Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
General health

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Back from GU Clinic - can you tell me if I need to cut off DH's man bits???

28 replies

SurpriseNameChange · 08/07/2008 11:16

Had a thread yesterday about thrushy things, you told me to go to clinic.

I went, turned out I have thrush and infection, but they also found warts . I have had them for about 6 months I think (I think that is when I remember noticing one, but i have changed so much "there" since my last child it didn't occur to me it was anything out of the way iyswim).

I have been with no-one else.

I know that they can go undetected, but my question is how long for?? Is nearly a decade likely?

The Dr was lovely and asked if I had any questions, but my head was spinning and I couldn't ask, didn't want the answer at that time!!

You lot know this stuff.

OP posts:
Original poster
SurpriseNameChange · 08/07/2008 11:26

bump - please help

OP posts:
LilRedWG · 08/07/2008 11:27

No idea I'm afraid, but please call the clinic and talk to the doctor - I'm sure they are used to people doing this.
Take care.

PussinJimmyChoos · 08/07/2008 11:28

No experience of this myself but I think that with genital warts, once you have them, you have them iyswim and they can come and go over the course of the years. So, it could well be something that your DH caught before he met you and he's just had a recent re-emergence of them iyswim? Google genital warts and it should give you the info

Hope this helps?

objectivity · 08/07/2008 11:28

"The average incubation period, which begins immediately after the initial sexual contact with an infected person, is usually two to three months but can range from one to 20 months. However, when HPV is transmitted from one person to another, the virus infects the top layers of the skin and can remain inactive or latent for months or possibly years before warts or other signs of HPV infection appear. In couples that have not had sex partners for many years, the woman may develop an abnormal Pap smear because of previous contact."
apaprently

scorpio1 · 08/07/2008 11:29

i think they can go undected for a long time. ring nhs direct and ask, or your surgery.

bethoo · 08/07/2008 11:29

genital warts can lie dormant for many years, youcould have caught the virus and been carrying it without ever having the warts appear.
were you sexually active before yuor dh?
your dh may have had them and not realised.
talk to him about it and it does nto necessarily mena he has been a naughty boy.

YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 08/07/2008 11:30

once you have warts once they can re occur at any time. is there any chance that years ago you may hve had them without noticing it was warts ie bit sore but put down to thrush?

bethoo · 08/07/2008 11:30

also for your own awareness majority of cervical cancers are casued by the HPV virus so you may be told that you will have to have regular smears.

YouNeverKnowIMightFlounce · 08/07/2008 11:31

and yes a decade likely

Original poster
SurpriseNameChange · 08/07/2008 11:32

There has been no-one else for me, so I know it is from him.

I have no reason to suspect anything other than him having it before meeting me, but I have had huge trust issues over the years, and it is all crumbling down I realised at the weekend that I finally trusted him completely, now I'm all thrown again.

My poor friend is having to put up with me stealing her computer to mn for advice during coffee

OP posts:
bethoo · 08/07/2008 11:34

just bring it up and ask him if he is aware of it. youi cant really accuse him at this stage as it lies dormant for years and he may be unaware he had it if he never actually had the warts and warts left untreated grow to look like mini cauliflowers so they would have been noticed eventually!

Elibean · 08/07/2008 11:39

Poor you, I do understand the crumbling trust issues - I had similar problems trusting dh (probably the most trustworthy soul on the planet) for years.

FWIW, I think you're doing exactly the right thing: get the information correct (I agree, warts can lie dormant for years and years), then deal with the emotional upheaval. I would talk to him about the fears and insecurity as honestly as possible, without blaming him or accusing him, just owning your own insecurity IYSWIM, and asking for reassurance.

Hopefully, you'll get it in spades

Original poster
SurpriseNameChange · 08/07/2008 11:48

I think he already knows I am worked up (met him for a few mins after the appointment). Got a text telling me he loves me... never does that!

OP posts:
emma1977 · 08/07/2008 16:41

You can carry the wart virus for years and not have obvious warts. Just because they have appeared recently, doesn't mean that you caught the virus recently. A decade ago is entirely possible.

Don't cut his man-bits off just yet!

MissingMyHeels · 08/07/2008 16:48

My best friend had warts and was told they can lie dormant for years and years. The GUM nurse said they've seen many old couples where one of them has had them appear after over 20yrs!

Leave your DH's manbits alone for now.

mustrunmore · 08/07/2008 16:58

Dont worry, they can indeed just pop up centuries later, particularly if you are susceptible to such yucky stuff. FWIW, dh gets the blame for everything here, as you prob know.. reoccurring thrush is obv something he caught and passed on, even my cystitis was his fault for us shagging in the bath In fact, and medical prob is his fault as thats my way of dealing with it!!

HeadFairy · 08/07/2008 17:03

just a note about cervical cancer and hpv bethoo.... there are about 20 odd different varieties of hpv and only about 3 are known to be linked to cervical cancer so it's unlikely the strain of hpv causing surprisenamechange's warts can cause cervical cancer. There's a chance, but it's remote. Also when getting the warts treated the clinic can check to see if they're all external or if there are any on her cervix. Mind you, it's always wise to keep up to date with smears anyway.

DazedEmma · 08/07/2008 17:09

is warts herpes?

bubblagirl · 08/07/2008 17:16

you can get it from oral sex if he has a cold sore and can also lay dormant for years and can be triggered by stress

i read they can lay dormant for 20 years worth having a talk though but i would automatically think the worst

DazedEmma · 08/07/2008 17:16

My best friend has herpes, and I went with her 3 weeks ago when she went for her results. The nurse said: you can have them for years and years without having a breakout, they are most likely to appear round your time of the month, during pregnancy or when stressed out, they can be uncomfortable but nothing to worry about. You are advised not to have sexual contact during a breakout.

Men can pass it on without them having any symptoms themselves, however, woman can only pass it on during a break out. The dr reassured her despite rumours, there is no connection to anything sinister and that this is assumed due to results of tests carried out years ago which have since been proven wrong.

So, don't worry you aren't going to get anything horrid as a result of this and your husband may have contracted the virus 20 years ago and only only just passed it on.

Anyone know any relief for back pain - whilst i'm here...??? No? cries

bubblagirl · 08/07/2008 17:16

wouldnt automatically that should say

DazedEmma · 08/07/2008 17:28

honestly love, we looked into with drs and everything and only last month and it's nothing to worry about, just a pain in the a... well vagina (sorry!)

there is an official website here

Original poster
SurpriseNameChange · 08/07/2008 17:28

The coldsore thing is unlikely btw - I did research a while back for different reasons, and although you can get herpes as a result of a coldsore, they are unlikely to recur as genital herpes because they are a different type (can't remember the official stuff, but one type survives better on the face, the other on your bits so although it can infect the other area, it isn't likely to come back again).

I am much calmer now. Still reeling a bit at how easily my confidence has been shattered. the logical part of me says he loves me, would never cheat on me, and it is clearly something from years ago, but the less logical, much more vocal part of me is screaming "You fool! How many other women say that???"

OP posts:
DazedEmma · 08/07/2008 17:33

the dr told us you cannot get it from a coldsore, it is simply past on from sexual contact - speak to him but take into account he may or you may have caught it so long ago.

you could ask him to get tested but unless he is during a break out of herpes it will come back negative so will likely be a waste of time

emma1977 · 08/07/2008 18:27

warts and herpes are different conditions, caused by different viruses but roughly the same logic applies.