DH's drinking - should I be worried?

[aleene]

I discovered tonight that DH had drunk a bottle of wine at home this afternoon, in secret and had hidden the empty bottle. he denied it until I told him I had found the receipt as well as the bottle. He did not seem drunk at all though, but I am wondering if this is because his body is used to so much alcohol. He works in a pub btw, so has access to drink all the time. I know for a fact he drinks every day.
This is not the first time I have been worried like this. He was drinking one afternoon when he was in charge of the children. Also I caught him drinking vodka in the afternoon recently.
Also there is a history of drinking problems in his family.
He doesn't think it is a problem but I do. I don't think it is okay to drink like that and be hiding it.
Should I be worried?

I would be troubled by any kind of secretive drinking.

its not good if he's hiding his drinking

I agree but how can I make him understand my concerns? If he won't listen to me then I don't know what to do.

agree. drinking in secret definitely odd. is he a a good dad/ dh otherwise?

if so maybe talking it through with him now might make him come to his senses?

well imho he needs to realise problem for himself

maybe a good positive chat about how fab he is sober???

hope someone comes along soon who can help a bit more, in the meantime big hug to you x

you can't make hiim understand - but he is clearly aware of them, that's why he's hiding it. With any drink problem the drinker is the only one who can make the change. You can very clearly and calmly set out why it bothers you and what it means if it is not addressed. (btw I was told by Relate that if he is drunk in charge of children he's breaking the law and could technically be arrested). I have just been through all this and don't envy you the rocky road ahead, but I think you really have to honestly address it, as with any drinking problem, denial and lying are huge parts of the problem. Good luck.

I would try and speak to him calmly without the accusations of you know and how you know, just tell him you are concerned and you love him, good luck.

Poor you, it is worrying.

It is up to him to realise though, you can tell him until you are blue in the face but he has to accept it and do something about it.

((((hugs))))

can you get someone else to talk to him?
Often the person closest to the situation isn't the best person iyswim
So his mum, best friend, your mum etc?

The fact that you are means you are, should is not the right question. www.al-anonuk.org.uk/Al-anon are a very helpful organisation, for families of people with alcohol related issues. All you have to do is visit the website and, I think, you find a number for your area.

Thanks for all your replies.
Yes he is a good dad to the children. He is a good husband although he is not here a lot. He comes home in the middle of the night so I don't know what state he comes home in.
Although he was drinking that afternoon he was not drunk, in fact I can't remember the last time I saw him drunk. But I also can't remember the last time I saw him go a day without a drink.
He is really stubborn btw and doesn't take advice from anyone.