I am petrefied of doctors..are any around to reassure me

[hypomum]

Hi,
No doubt I am not the only one this scared.
But I have a 3yr old and 2yr old and don't want to leave them with no mummy!
I started having panic attacks/anxity attacks about 7mths ago. I just started worrying about my health..felt on edge all the time..tired..irriatable..shaky..night sweats..palpitations(especially bad when hot!) constantly eating,very restless and found it hard to settle not all the time but probably 3 days out of 7 on average.
I went to the dr's(had complete panic attack, so she put me on ECG) who did bloods and i saw a cardio consultant...who put me on heart moniter for 24hrs..nothing wrong.
But liver test came back with protien in blood.
I told dr I had been drinking up to a bottle of wine a night since my daughter was born(2yrs ago).
He said he would suggest I cut down and take 2 to 3 nights off and come back in a month.
Started reading web..it came up with lung cancer..hepatitis..and other really scary stuff! I can not begin to tell you how frightened i have been!
So I did as I was told 2/3 nights off and cut down. Had a couple of nights where I had a bit more but generally a marked improvement, along with diet and started running again.
Did retest..enzemes still bit raised. After another panic attack..went back. Ask dr if i was going to die!!! He said no off course not..but I need to keep addressing it and women should be watching their drinking these days. He said keep at it and cut down and come back in a couple of months.
I have done that. I have even done a whole week off and am now doing another one but I keep having such anxity I can't even bring myself to go.
I'm not a stupid person, I know that even if it was bad I need to and get treated..I just don't seem to be able to get past that stage.
Do you think he would have told me to abstain if was bad? Surely he wouldn't have left me for two mths after the second test if it hadn't gone down a bit?
The problem is I'm second guessing. I just need a sympathtic ear and maybe a GP's reassurance to make me just get it done!
I still have the above symptoms. Particulary bad at the moment as feel anxious and the sun is making palpitations bad.

so when he says you have raised protein levels in your liver is that down to the drinking? i think drinking a bottle of wine a night since your child was born would have an effect on your after a time....i like to drink wine and feel sometimes i have to back off....it can make you anxious and even though you have cut down you have got yourself in this state of panic which is a hard cycle to break but do-able. i was really anxious yrs ago and had panic attacks constantly but im ok now...have got to know myself and my limitations.I think sometimes it can be so easy to focus on something as negative as that if you have a lot of thinking time on your hands.im sure things will improve.

Am not a Dr, but I do know that livers are very robust organs, and can recover well from all sorts of things, including lots and lots of drinking - chances are that if you cut back on the wine it will help your liver to get better. Much sympathy for the panic attacks, my mum had them for years, I know they are awful things. Has the dr given you any advice for them?

go back to gp, ask receptionist for a double appointment so you have time to discuss all of your concerns, make a list so that you don't forget anything, (including what you have found on the inernet)and explain to her your fears. These are as important as the blood test results. If you can't talk to her or find her too scary, book an appointment with a different GP, the receptionist should be able to suggest which one is more approachable or sympathetic.

well..he didn't say anything else. He was actually quite nice. Didn't make me feel like a shameful mother..just said as we get older our bodies can't take what they could years ago(I'm 37).
I'm sure it would have an effect too...thats my logical head.
But even if have hardly drunk that week...I feel anxious shaky...all of the above stuff. I can honestly say it's not because I want a drink.
I read a sight about overactive thyroids...i do have alot of the symptoms...but I so wish I never read the web...it's totally finished me. I actually think I need some counselling. I've started worrying about my DH and DS and DD.
Yet another day I'm fine...still in back of mind but just a normal worry, not this intense worrying I constantly feel.
I have two kids, 3 dogs, work full time...but on my own alot...so although busy...little bit lonely...it seems thats when the panic started.

why did your's start?

does anyone think the doctor would have sent me for more tests if it was more serious( I am not making light that there was an issue)
Do you think he would have monitored me more like every 2 weeks.
Actually, when i had my first retest the nurse did say there would be more in the notes section if they were worried...not 'to monitor' as my said.
She also told me it was better to have one glass every other night than to binge drink at the weekends.m Plus drink lots of water!!

