it seems to me that post natal anxiety would be a more useful term than PND for new mums

[deaconblue]

Never felt depressed as such after having ds but the anxiety about him and doing basic simple tasks was overwelming for his first year. I really think if the health visitor or doctor had asked if I felt over anxious rather than asking if I was depressed I might have realised that such a level of anxiety was neither usual or unavoidable.
Anyone else feel the description of PND could do with being clarified better by health professionals?

thanks all, that's very reassuring i think i'm feeling it more today as DP is back at work next week, so am worrying about doing stuff with DS on my own. but as a kind friend has pointed out, this is a good opportunity to get to know DS, a positive rather than a negative.

we made good friends at nct classes too, so i can call them for advice/sympathies/commiserations if things are getting a bit much!

I think it would make a good additional term.

PND is not at all the same as the thing you describe tbh and I'm not sure you understand it. You sound a bit dismissive of it too.

I don't think that was the spirit of the OP, to be fair@GotNoDyson. PNd is used asa blanket term to describe virtually all negative feelings a woman might experience after having a baby, and I for one felt that the help just wasn't there for me in the early days because I wasn't classically post natally depressed. The HV / GP etc didn't know what to do with me, so they just threw drugs at me and gave me some guff about it being a hormonal thing when I felt pretty sure it wasn't.

I or one think it's useful to have a proper, honest exchange with other women about all the different feelings and anxieties becoming a mother can throw up.

Sorry, my typing is shit today.

I was like this too for a long while after DS was born. Constant worry about cot death (we even had one of those alarm things), excessive checking that things like car straps weren't too loose/tight, fear of him falling out of his carry cot, worry that if someone held him they'd make sure to hold his head, etc etc etc. I did wonder if I had PND at one point but looking at symptoms they didn't seem to apply to me - hadn't heard of PNA till now but it would seem to definitely apply to me. I've always been a bit of a worrier/hypochondriac - I'm sure being this kind of person makes post-natal anxiety much more likely. I'd also had 3 miscarriages before DS so was anxious throughout the whole pregnancy too.

The first few weeks were the worst, though it did continue mildly for a few months, and I don't think it's totally over yet either even though DS is now 16 months - I think I started transferring my anxieties to his development (he was a late pointer so I convinced myself he was ASD). So smallwhitecat I can relate to you on this. I hope if you do have counselling it will help.

Perhaps not, but I am sure the OP would like to be told that she is coming across in a certain way particularly if that is not her intention.

Anxiety and parenthood go hand in hand. That's a given isnt it?

I think if a new parent is struggling then absolutely the right thing to do is go to your GP or HV for help AND to discount the possibility of such a debilitating illness such as PND. The same way that you would go to a GP for any other potential illness, yes?

If you get a poor response from your GP, then that is of course unfortunate and incredibly unhelpful, but I think it is more unhelpful to suggest that PND could in fact 'just' be anxiety. Undiagnosed PND is far more serious that mis-diagnosed 'normal anxiety'. Do you see the distinction I am making?

cyteen - re going blank, i must know about 3 gazillion songs really, but could i ever think of a single one other than 'on top of spaghetti'(???) when one of the dc was crying as babies?? never! bizarre. (and yet, so utterly 'normal', understandable, absolutely fine)
two weeks is a tough stage at times, be kind to yourself, and dont bottle things up. xx

i do agree with gotnodyson. i think they are two different things... under the same umbrella perhaps...

My experience was a bit different to others on here. I didn't really worry about the baby, or being able to look after her.

What did happen was that I became completely overwhelmed by simple tasks - things like making a cup of tea, finding something around the house or going to the shop. I'd come out in a cold sweat and feel panicky and tearful.

I was never diagnosed with PND and hid my feelings from the HV. Was absolutely fine with my second baby though - entertaining guests a few hours after he was born!

I wasn't depressed as in lacking in energy, but was very likely suffering from post-traumatic stress given a god-awful delivery and enforced stay on a manically busy, understaffed ward.

When I came home I couldn't be still, I could hear crying babies when there weren't any, was sore after 3rd degree tear botch repair, constantly stuck to a breast pump to try and get my milk to come in, had picked up a hospital acquired infection, and ds was feeding poorly. It was horrendous. I was so wired I went 4 days with 5 hours sleep & by day 11 I was shaking. Thankfully dh bonded with ds straight away. I wasn't depressed but I can remember just looking at ds and thinking 'what have I done?' and feeling frightened.

I'm not sure what signs mw & hvs are trained to spot, but not mine .

Just read that back and god does it sounds doom and gloom - and at the time it was - but have since had a 2nd baby and both my dcs are fabulous

Severe post natal anxiety can be extremely debilitating and long-lived - largely because the anxious mother feels anxious that her anxiety is damaging the development of her child and has a life sentence ahead of her, watching the "damage" she believes herself to have inflicted (namely, everything unusual about her child). That's why I think it is something that should be picked up on more frequently and actually dealt with - particularly for children who do have developmental issues, as the anxiety has something genuine to pin itself onto, making it even harder to stop the negative thinking without help.

Counselling is by far the best way of dealing with it - anti-depressants aren't exactly brilliant for treating anxiety. A book called "Mind Over Mood" is also quite helpful, particularly if you can't get access to therapy, or have to wait a very long time for it - or at least I found it so.

ps I don't mean, though, that every anxious mother needs help! Anxiety is indeed pretty normal for parents, but not to the extent that your mind starts twisting everything that happens around in a way that results in you feeling you are to blame for it. If that isn't dealt with, depression is pretty likely to follow in its wake, eventually.

Don't know if it's been said but the proper term now (there's an official UK website) is PNI but PND is still used more often. I prefer PNI because I don't feel "depressed" as such and know a lot of women don't, plus there is far more to it than just depression.

Oh why isn't this stuff discussed more openly. I have only now, after three children, realised how anxious I was after my births for the first year or so (a lot of it tiredness related). I was terrified something would happen to my babies and checked and checked them. It is only now (youngest child two) that I feel 'normal' again and can look back in wonder that I survived.

'?' missing

ah Banana skin i agree on the conspiracy theory i said this to my mum a few moths after dd was born that now one warns you of the worries about everything i expected sleepless nights etc but not coping with the anxiety of what am i doing wrong never evr did i think i may be doing something right

i also think my anxiety was not helped by the fact my ferritin level was 4 normal is 21 which can leadto mood issues

i went to my gp and said around the time of my period i get very emotional and stressed about dd,

like panic if she did not finish a bottle she said i had post natal depression and needed anti d i said no agreed to keep emotional diary

a few weeks later went to different gp on different matter and blood test showed the problem and iron tablets have helped

i wish we were more honest with each other in RL and i may help other i promised my little sis honesty and 24 phone support
(she's in a different country) when her family starts!!

I was intensely anxious with dd1 ie. refused to let her sleep anywhere but in her crib with the breathing monitor on even though she was guaranteed to wake up if moved. I practically stood over her for the whole time she slept if she feel asleep in her carry cot. Never once slept when she did unless she was in the crib.

I wouldn't go in the shower incase she choked and I didn't hear her so I had baths with her lying on the bathroom floor.

This lead to PND I think.

I also think that there is such a huge adjustment from being a full time working woman to being at home with a baby. Your identity disappears into Mummy. I took this v seriously and went to all sorts of lenghts to make sure I was ubermummy and wouldn't let anyone help.

DD2 still went a bit loopy but got it address that time. Made a big difference.