Toilet habits - advice please

[mands145]

My child has developed a rather odd habit now that he is Year One. He will not go to toilet for No. 2's except in the home or familiar environments. When nature calls in school, he is somehow carefully wrapping his stool in lots of paper, stuffing it down his pants and bringing it home to hide in various crooks and crannies of his bedroom. He is clearly very embarassed and he will not discuss this. We have tried to be sensitive and talk about it in terms of hygiene. We have shown him where what to do rather than stuff it into a clean sock drawer. The school teachers have tried to talk about it and he denies it. They have suggested a child psychologist - I am not sure it warrants it. I am not sure what has triggered this - he has been fine since nursery and reception in the same school. Any advice gratefully received - many thanks.
MandS145

Oh dear can't school sort it out- the smell must be a give away in itself!!!! Are they not able to take him to the toilet and make sure it goes where it should- after he has wrapped it up?

Has he had a bad experience at school- maybe you don't even know about it- someone teasing him ( re.smell in loo??) or seeing someone else's poo in the loo???? I don't know. But I would take him to your GP soon and ask for a referral to a psych- sooner rather than later.

my DS1 very rarely uses a school toilet and this has been since reception.

In pre-school they had the toilets seats with the gap at the front and some wee came over on his shorts he was mortified and from then on wouldnt use a gappy toilet seat.

Infants school were great from year 1 onwards. They made sure the toilet seats were full ones. still no joy.

DS is now 11 and his reason for not using a school toilet is because they are disgusting! This is true really as they are not flushed after every use and often have tissues or hand towels or wee on the floor!

He will happily tell you he can hold it for 6 hours He comes out of school dancing most days

We are lucky to live near to school now and I must admit that one of the reasons we moved nearer was so DS could get home quickly. We used to live 25-30 mins walk away and would have to run most of the route with DS crying in pain and in a panic incase he had an accident.

Same here. None of my kids will use the schools loos for poos! Reasons-you have to use the toilets during break times therefore you don't eat/play if you have to poo. Kids are cruel, they look under/over doors and also take photos(no phones allowed in school but some kids have them). Teachers often say no to kids asking for the toilet and it must be bad enough if you need a wee,but if you need a poo

Ask him point blank if the other kids have teased him. Two of my kids, for whatever reason, take hours to poo and they're 15 and 13. I have suggested laxatives etc but they both deny a problem. I don't think (TMI alert) they have hard poo they just have "slow" poo.

My dh went to New York on a Thursday morning (3am) and got back on DSunday afternoon (2pm). She hadn't had a poo because they were
sharinga room and she didn't have the right amount of time to go!

Mrs Weasley- is your DS not using the loo all day? even for a wee? Is he in yr 6? If so, I would talk to school- i used to teach. it is not healthy not to use the loo for 6 hours- he will be dehydrated if he doesn't drink much during the day which will affect learning- the rain is 75% water.

Surely is he is a boy and standing to wee, then the toilets are not that bad?

Rain - brain- sorry!!!!

As a parent you need to complain about state of loos- and this issue.

Stickyj- don't want to seem harsh, but taking ages to poo is being constipated. What are your kids eating and drinking? Are they getting enough water over a day- and plenty fibre?

When my DS2 was in P1 girls and boys used the same loos - the boys urinals were first as you went in the door and then there were cubicles and I only discovered at the end of the year that he thought that the cubicles were only for girls and boys couldn't poo at school!

Check that your Ds doesn't have some kind of strange misconception or fear. Maybe on one occasion his poos didn't flush away so he is scared this will happen again?

Thanks all for the responses. Really helpful and yes I will ask if he has been teased at school - I suspect this is what has happened. Also their school loos get blocked often and the children seem very sensitive about this. So that could be an issue too.
The joys of parenthood and the trials of being little, eh...
Have a good week all.