counselling

[seahorse]

Has anyone had any counselling, if so how do you go about finding a good one and was it any use?

I Havent Seahorse, but have quite often thought it could be helpful (for various things)> Also afraid it would open a can of worms if I started thinking too much about 'stuff' so have never taken the plunge. Was it for a particular issue/difficulty? You or you and dp/dh?

When I was 20 I nearly had a nervous breakdown and was sent to counselling then and really do believe that it helped. The two main things that I learned from that was, 'Cry if you want to cry' and when it comes to relationships and if you feel down find someone you trust and talk,talk, talk.

But on the other hand I was sent again for couselling when I PND with my first child and didn't find it helped at all, the counsellor cancelled after a few saying 'I wasn't ready for counselling', I still wonder what she meant by that.

Both times I was referred by my doctor.

Hope this helps you a bit

See your GP, he/she can make a referal. It may be to the community psychiatric nurse, and they do some wonderful work.

Thanks all

Not sure if I need it really - just feel a bit flat and not much like the person I want to be or used to be or even living the life I want to live - ie confident, up for a laugh etc. dh away at the moment so lots of time with no other adults around - also worried about boring or frightening people off if I talk about how I feel, hence may be better with a counsellor.

Also - I might be a bit paranoid but with dh away a lot I'm worried that if I own up to being a bit flat/pnd etc and my GP has it on his notes then if anything happens to ds or dd eg accidental burn etc they might get a bit suspicious - this has put me off talking to the health visitor etc.

I went to marriage guidance (now Relate)and it was worse than useless, possibly even harmful.
I would not neccessarily want you to extrapolate form my experience .I have heard of others for whom Relate was helpful.

I also had counsellimg for depression ( cognitive behavioural therapy) which was enjoyable if not actually helpful.

I've had the odd period of counselling - I think that the www.bacp.co.uk site may help you find someone. I usually managed to find someone either through a friend or through my local church.

I know what you mean about not wanting to go through your doctor. I tried to get some counselling from my doctor, was prescribed anti-depressants for probable pnd - never took them, but now have this on my notes. It is a real pain for life insurance applications!

I have had two bouts of counselling, both through my gp, following depressions. Both times it took about 6 months to get to the top of the waiting list, so it is not a quick thing if you go via the NHS.

I found it extremely good. One lot was cognative therapy, and the other just chatting. Both were good in their own ways. At first I could not understand how talking was going to make me change my life, but with a bit of guidance, I began to understand things about myself. I realised that I had always seen things as black or white, and that things in life are not like that. I also sorted out a lot of my anger against my mum, for the sh1t childhood that I had.

Counselling is great, as the person is being paid to listen to your problems. They have an opinion of course, but this is backed up by training, and they help you reach your own conclusions, rather than being like a member of family or friend would. I always say that everyone should try it!

Seahorse, I have recently had counselling for the first time in my life following a bereavement and I have found it really helpful. I was referred through my workplace to an excellent collective of accredited and qualified therapists in the centre of London. If this location is helpful, let me know and I'll post their details (they don't have a website). The one drawback of not mentioning it to your GP - and I appreciate why you chose not to - is that you will probably have to pay for the counselling, rather than get it on the NHS. Chinchilla's comments about how it can help are very true.