How to help my teen cope with my mum's cancer diagnosis?

[GreebosWhiskers]

My mum was diagnosed with lung cancer a couple months ago. It's incurable & has spread to her brain, stomach & lower spine (very small tumours) but is very slow-growing & hopefully containable. She's responded well to chemo so far & things were looking good until the start of the week when she got really breathless & was rushed to hospital. Turns out she had 2 massive blood clots, one on each lung, & it was very close for a while.

She seems to be getting better again & is desperate to see the kids but 15yo dd1 doesn't want to go see her. dd2 spoke to her about it & it appears that dd1 is trying to distance herself from my mum in the hope that if the worst does happen it won't hurt so much if she's already used to not seeing her

dd1 & dd2 live with their dad & stepmum (it was their stepmum that I spoke to about all this) & we're wondering how on earth to help dd1 through her fear that she's going to lose her gran. Are there any good websites/books/leaflets where we can get info?

I'm very sorry for you greebos - it must be a difficult enough time without seeing your dd so very upset.

I know winstons wishes suport children who lose a parent but not sure about grandparents.

I was not much older than your daughter when my Grandad was diagnosed with lung cancer. I can well understand her reaction; at that age as well you think you're invincible and it comes as a big shock to realise that no-one actually is. It is a harsh life lesson. It is bloody scary but your daughter needs to confront the realities of her nan's poor health now for her own sake. She could be left with years of regret not just to say guilt if she continues to not to see her nan.

Would suggest you contact Cancer Backup if you haven't already done so as they can give much needed support too:-

www.cancerbackup.org.uk

Thanks guys - I appreciate the advice.