Any oncology/cancer nurses around?

[PussinJimmyWhoooos]

Have posted here before about MIL - cancer of the liver, pancreas and bile duct. Nearly 80 and diabetic (now insulin dependent)

She had an infection earlier in the week and they really thought she was going to go - fever with convulsions etc.

They have recently changed the antibiotics and she has improved. She has been well enough to move around and eat breakfast for the last two days. DH is delighted but I'm very wary as I think it will be shortlived given her condition (they were told a month to live 4 weeks ago this Sunday) - what do you think? I don't want to be negative to DH but at the same time, it really upsets me to see him hoping so much as I don't think it will last

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Anyone?

Just wanting to say hello and send a You are being very supportive to your husband. Take care of yourself too during this difficult time.
Sorry no advice or experience. Hopefully someone else be along soon.

inoperable cancer of liver, pancreas and bile duct will have poor outlook generally. No one can give prognosis over the internet, but if they have said weeks it's unlikely to be many months.

It's difficult when there are ups and downs like infections because you can go from very bad to better, although not good, quite quickly with antibiotics and hopes are raised but the underlying disease is unchanged.

Did they give the outlook based on the agression of the cancer or on the severity of the infection.

I would tell him to hope for the best but expect the worst. Take every day as it comes and try not to think of timescales. Each patient is different. Some defy the odds, some go faster than expected. My dad was given six months to live and survived for more than five years. Once DH reached the end of his treatment, he was told he still had a few months left and died five days later. With cancer, you get miracles and tragedies. Just live one day at a time and enjoy what time there is left.

Thanks for replying. They said she had about a month to live 4 weeks ago this Sunday. They really thought she was going to die when the infection was at its peak but she seems to have improved a lot since they have changed the antibotics. DH is so happy but I just have this feeling of dread as I don't think with the liver having a tumour, the antibotics are going to work for very long? My nerves are shot! One day up and then one day down..

Dad had several infections, including c. difficile, and at one stage was given 48 hours to live. He pulled through and was with us a good three or four months after that. It is very much one day up and then one day down. I really feel for you as it's hard to watch someone go through that. Cancer is really tough on the family and friends, not just the patient.

Mummy - sorry to hear of your losses...yes I think I'm thinking too much about it all instead of taking it one day at a time..its very draining though - he thought she was going to die a few days ago and now she's up and eating...cancer is so weird in how it affects people imo

I'm sorry you are all going through this.

I can only give a bad personal account tbh. My grandad recently passed after a long battle with bowel cancer. The week before he suddenly got a new lease of life, went out for dinner and drinks at his old local pub, visited old friends, was animated and full of conversation, then he took to bed and never got out. The mac nurses told us this can be quite common.

Thanks for your posts. DH said that she had two good days but this afternoon she had a cold sweat and had to go to bed after lunch as had no energy....I'm not surprised..I mean she is coming up to the fourth week of diagnosis and while prognosis for cancer patients is not an exact science, the down part is going to come sometime....I wonder if its now given that she had two good days? DH is so gutted though at the first sign of fever or whatever...its painful to read his hope on the text messaging iyswim?

Puss,they can only give a "roundabout" guess,people are all so individual.The horrid thing for families is all the peaks and troughs and what ifs?I wish it were a more exact science but sadly it isn't.

Hang in there sweetheart xx

Hugs to you and dh if you do them.xx

Of course we do hugs...I would hug you back but typing would be a bit ha ha!

People can be amazing.I remember a lady who defied all expectations and waited until her son flew in from abroad and died an hour after he arrived

Another who died before family could get there,quickly and unexpectedly.

Another who is still defying all odds and alive 3 years after really bad prognosis(Rare)

The worst thing is the waiting.Horrible for family xxx

I've told DH about the freephone Mac line that he could try to ring but he just won't do it...I've offered to e-mail him the info about the 5 stages of grief but he hasn't said yes to that. He's very isular with his pain and tbh, I'm rather worried about how he's going to be when he gets back. As awful as this sounds, I hope she goes while he is there as for him to have to say goodbye and leave her crying that he is leaving.....I don't want to think about it