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Original poster

So, what can be done to help my DD at school. She has ongoing glue ear, doesn't hear the teacher or the other chilren. She is just drifting off in class, and at playtime children are starting not to play with her as she can't interect with them properly

47 replies

ListersSister · 02/07/2008 11:33

We have an ENT referral and one for Sensory Needs. However, what can be done while we wait for these things? Her glue ear has been on and off for years (she is now 7 - Yr 2), but has been really bad the last couple of months. It is noticeable that she is playing with fewer and fewer children now and I think it is because she doesn't respond to them half the time as she can't hear. Sometimes she says that no-one wants to play with her, which is such a change as she was always a 'friend to anyone' kind of a child, and played with everybody.

She is also not concentrating in class - she sits at the front, but it is hard for anyone to hear in a busy classroom, and she certainly can't hear when the other children are answering questions. Because she can't hear things she is just drifting off into her own world . Teacher is aware, but not sure what can be done.

Anyone been here and can offer advice? I feel so sorry for her .

OP posts:

edam · 02/07/2008 11:34

grommets? Sounds miserable poor thing.

edam · 02/07/2008 11:34

(how long is waiting list for ENT? If lengthy, might be worth going private.)

notjustmom · 02/07/2008 11:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrNortherner · 02/07/2008 11:39

Gosh how long has she had the glue ear? 7 is quite old for it not be sorted isn't it?

My ds is in year 1 and his glue ear was sorted years ago, by grommets I must add.

MarmadukeScarlet · 02/07/2008 11:40

I would start by removing all dairy from her diet, whilst waiting for grommets, my bf daughter had the same - she avoided grommets completely following being unable to hear to the extent that her language (aged 2.5) was way behind her peers.

She put her DD onto soya products, not everyone's cup of tea though.

PortAndLemon · 02/07/2008 11:41

How long is the waiting list, and could you afford to go private?

Original poster

ListersSister · 02/07/2008 12:23

Thanks ladies. No idea about waiting lists as we have just been referred. I also know the policy if watch and wait, which means more delays. Trouble is, she has had good hearing tests in the past, so I am worrying that there won't be enough 'history' for them to act now...

I do think we have to try grommets though, but I know it doesn't work for everyone.... I will google costs of going private in a min.

DD doesn't drink much milk, although she does eat cheese and yogs, so I am not sure about the dairy thing. She is low risk for glue ear in all other ways - no siblings with the problem, breastfed, never lived in a smoking house etc etc. It is so frustrating for us, while she just seems to try to carry on as normal, without realising quite what is happening .

Anything else we can try as a short term thing? She is moving up to juniors in sept and will need to make new friends. At the moment I can see it all going horribly wrong .

OP posts:

Original poster

ListersSister · 02/07/2008 12:54

Right, well, waiting list just to see the ENT consultant is 6 weeks . Consultant hasn't got the referral yet either. Cost of private treatment looks like about £1500. Blardy hell. Where do we go from here? I can just see that if we do get anything from the NHS it will be well into Yr 3, and in the meantime my dd will struggle with everything . Aargh!

OP posts:

dramaqueen · 02/07/2008 12:59

Phone them back and let them know that you'll take a cancellation. It may be that you have a mad dash to make it at short notice though, but all consultants have cancellations. Also get on name terms with the consultant's secretary.

emma1977 · 02/07/2008 16:47

It's summer- there will be loads of short-notice cancellations. Ring the consultant's secretary and make yourself available at a day's notice if possible.

Glue ear to the extent of affecting social interaction and education should be taken seriously and should warrant prompt action to stop her slipping behind at school and socially.

I hope all goes well.

stroppyknickers · 02/07/2008 16:52

We went private as waiting list horrendous. If you can pay to see the consultant (looking at about £200 for hearing test plus consultant) at least you then jump to the next waitint list for treatment. you may find that grommets are no longer the solution. My consultant is adamant that they don't work. Get him (if you see him) to write to the teacher, and make sure that other parents are aware that it's a hearing problem.

bigcar · 02/07/2008 17:16

I would also chase the sensory needs referal, I'm assuming this would be a referal to a Teacher of the Deaf. A ToD could advise the school on how best to help your dd. Ask about a soundfield system for the classroom, it would be of benefit to all the children not just your dd, works with the teacher having a microphone and speakers around the classroom. Ask the teacher if she could repeat other childrens answers, well done the answer is 15, iyswim. Hope you get something sorted soon.

cory · 02/07/2008 18:10

Also ask if the teacher can speak to the other children and explain; they will be more tolerant if they understand why she is different.

Dd and ds both had very good friends whose hearing was affected by glue ear. In both cases, their social development was affected but in different ways.

The boy (and he was quite a big boy compared to the others) became rough and over-boisterous.

The girl seemed generally weird, did not have the same cognitive skills as the other children, seemed to live in her own little world.

Both have had their hearing sorted and are now doing very well, both academically and socially.

Dropdeadfred · 02/07/2008 18:28

Both my older two dds had grommets and it completely opened up their world ( which had been closing in like your little dd's). Do go back to your GP/Consultant and ask for grommets ASAP. If pss ask her teacher if she will write a letter for you to show them how her schooling is being affected.