hypomum, yes there would have been more tests needed if anything very alarming had turned up in the second blood tests and if we only write 'to monitor' if we are doing just that..... but that doesn't get you out of going back to the doctors I am afraid. Nothing you have said as made me think you are going to get bad news or a lecture but this is a real worry for you and you need to go and have a friendly chat with your own doctor as they are the only ones that can put your mind at rest here

let us know how you get on. [virtual hug]

Hi - I went through a really bad phase of health anxiety (am too terrified of doctors, hospitals etc) and panic attacks. Would happen in strange places like the supermarket check out. I got a book by Dr Claire Weekes called self help for your nerves and can honestly say it massively turned things around for me. I have since recommended to a few others on here suffering with anxiety and they have found it invaluable...gotta be worth a try. Its so awful feeling like this from the moment you wake up til the moment you go to bed.. believe me I have been there!! She talks alot about highly sensitised nerves and adrenaline....and normalises alot of the stuff you are describing...fast heart rate etc. Give it a try!!

thank you all.

Just writing on here is a help.
I have decided to go back to dr's next week. I am a sensible normally grounded person. I'm not worried about a lecture...i think..just any bad news. It seems everyone lately goes for routiene test and has something awful.
I should be grateful that it has frightened me enough to change my lifestyle.
I have a very loving supportive husband, two beautiful children and generally a comfortable..if rather busy, stressful life, that I know will get easier.
Ummadam are you a GP?

i'm going to try that book as well!!

Get a new Doctor!!!

You sound like me! I have suffered from health anxiety (still do really) in the same way you did. Had raised liver enzymes, thought i had hepatitis wouldnt go back to retest. Left it for years, even turned down a good job because i was scared of having to do a medical. Had DD2 and eight weeks after was in agony - Gallstones. Not life threatening, but fucking painful. IF i had gone back and taken further tests i could have them removed before it ruined what was supposed to be a lovely time with my newborn.

NOW im not suggesting for one tiny minute that you have gallstones, and even if you did, so what, some people have them and dont even know. Its not a big deal. I think that the amount of alcohol you were drinking would have definately given rise to the elevated liver enzymes. This will happen when the liver is under pressure, it doesn't neccesarily mean there is ANY damage at all. The fact that your enzyme levels have gone down is a really really good sign. There is not just one liver enzyme that they test for, there are about three i think and the ratio of these in the blood can give a suggestion of certain conditions over another so, if the doctor was worried re hepatitis he would have suggested a blood test. So many things can cause this, having taken paracetemol for a while before you are tested. A high fat diet. STRESS!

Has your doctor not suggested some sort of counselling and possibly medical treatment for your anxiety? Im really surprised he/she hasn't. I let mine go on so long and it drew to a head when i completely lost the plot, went to the minor injury unit in absolute hysterics. WHy? I thought my tonsils were tumours!! Reasonable mistake maybe? Maybe, but i have a biochemistry degree and Phd in developmental biology - i should have known better!!

I convinced myself i was HIV positive and passed it on to DD1 - I really withdrew from her because of this and has impacted on our relationship terribly.

Now every lump bump cough splutter sends me into abject panic, but i am on medication now and its getting under control. I suffer with depression as a result of my anxiety and if you are not careful you will end up the same so please go back to your doctor and ask for a referral for counselling and consider some medication in the meantime.

Not sure i go with the highly sensitived nerves and adrenaline theory, im not a doctor but i am very interested in this area and ive never read anything along those lines. Anxiety is often a result of inbalances in seratonin which is a feel good hormone released in the brain. Most medications that treat anxiety work by trying to restore the balance of seratonin in the brain.

You really do sound like me, constantly looking for reassurance that all is well. Imagining your children without you - ive played my funeral over and over in my head, imagined my DD at school without me. Its terrible and there has been nothing wrong with me. Apart from my anxiety which is just as much of an illness as all the nasties you imagine might be wrong. It needs treatment, for some that means medication for others, counselling is all thats needed.

Please ask for help with this, you dont deserve, or need to feel this way.

One more thing - KEEP AWAY FROM GOOGLE!!!!

