To give up?

[awayhay]

I’ve written about this in depth on another post (possibly under a different name), but I’m now at a stage where I’m considering giving up trying to help.

My Mum is clearly very unwell. She looks like she’s about to drop dead. No one in my family is taking is seriously. No one took her to the Dr, so I ended up borderline forcing her to go.

Dr suspects cancer and booked her in do urgent scans. Parents v into conspiracy theories and for whatever reason they don’t want to go ahead with the scan.

I have done everything I can. I have pushed and pushed and made sure she’s gone to appointments (which she didn’t want to go to).

She cancelled the scan that she was meant to have today.

I feel like there is nothing more that I can do? Without the support of anyone else, there’s no way she’s going to get further help. Would I be able awful person if I gave up trying?

You can't force someone into medical treatment. If she doesn't want to go then take the focus off that and maybe just be there for company if she wants someone to sit with her.

People are frightened to find out and if they don't believe in medical treatments due to idiots filling their minds with lies, it will be pretty much impossible to convince them to go. If they are mentally competent there is nothing you can do. Just be there for them as a daughter and if they change their minds get things moving again.

What a difficult situation you are in @awayhay, 💐.
I think the only thing you can do is inform the GP about your mother’s actions and state of mind, and keep being available to your mum.
edited for typo

Her body her choice.

How old is she?

I think my answer would be very different depending on whether she was 50 or 90.

@ItsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthinkTotally agree. I’m just struggling to accept that she doesn’t want to help herself or try and get better.

She’s also not 100% mentally. Her memory has gone and she’s in a v confused state a lot of the time. She wouldn’t have wanted treatment even when she was of sound mind though tbh, so I just have to get over it really.

@FifthtimeluckyShe’s 63.

Just commented on another post as well - but basically she’s not completely of sound mind. She’s been having severe memory problems and v confused a lot of the time.

I will say though that she wouldn’t have wanted this help even when she was of sound mind.

I suppose I also want to feel like I’ve tried my absolute best so that I have a clear conscience when she dies.

I wouldn't call it giving up. You have just realised you can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do.

You are letting her have autonomy.

Perhaps just arrange some nice things to do together instead, even if just spending time together. It sounds like she may benefit from that much more.