Original poster

ListersSister · 02/07/2008 19:45

Right, have now spoken to sensory needs. It sounds like they will put her on the books if they assess she has needs when they see her. So, if her hearing happens to be ok when they see her, tough, that's that.

It basically feels like no-one is that concerned, except me. I will chase them obviously, but feel rather despondent.

I will phone ENT again to confirm that they have at least got the referral, and then say I can take a cancellation (I could do it at a day's notice, but prob not shorter than that - is this likely?).

Stroppy - what did your consultant recommend if not grommets? I am really hoping to get this sorted asap...

Bigcar - dd's current teacher has no hope of doing what you suggest - she has enough difficulty getting the children to sit in the same place at the same time . I have no idea who DD will have when she changes school into year 3, but obviously they will have a class of 32 to get to grips with and I will need to be forceful

Emma - I agree with you, I just have to convince the professinals that it is a big problem. DD compensates very well amd doesn't complain, so is in danger of being overlooked....

Will going to my GP speed anything up do you think?

OP posts:

elfsmummy · 02/07/2008 19:50

If it is at all possible financially I'd do the initial appointment privately. Explain your situation to the consultant who can then transfer you to the NHS.

This will be in the region of £100 - £200 I'd imagine.

But you'll jump the initial 6 week waiting list and find out what options are available. The consultant will probably be able to see you privately within the week.

Kbear · 02/07/2008 19:55

cranial osteopathy completely cured my DS's glue ear! In 6 weeks. It stopped him having to have surgery for grommets. He still goes every two weeks.

margoandjerry · 02/07/2008 19:57

I have no relevant experience (though had glue ear and grommets as a child but that was 35 years ago) but just to say from your OP it sounds as though you need to start jumping up and down and making a fuss.

I would go to GP just to discuss your concerns and place a marker down about how you feel your DD is being left behind at school. It sounds like your concern that this isn't being prioritised is correct.

Also, might it be worth getting the private consultation so that you are pre-armed with info when you do get your NHS appointment? Then if the NHS can't deal with DD soon enough you can make a decision about whether to go private without having to start again from scratch. Or you can decide to fight for faster NHS treatment.

It is a fight - on a separate matter I find with my GP's surgery, there is one GP who I always have to fight to get what I want. REally really push. It's frustrating but we get there in the end.

Original poster

ListersSister · 02/07/2008 20:04

Thanks again - it is nice to be able to sound off and get advice on this

Kbear - DD had cranial for several months when she was younger and alas it made no difference to her glue ear. It just comes and goes, but has been present for about 5 months now, and especially bad for the last 2.

When DD was under ENT when younger we were told grommets weren't that useful and she would grow out of it, so we haven't chased anything. Now I am hearing mutterings that it can't be that bad as we havent heard from you before....grr!

elfsmummy - aside from ideological issues with going private and the issue of money [hmm}, if we did go proiate for an initial appt and the consultant said she would need grommets, then could (s)he put her on the NHS waiting list right there?

Anyone know what waiting list times for grommet ops are anyway?!

OP posts:

emma1977 · 02/07/2008 20:10

The GP themselves won't be able to put pressure on anyone, but ask their secretary to keep trying the consultant's secretary and see if they can speed things up. The GP will have no say at all in what decision the ENT people make, so its pointless nagging them for grommets.

My secretary is a brilliant nagger (in the nicest possible way) and has got mountains moved on several occasions!

DarthVader · 02/07/2008 20:16

From my own experience, not hearing well as an adult is isolating and affects your confidence. Clearly it also effectively excludes you from some of what goes on.

As a parent you will need to make a big fuss and be very pushy, even if you are not like this by nature. If not you will not find it easy to get the help for your dd that she needs.

KathG · 02/07/2008 20:23

We saw the consultant privately after we found that the 6 week wait was for an appointment date! It was definitely worth it, we had an unhurried consultation, and DD went on to the NHS grommet list and had them in a week after her initial NHS appt would have been - it changed her completely!

ReallyTired · 02/07/2008 20:24

My son had hearing aids for 18 months for glue ear. He did have grommets done but they fell out after 8 weeks and I felt another grommets op was a bit pointless.

My son also has terrible scarring on his ear drums caused by grommets. My son's glue ear has cleared up and his classroom has a soundfield system.

Buda · 02/07/2008 20:24

It all sounds so frustrating.

Would def go on cancellation list.

Private appt to start off if you can.

Try the cranial again. Got to be worth it. It may have been helping - you say she has gotten worse in last few months.

If the cranial doesn't seem to make a difference would do the non-dairy thing. I had to do it with DS for a year for diff reasons - and it was not as bad as I thought. You can get soya yoghurts/rice milk etc etc. I did it in Bulgaria so would reckon you could def do it in UK.

Than at least you know you have tried everything.

elfsmummy · 02/07/2008 20:52

In my experience if you see the consultant privately and they decide that your DDs needs a procedure she can be added to the NHS list the following day.

I did this with my DD and her reflux. I know what you mean about the ideological issues but the way I saw it it was a win/win situation. I could afford the initial consultation (although I doubt I could have afforded the rest of her treatment) and by going private I wasn't adding to the waiting list on the NHS thus freeing up "my" space IYSWIM

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