I am a doctor and I second everything lucyellen'smum1 said.

It seems your GP has been concentrating more on your liver and less on you anxiety which is perhaps the bigger problem here. You should see someone about the anxiety specifically. The liver enzymes can be raised for all sorts of reasons and I think your GP is waiting for them to come to normal so they can say it was just one of those things. He/She would have referred you to a hospital consultant if they thought that them returning to normal on their own was unlikely.

I would also ditto that.

You sound like you are drinking because of the anxiety. Consider it to be self-medicating. Becoming obsessional about health and illness can be a symptom of your anxiety getting out of control.

1. Well done for cutting down the drinking so far.

1. Don't get too fixated on the liver tests. Short-term excessive drinking can cause the enzymes to go a bit wonky, but they usually settle right down after a few months of calming it down with the booze. Its unlikely to be anything else causing it and your GP would have referred you on if they were really concerned.

1. Go back and see your GP (or another that you feel comfortable seeing) and have a full, frank discussion about your anxiety. You may need some treatment- there is a lot that can be done and your life can get better.

1. Stop looking things up on the internet. You are in no state mentally to deal with some of the sacry nonsense that Googling comes up with!

1. Good luck.

oh my god...thank you so much!!
The fear has been so overwhelming. Eveytime my son sayes when i go to big school.. in my head I'm saying 'if i'm here to see it' I mean what a thought!! I try not to tell anyone and I get on as normal...but sometime the anxity is so bad I feel like I am shuddering all over. I still think it's odd I wake up like it.
I truley know it's not booze, because just had 5 days off, thought I'd have a glass and tipped most away and having cup of tea...so it's not withdraw...I don't think i was that bad..just got into that whole...6pm...destress thing??!! At least I've broke that habit.
But when i read the web..things like hepatitis..i thought oh god..my hubby and me were quite party animals before and after we met...what happens if he's got it..kept saying he was tired and couldn't concentrate etc.Waht happens if i wasn't tested for it with kids.... He has actually had tests done for dibetis and stuff...got to go back in...so been worried about that...
You are all right though...this has got to stop. I'm probably covering up pretty well to most people, but my thoughts have gone hairwire...no wonder i feel so on edge.
My children are only 13mths apart so I guess it's only just started to get bit easier.
I about 90% stong talking here, knowing I'm not mad!

Thank you.

hypomum - am too tired to go into long details tonight, but want to say - your last post could have been written by me word for word 10 years ago. I spent the first decade of my children's life in exactly the sort of tailspin that you ar in now. I am now cured completely - How? 1) Claire Weekes books which quite literally helped me to realise that I was not mad but normal, even if a nervous wreck and 2) having 12 months of regular CBT therapy to stop me catastrophising (imagining my own funeral, reacting to children's comments in exactly the way you describe, being convinced that I would never see them grow up etc etc etc). Catastrophising is a by product of an extended anxiety state and it is 100% curable, I promise. I agree with earlier poster that your problem is anxiety, not your liver and you need a GP to take it seriously and refer you for counselling. Good luck.

omg - i DO THAT TOO - "If i'm here to see it"

Sal - i'm really encouraged to read your story, im having counselling just now - can't get CBT but hopefully going to get it sorted.

I know i told you to keep away from the internet, but you should take a look at some of the anxiety websites. Anxiety can cause physical symptoms too. You wouldn't believe how. I had palpitations, had 24 hour ecg done, nothing wrong with me! Had tingling fingers and face - went to the doctors - nothing wrong with me - well yes, there was, it was the anxiety - it does screw up the system so much and if you google, you can turn a simple case of a cold in to full blown bubonic plague.

You'll be OK, but get it sorted. Let me know how you get on. Anxiety has ruined my life, don't let it ruin yours.

i'm going to write again tomorrow...as I thing I need everyone's support to get to dr's next week.

Plus I'm going to order that book tomorrow, any particular one i should start with?

The highest level??? LOL LOL...you see it's not totally taken over..i still have a sense of humour!!
Chat tomorrow all...thanks for advice.

