MOL has ovarian cancer and we have just learnt it's inoperable.

[Anna8888]

We learnt that my MOL had ovarian cancer at the beginning of August. She spent 3 weeks in hospital, at the end of which she was told that she could not be operated upon at that point and would have neo-adjuvant chemotherapy and a reassessment of her illness in mid-October. We learnt today that the doctors cannot operate. She will have another two months of (a lighter) chemotherapy.

And then what? Does anyone have any idea what we can expect?

Mother Out of Law as in mother of my DP.

I don't think she is trying to protect DP, I think she is trying to only hear what she want to hear and if he went along she knows he would hear the truth. MOL is a great one for distorting the truth and only seeing/hearing what suits her.

I guess, sometimes knowing the truth is harder than pretending something is not happening.

Are you ok Anna, is your DP ok?

TBH I don't think that my DP seeing the doctors would affect MOL's treatment. We have it on good authority that she really is being seen by the very best doctors in France for her disease - she does chemo at one hospital and sees a gynaecological surgeon at another hospital because those are the best two centres here.

We would just like to have more information on what the future holds and why she is being given particular treatments - her next chemo is lighter than her first one, but she cannot tell us the reasons for that.

I'm fine thank you . DP is of course not fine and needs lots of support and tlc.

I think you are right, we thought we could make some difference, but no, all we were able to do was help mum understand the processes.

You can try looking at the following site for some info, they are reputable and not based on scaring and wrong info, but they are truthful so be aware of that when reading.

Ovacome - ovarian cancer support

cancerbacup/macmillan.

You can talk to some professionals. So even if you don't have Macmillan Nurses available in France, you can access their info sites and maybe even talk to some-one yourself.

I am happy to talk out of MN with some of the info I have, I do not feel comfortable sharing it on open forum but will be pleased to chat with you privately about it. But my mum, and I, looked at the following places for some information on Ovarian Cancer.

Anna - my family has a history of ovarian cancer and it is a terrible cancer. Ususally by the time it is diagnosed it is terminal.

One had an operation and was diagnosed in the October and lasted till the June, the other died after 7 weeks.

Both my mother and myself have had our ovaries removed to try to prevent this happening to us.

I would suggest that you ensure that she gets good palietive care, sufficient pain meds and be prepared for the worst.

Thank you Pavlov for the links. I have CATed you.

OK I will go check

a colleague of mine's mother has overian cancer. She was operated on but it had already sprad and has had palliative care chemo - still alive 4 years later though she has had a colostomy and is still having paliative chemo intermittantly. Her quality of life has, in between bouts of flare ups, been pretty good and she has been able to go on a world cruise.

I think its difficult to generalise without knowing more about her specific cancer.

KC - I don't think we are looking forward to MOL going on a world cruise. The cancer has spread to the peritoneum, which is apparently why it is inoperable.

Anna - can;t access my emails right this second, but as soon as I can, I will reply

sorry Anna - wasn't meaning to imply that all with be hunky dory - just trying to say that even with cancer that has spread differnt people respond very differently to chemo so its hard to predict. In her case she wasn;t given more than 6 months at the time.

I know it's very difficult to predict (especially when you get very limited data, as we do) and I know there are so positive stories out there...

I think really what we would like to know is what state of health we are likely to see MOL in over the coming months.

When they talked about an op back in the summer, the doctors implied that a colostomy would be part of it. I imagine that is quite likely still to happen at some point.

I just wanted to reiterate re. the palliative care - IME the best doctors in the world are often not the best when it come to palliative care. My mum had private health insurance and was under one of the world authorities on OC, and in a beautiful private wing of a renowned university hospital.
Unfortunately all that didn't stop various other doctors on duty from denying her the full dose of morphine during their ward shift, or from attempting to put her on a drip to 'strengthen her heart' when she was obviously in agony and so ready to go.

The end of life with OC is often very grim - please put lots of energy into finding excellent hospice care now, so that it'll be in place when you need it.

I agree with geekgirl. Drs care about the medical side, but the pallative care. That is about the person, their comfort, and the family.

That is very good advice - especially as I am very unknowledgeable about that kind of thing here in France. Thank you.

Anna, I am very sorry to hesr this.

My friend has had OC, and is awaiting the result of an MRI to check it has not spread.
She had an op about 2 years ago and a lot of chemo.

I'm not much help to you but wanted to add another voice to those thinking of you xx