DS has tumour, here for a handhold

[MumtoDS]

Just here for a handhold, not wanting any scary insights right now.

DS - young adult - had a seizure earlier this week and the cause turns out to be a brain lesion/tumour. He stabilised very quickly and even before given the steroids. Surgery has been scheduled for about 5 weeks time. He has some regular meds to take, there will be preparatory appointments to attend and advice is to carry on with life with a few lifestyle adjustments like no alcohol, no driving, good sleep schedule.

DH and I in shock, DS also obvs. DH and I have gone into our coping modes. Mine is trying to be organised and practical. This can mean I act a bit detached, but more that I just don't think beyond the next step/arrangement and my reassurance responses are automatic not addressing detail if I can help it.

DS has lovely friends who have rallied round him super quick. A beautifully effusive card just arrived. All of them are just amazing young people.

We are telling close family and friends. This is fine, but with certain friends it's a bit difficult. My closest female friend is epileptic and I knew she'd share her story again. I fully understand why, but it was the wrong time for me to hear it, if that makes sense. My closest male friend used to be a paramedic and is very good at knowing what to say, so very grateful for this.

I name changed for this because I just want a handhold. I'm not even sure why an anonymous hug is important, but feel it is.

sending you all much love and a huge hug. Sounds like your paramedic friend will be a source of comfort in RL.

My husband has a brain tumour. Unfortunately his is glioblastoma, which is much less likely for a young adult (he is 47). Please do feel free to DM me.

Sending a handhold.

Worry is worry OP.

But my DSis, an old MN friend, and a friend of my young adult DC are all living their best lives years on following treatment for various brain-sited tumours.

So stick with your own approach, practical, dealing with the next stage...your hand held, my fingers crossed.

Everything depends on what type of tumour it is - there are lots of types and many have good outcomes. Just take one week at a time.

We don't know what it is yet. As a young person they say likely benign but we dint know yet. It's left side, above ear and small.

Hugs re your DH

Sending love, and a handhold for you and your husband.

It sounds like your son has an incredible support network around him, it’s absolutely heartwarming to read, despite the circumstances.

Such a shock to deal with!
Take very good care. With your friend who may discuss things you don't want to - maybe keep her updated by message and say you are too upset to chat in detail. A good friend will understand.

Try to stay grounded, breathing exercises are good.

I'm so sorry, sending you a big hug and handhold. You're coping as best you can by being practical but don't bottle it up too much - I'm a great one for having a good cry in the shower or alone in the car! I'm just not good at leaning on other people for support. It sounds like your lovely son has got a great group of friends so encourage him to share his fears and worries and also have some normality, hanging out and doing his favourite activities as much as possible.

It's a scary and difficult time for you all, be kind to yourself and take one day at a time 💐

It must be a huge shock but so far, so good.

He has a lot in his favour, young and otherwise healthy, recovered quickly before steriods, supportive family and friends. While not guaranteed, the odds are in his favour

Easy for me to say, but all you can do is take one step at a time. Make sure he sticks to the sleep schedule and preparation guidance. Don't google or catastrophise - just deal with what's in front of you and take it one step at a time. Take the support of those who are helpful and ignore those who aren't - it's ok to prioritise immediate family right now - drown out other noise if needed.

It might be helpful to start breaking it down - for now, focus on the 5 weeks. You can then deal with next steps when you get there etc.

Finally, it's ok to feel all the feelings - worried, scared, unfairness, love, hope etc.
Just deal with them all they happen.

Yes, she understands but is a super sensitive and upfront emotional person and I'm the opposite. A wonderful loyal pal though.

I also have an amazing line manager who is a close friend of many years who has been a great support always.

Hugs from me, too. I hope your son has the very best outcome.

Regarding your friend, I have one like this where you can't tell him anything without him trying to tell you his story (which I've heard so many times I could recite it in my sleep). Maybe you could tell your friend when someone else is there and have them say, "This isn't about your epilepsy, Friend, so don't let's talk about that now."

This has made me smile. Yup, you got her in one. However, she needs tiptoe sensitivo treatment as she's sooo emotional. We are opposites even in politics but we get on so well

Big hugs to your family and dear boy.

I can understand why you would struggle with hearing your friends experiences. Ironically when I was diagnosed with epilepsy in my late teens, mum's best friend also had epilepsy and gave me chapter and verse about her stories. She meant well but I couldn't bear it as it was to close to home, I wasn't looking for a support group! Even years later I struggle with it when she harps on about it.

Awful news for your family and i am sending love and best wishes to you all. Take all the help that is offered. I hope the coming weeks bring good news and the best of outcomes💐

Well I popped out to the local shop and now my neighbour (healthcare professional) knows too. Inevitably I blurted it out. It was a helpful conversation plus I now know I can't keep it all in all the time.

Thank you for all the really kind and useful replies on here so far. It does help

My friend had a humungous one the size of an orange! She is now fine. Recovery was 6 weeks, took a bit longer for hair to grow back properly but otherwise she is completely fine.

Sending you a hug. I can’t imagine the worry you must feel. Science is amazing and he’ll be well looked after in his surgery and recovery I’m sure.

DS has beautiful wavy longish hair that is slightly in need of a good tidy up. The registrar told us his surgeon is very neat and will use minimal shaving. I think o might have looked a bit disappointed.

Wishing your son all the very best to get through this 🥰

Hope he recovers well. Sending love ❤️

Couldn’t read this and not comment. I feel for you all. I had a single seizure early Jan that’s led to discovering a tumour (I am 41). Feel free to drop me a message if I can offer any support in any way. Mine isn’t operable.

i am sharing the journey via Instagram too. Awareness and funding for tumour research needs raising.

my very best wishes

Hi, happy to chat if helpful, DH was diagnosed in 2015 and still very much with us, working a busy job, travelling, doing lots of activities he is probably not supposed to! He’s recently had treatment and responded well. Monitored regularly, we’ve had excellent care from NHS. Sending hugs and a firm handhold, it is a very scary time. My boys were only little when DH was first diagnosed, I remember the absolute fear and stress of the unknown very clearly.

Sorry to hear this. Best of luck with his treatment - just take each day as it comes and make sure you’re getting support too.

What a terrible shock for you all. Wishing your DS the best possible outcome.

He continues well, just a bit more tired than usual. To be honest we all are at this point