A couple of links for you to take a look at that I signpost my patients to (may help to print it off and read at leisure).

anxiety self help

anxiety disorders

panic attacks

I would definitely ask for a thyroid check to rule that out - thyroid problems can cause terrible anxiety and depression and morbid thoughts. Excessive drinking can also cause personality changes, including anxiety. Whatever the cause though, you clearly do need to find ways to overcome this dreadful anxiety as it so upsetting for you, so I'd go back to your GP and talk about maybe some counselling. But do get a thyroid check.

I agree - sounds like your anxiety is the main problem and it has been 'over-medicalised' with blood tests nd 'monitoring - sometimes easier (and quicker, in an 8-10 minute appointment) than getting to the root of the problem.

I'm a hospital doctor, and we see quite a lot of people with anxiety who have very real and disabling physical symptoms. The more tests we do, the more they are convinced that there must be something really, really wrong with them whereas often the breathlessness, headaches, palpitations, chest pain etc. can be explained by anxiety and resolve with proper treatment. Go back to your GP and ask them to refer you on. Book a double appointment with a GP you can talk to.

(Ask them too if it IS worth checking your thyroid is OK before you embark on counselling/CBT - I almost don't want to suggest that as it medicalises the whole thing again, but it really is a very quick blood test and your GP should be tuned in to the fact that the thyroid can occasionally go haywire after babies, and it would be good to know yours was OK so that you could focus on getting past the anxiety.)

It's great that you've cut down on alcohol as that tends to make things worse.....Now cut down on the Googling......Good luck with everything. Let us know how you get on!

Hi smellyeli.

i had my throid checked in march. apparently fine.
But I know the levels can go up and down.
My symptoms are
palpittations(especially when hot or cold), weird fluttering in the chest..almost like i'm going to get a chest infection. This feels worse...ocviously when i panic.
I had a tooth out in May, it was infected..but the gland has never gone down on that side and I'm consious of swallowing, it seems noiser..sometimes feels bit weird as well..again as i start worrying about it gets worse..I don't feel particualary breathless when i run, but when i'm talking or walk up the stairs...if the palpitations are there i do.
I find when the palpitations are bad, i feel irritable and then as they go I am starving hungry...I mean starving! I have lost weight..which is rare for me...but it kind of goes up and down.
I can not stand the heat...which i loved...particulary if sun is on my chest or back.
Seem to poo more often and it's bit looser.
I am also restless, it would be rare for you to see me sat down...apart for me to eat.
But I sleep like a baby.But when i wake up, i feel anxious and abit sick with palpitations
Periods are fine, I came of the pill in March to see if that helped, maybe I'm premenopause. I had c sections with both children.

I know these are real symptoms and I'm not imagining them because when they are not present I am like a changed person

It's tricky to say - as these symptoms could all be anxiety related, but as you say, thyroid can go up and down so maybe worth another check. Have you managed to make another GP appointment yet? Maybe the only way to sort things will be to see what effect treating the anxiety side of things has - good luck with it. I hope it will really help to talk things through with an understanding GP.......

Hi all...Right have made decision to get test down on FRiday after work!
Feel sick with worry...I feel like i need to take valium or something just to get through it all!
My DH got his test results and he has high cholestrol. But obvious I looked at the web because i had to!! and you can have that because of liver diease...obviously we both have hepatitis and we are going to die!!!
I have had an ache near my liver on of for a while...so i read what gallstones were and how we got them...can be hepatitis.
How the hell am i can i stop this??
I am actually making myself ill with worry and probably worse still covering up quite well.
Does anyone think i should tell my husband my fears...he knows some of them..but not the above. Or do you think i will send him over the edge as well?
I read the anxiety site that emma sent. Reasons why you have panic attacks.
I have all 3 reasons.
It is just the most hideous feeling ever.
I had my parents up at the weekend and spent the whole weekend thinking...oh my god...is it treatable...who would i have to tell...can i still work...oh my god my kids..my husband.
I'm at work today on my own with these feelings totally escalating. I know once i get out at lunch time I'll be ok and then it will time to pick the kids up and i'm busy. But I need to find to inner peace when i'm on my own and not busy.

Is anyone free to talk to a mad woman??