DH uses the same dentist and they have spoken about me so he's aware of my issues. I just have to make that appointment.

I do need treatment (and prob have gum disease )

i agree with watsthestory. i told the dentist that i was worried about being patronised - tut tut, have you been eating too many sweets - type of thing. she was kind and patient but spoke to me like the educated women i am, not the big baby i was being there!!
i thought i was going to need root canals, gum treatment, extractions and all sorts but it was the mank and dirt on my teeth that made them look so bad. she explained everything she was doing as she went along and asked if it was ok to do it. if yuo have been looking after yuor teeth ok, yuo'll hopefully be pleasantly surprised.
must dash, need to namechange to post elsewhere, but i'll be back to check this thread.
go for it!

OK. I don't even have to ring, DH will speak to them and get an appointment the same time as his next month. Yes, I know it's not soon enough but that's when his next check up is and it's already booked. Then he can be with me for support.

Plus there's a £200 cancellation fee!

How does that sound?

Thank you everyone

To be continued...