Anybody have any experience of having or knowing someone who has had a mastectomy? My mum is having a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery on Thursday - what can I do to help?

[hotmama]

My mum has found a lump and although precancerous is having to have a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery. As she is a big-breasted woman (like myself ) she is also having a breast reduction on the other side. The skin to be used for reconstruction will be coming from her stomach.

Luckily, as the lump is precancerous (although she has been assured it will turn cancerous) she won't need to have any chemo etc.

She is going to be in hospital for about a week and when she comes home I will take some annual leave to look after her a bit. My dsd is lovely but is a bit crap at the emotional aspect of life - so my mum is appreciating my offer of help.

Bless her, she is more worried about me as I will be 29 weeks with dc3 - but I'm O.K. (Albeit a bit emtionally wobbly - as my mummy is poorly - although I am 41 I feel like I'm regressing to a 3 year old!)

So can anyone give me some idea of any practical and emotional support I can particularly give.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

MY friend is 72 years old and was working as a health care assistant on a busy ward at that age. She found a lump, had a masectomy. A few months later she is back doing same job and looks alot better for having the surgery. Hasn't slowed her up.

Hope you mum is ok.

bump

Hotmamma

I am sorry about your mum, some of the ladies on this wonderful thread may be able to help you.

I am having a double mastectomy and reconstruction in a month or so's time, due to BRACA gene spell mistakes and my cousin and aunt have both had them.

My cousin had the same reconstruction as your mum is having (and I will be having) and she siad that is is really painful and that she is much more restricted than she thought she would be. Saying that she is glad to have had the operation.

I hope everything goes well and we are here should you need some support.

TheMadHouse - thanks for the link I will go and have a look.

Hope everything goes O.K for you.

hotmama, my Mum had a mastectomy and reconstruction earlier this year. Like you I was pregnant and I moved back home to support her.

Mum was home from the hospital after 7 days and up and about at home about a week after that. It was a while before she could drive (about 4 weeks I think) as they had taken fat from her tummy to reconstruct the breast and she had to wait for the tummy scar to heal enough to do an emergency stop comfortably. I don't know if your Mum is having this kind of reconstruction (I know there are different kinds) but if she is, driving her places and helping with shopping, lifting etc is a really good practical way to support her (within reason I guess as you are preg!). I also coked meals and did the washing etc while she was in bed for the first few days after she got home.

In terms of emotional support, i found that my Mum needed me most before the operation when she was going in for the pre-op assessments and meetings with the consultant. I think it helped her to have an extra person listening to the options she was being given for the reconstruction so we could discuss it afterwards and she could make a decision in her own time. She also had times when she was scared about what the procedure would be like and felt resentful that she had to have it at all.

Now, nearly 5 months post-op, she is completely fine and recovered.

I hope this helps a little, very best wishes to you and your Mum.

my mum had one - depends on the kind of person she is i guess. My mum wanted someone she loved to help her with practical care (washing etc.) for the few days after, which then progressed to taking in fruit and books and chatting and ended in giggling about the nurses and different types of commode.

best wishes to you - is a horrible feeling but it brought me and my mum much closer together in the long run.